My Ex Almost Broke Me

The nerve

Nande’s POV

For two full weeks, my siblings have been annoying me about the date, as if I didn’t know that I had messed up. But at least they were talking to me, even if they were dragging me. I know I messed up and I’ve been typing and deleting a text to Bukhosi. But I saw that he uploaded a w******p status. That means he still has my contacts and he didn’t block me from seeing his status updates.

“Give them time Nande,” said my mom, rubbing my shoulders softly. I even forgot that we were talking about my old friends. They won’t talk to me, especially Annie. Elaine sent me a text that she was no longer angry. It happened a long time, but she didn’t think the friendship would work, but I could shout if I needed help. At least that was something, but I needed the friendship we had before I met Lucky. No matter how much I try each morning, I am reminded of the relationships I ended because of a guy who I doubted that he

even loved me. Just then, Zandi walked in with my phone in her hand. To say she was furious would be an understatement of the century. My heart beat faster. She wasn’t mad at me, right? I haven’t done anything to make anyone angry for the past two weeks. My heart ached when I thought about not talking to my siblings again. We have bonded on movies the past two weeks and we have been discussing career options for me. At my age, I really don’t know what to study. Growing up, I wanted to be a teacher, but now I don’t think it’s what I really wanted. I was influenced by the fact that my mom was a teacher and I spent most of my day at school.

“What is it?” I asked her.

“She won’t stop calling.” Just then the phone rings, she shows me the screen. Mother-in-law. I was so embarrassed. I saved her contacts like that. When we started chilling together, I thought I was loved but she was using me for food and money. My mother mouthed what? Zandi showed who was calling. I took the phone from her. When I was about to answer, the phone stopped ringing. I looked up. I didn’t like the way my mom and sister were looking at me. “What?” I asked them, frowning. I wanted to know what was going on in their minds.

“You have her contacts saved like that?” She asked. “No, actually you still have her contacts?” When I opened my mouth to explain, my mother interrupted.

“Do you still talk to that cruel woman?” Asked my mom. She sounded hurt. And I understood where she was coming from.

“No, I last talked to her that morning when we went to her house. I still have her contacts because I haven’t thought of deleting them.” I wasn’t lying. When I thought of her, I quickly tried to think of something else. My mom and sister seemed relieved to hear that. Just then, Lucky’s mom called. I tapped answer on the screen but I didn’t say anything. My sister signed that I should put my phone on speaker, but my mother dragged Zandi out of the kitchen with her. She said something about her flowers. But we all knew she wanted to give me space to talk to the other woman.

“Nande, my daughter, I am glad you answered. I have been trying to call you but you weren’t picking up. I was worried about you,” lied Lucky’s mom. I checked the call log, she wasn’t calling me. She hung up after two rings. That was what she usually did. And like the stupid girl I was, I would call her and even buy her airtime after that call. She had airtime but she wanted me to call her and when it was clear that I wasn’t going to call her, she called me. Clearly, this was what she always did all of those, but I was too stupid to see it. I focused on being loved and she pretended to love.

“I answered.” I could tell this wasn’t the answer she expected from me. She stuttered when she talked next. Her plan wasn’t working. She had to find another one. “I have been thinking…” She was quiet for some time. I always filled out the blanks. Not today. I waited for her to lie to me. She lets out an uncomfortable laugh. I still didn’t say anything. “Nande, my beautiful daughter.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. This woman really thought I was stupid. She thought I couldn’t see when I was being used. Well, in the past, I was blind but now I am not. “I missed you and I thought I could call you.” She tried again. It wasn’t working either, but she didn’t give up, she wanted something and she was not going to get it. At least not from me. “I know I was wrong to treat you the way I did when you last came here.” She was now forcing tears, I almost laughed. She wanted something. I bet she didn’t have food or she needed to pay an illegal money lender and her child couldn’t help her. I didn’t know why it took me so long to see her for she was. I was blinded by the need to be loved by her, as if my own mom didn’t love me. This woman loved me unconditionally. “Can we meet? I need to apologise in person.”

“When do you want to meet?” I asked. There was so much I wanted to say to her. She stopped crying immediately. Crocodile tears. “We could meet now.” I could hear the smile in her voice. Sly smile. This woman thought I was stupid.

“Now is not the right time.”

“We could meet tomorrow,” she said quickly. She definitely needs something.

“Where can we meet?”

“Come to my house. Even though you and Lucky didn’t work out, this is still your home. Always.” I rolled my eyes.

“I can’t come to your house. Let’s meet in town.”

“I would have to borrow the taxi fare.” In the past, I always suggested that to her and I would always pay it back. But this time for her sake, I hope she has enough money. I am not giving that woman a cent. I agree and I told her I’ll see her tomorrow.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, my baby. I love you.” Wow. I didn’t say anything more, I just hung up the phone. She thought I was stupid. I put my phone on the counter and I headed outside to tell my mom and sister about the strange phone call I had.

“What did she want?” Asked Zandi as soon as she saw me. My mom reprimanded her. I joined them, I sat on the ground.

“She wants to see me. So I told her I'd see her tomorrow.”

“So you want to see her?” Asked my mom, she sounded hurt. I needed to assure her that I wasn’t going to rebuild any relationships. I told them about the phone and we laughed at that woman’s drama.

“I need to tell her to leave me alone, but I need to do it in person. She needs to see and know that I am no longer that stupid person who did everything to impress her and her son. I want to tell her to stop calling me before I block her. I have so much to say to her but I need to tell her to her face. If she cared she wasn’t going to treat me like that. I am not saying she was supposed to say I was pregnant with their child, but at least let us in, agree that she knew me. Even if Lucky still maintained that he wasn’t the father, it was going to be okay. And now that she needs food and money, she calls me? She thinks I’m stupid. She didn’t even ask about the baby, because I doubt Lucky told her what he did. And then she told me she loved me before I hung up. How could she claim to love me? I am angry at myself for not seeing them for who they were. I don’t even know why I was so desperate for her love, as if I wasn’t loved at home.” My mom pulled me into a hug, while Zandi rubbed my back. I am not lying, I am mad at myself.

I hit my forehead with my open palm. “I forgot to delete her contacts again.”

“It’s okay Nande, you can do that later.”