My Ex Almost Broke Me

The date

Nande’s POV

When I get to the restaurant I get but gasp in surprise. This guy went all out. Reserving a table here must have cost him a fortune. The food must be super expensive. I underestimated this guy. I saw his old van and I thought he was going to take me to a cheap restaurant. But wow. And as soon as I spotted him, I became nervous. I was a little sweaty. Thank God I wore a summer dress and sandals. But being here inside this upscale restaurant, I feel underdressed. He went all out. The least I could do was to dress the part. Maybe instead of sandals I should have worn heels. But maybes and ifs are not going to help me right now. So I walked towards him and his face literally brightened when he saw me. I don’t remember seeing Lucky’s face like that after he broke my virginity. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about him. But damn, I miss him. For a second, I wished it was him waiting for me at the other end of the room.

“You look beautiful, Nande,” complimented Bukhosi, even before I got to where he was. He meant the compliment. When Lucky complimented me, I knew he wanted something. Maybe this guy wants to take me home after the date. Why would he compliment me? I’m only wearing a dress and sandals on a date. But still the compliment made me happy. I smiled shyly, everyone in the restaurant turned to look at me. When I got to our table, he complimented me again. “Wow, you look amazing,” he said, as he opened the chair for me. I awkwardly thanked him. Two compliments under two minutes? Of course, it’s bound to make me awkward. We sat in an uncomfortable silence. I kept looking everywhere but his face. Our view of the city is breath-taking. I can’t help but imagine how it must be when the sun sets or rises. I could sit here for hours just looking at this view. When I asked him when was the last time he went on a date and he told me that it was nine months, it meant him and the former Mrs went on dates. And looking at the restaurant shows that they went out on dates a lot. How the hell would he know about this kind of place? I judged him based on his old van. He must be leading a lifestyle he affords. I judged him based on my previous relationship. And what’s worse is that I turned this date into a venting session. A therapy session. He’s being polite. That’s what I liked about him when I asked him to take me out. He’s soft spoken, polite and friendly. I am not used to that kind of personality. And it looked like he was close with my siblings. He asked them questions and, by the way he asked them, it was clear it was something they talked about the last time they talked. He was attentive while working. He liked their conversations. Anyone could tell. So what am I doing sitting here talking about Lucky? What is wrong with me? And when he told me he wasn’t my ex, I looked at the menu and I choked on my saliva. This place is expensive. I was hoping I’d spend around R150 or even less. The cheapest meal doesn’t even cost R150.

“Nande, it’s okay, you can order whatever you like. Don’t look at the prices, just look at the list,” said Bukhosi kindly. I still look at the cheapest on the menu and when I finally place my order, Bukhosi told the waiter to excuse us. The confused guy just politely nodded and he turned and went back to where he came from.

“You’re not paying. I am,” assured Bukhosi after some time. He was waiting for the waiter to be out earshot.

“We don’t have to go 50/50 for the bill?” I asked him, shocked.

He looked shocked at my question, it was like I offended him. He shook his head before he answered. “No, I am settling the bill. So order what you really like.” He sounds so assuring. I looked at the menu again as he waved the waiter over. We placed our order and I felt uncomfortable. The food costs R420 in total.

“Don’t look so depressed. It’s okay,” he assured me again.

And then I did it again, I couldn’t help it. “It’s just Lucky has never paid for anything. I always paid for everything. So I was worried about money. I had a light meal before I left the house, so I wouldn’t have to spend more money than I had budgeted.”

He looked at me, liked really looked at me. He opened his mouth but he shook his head and closed his mouth. It was clear he was torn between keeping quiet or voicing whatever was on his mind. But in the end he decided not to say anything.

“Are you angry at me?” I asked him. He quickly looked up from the menu. This question shocked him even more. “No, why would you think I was?” he asked, frowning. I just shrugged, but he looked at me until I decided to come clean.

“Why did you stay this long with a guy like that?” his voice softened. I almost cry.

“I love him and deep down I know he loves me too, he just had a weird way of showing it.” He wouldn’t stay with me for seven years if he didn’t, right? We don’t express ourselves the same way. We all have different ways of showing our love. Our food arrived and it was delicious and definitely worth the money Bukhosi had to pay. We continue with our conversation between bites. He listened, nodded and commented while I bit his ear off. We stayed an hour after our meal before we decided to leave.

I would be surprised if he asked me out on a date next time. I bet he is going to delete my contacts as soon as he leaves the restaurant. I really messed up what would have been a good date. I don’t know what got into me. I am so stupid.