When We Were Drunk

Night 019

            I don’t want to remember what happened. Because until now, I still feel horrible. I feel like I failed as Cesca’s friend.

            We don’t really know if that gossip was true. I can’t imagine Cesca being in a mental facility, that’s just cruel. My friend is fine, she just made a mistake. That’s what I want to believe in.

And I don’t want to think that it did happen because I wouldn’t want her to suffer like that. We were good friends.

            My phone suddenly buzzed so I reached out to the coffee table to get it. The frown in my face was replaced with a smile when I saw Ly’s name.

            9:34 PM

            From: Ly

                        Hey, giraffe! Where are you?

            9:36 PM

To: Ly

                        I’m in my unit, toddler. Drink your milk now or Tita will get mad.

            I laughed out loud after sending that message. I’m sure Ly’s nostrils will flare as soon as she read that message. Minutes passed and my phone buzzed again.

            9:40 PM

            From: Ly

                        Whatever, giraffe. I’m drinking my cocktail now so you better hurry here at Artesian. And no, I won’t take no for an answer.

            9:41 PM

            To: Ly

                        Cocktail? You’re still weak, toddler. See you in twenty.

            It took me ten minutes to finally fix myself. This one should be on the record ‘cause before, I usually take an hour to get ready whenever we have a nighout. I still can’t believe I managed to do my make-up in five minutes. Good thing, I already took a bath when I got home earlier so my hair was already blow-dried.

            A mini black dress paired with silver slingback shoes is my outfit for tonight. The dress is just plain black, what I love about it is the little details at the back—it has an X string. Glancing at the mirror, I’m pretty satisfied with the outcome of my smoky eyes and red lipstick. Seeing myself dressed like this felt a little uncomfortable.

            I’m no longer used to seeing myself so dressed. My style drastically changed since I can no longer afford all those designer clothes. When our family went bankrupt, I had to sell half of my designer outfits, three fourths of my luxurious bags and even my most prized shoes. Others may think I am overreacting but seeing my walk-in closet with lots of spaces now…it saddens me every now and then.

            I was so used to living in luxury.

But now, I’m fine with simple. At first it was so hard for me to adjust, I just can’t believe it happened so fast. It came to a point that I don’t wanna go out because I feel like they’re looking at me, judging my normal clothes and pitying me.

In months, I accepted my situation. I can breathe more with comfy clothes. But of course, I couldn’t wear my pajamas to a night club.

            Artesian was just seven minutes away from my building. I wanted to just walk or ride a jeepney because my allowance is no longer that huge unlike before. But because I’m wearing a short and tight clothing, I decided to take a cab.

            I sighed. The drinks are expensive too. I’ll just do overtime tomorrow at work.

            There is no entrance fee at Artesian but they are very strict so not anyone can just barge inside. I’m lucky the bouncers remembered me and with my mini black dress, I don’t look out of place. And yes, I did go here countless of times before.

            Ly texted me that they are at the second floor so I made my way on the stairs. There are tables on the sides and the huge dancefloor is in the middle. Artesian was packed at the moment so it was kinda hard for me to walk fast because there are lots of people dancing.

            I sighed when I reached Ly’s table. There are six people in there—Ly and Tobby, her boyfriend, Matt who’s a friend of Tobby, Kia who is also a close friend and two other people I’m not familiar with. It was kinda awkward seeing Tobby again after what happened but he gave me a genuine smile so I tried my best to let go of what I’m feeling.

            Kia patted the seat between her and Ly so that’s where I settled. She smiled warmly at me, “Long time no see, Marg.”

            “Vodka for Margaret!” Matt handed me the shot glass and urged me to drink it. I accepted it and swigged all of its content.

            Everyone in our table cheered. It was great seeing their smiles for me, I missed moments like this. I feel like I’m being back to my usual scene.

Matt wiggled his brows at me. “Looking strong, Santua! My drinking buddy is back!”

I chuckled at how hyper Matt is. “Yeah, so you better slow down your drinking ‘cause I’m sure you’ll get drunk first. Like always.”

Ly and Kia teased him more because of my remark. He even acted as if he’s in pain that made us laughed. Matt is really the joker of our group, I sure missed his corny lines.

They also introduced me to the other two guys. The one with clean cut hairstyle is Carson while Pax is the guy with messy hair. Kia told me that they used to be Tobby and Matt’s groupmates in a subject, they clicked so now they’re in the group.

Carson offered me a smile while Pax said hello.

            “Drinks on me, Marg!” Ly happily announced. “Come on, get your tequila!”

            I let her pay for my drink since I really don’t have the money to spend on expensive alcohols. I got myself a negroni and tequila. An hour passed and the laughter in our group became louder. We were all pretty tipsy because Matt insisted to down a bottle of vodka.

            “Marg,” Matt’s groggy voice called me.

            The guy was so drunk he can’t even hold his glass properly. I raised my brow at him, “Hm?”

            “Is Alfonso better than us?”

            I stopped drinking.

            “Why are you always with him? Everyone says you’re so close…” he continued. Matt looked at me with sadness in his eyes, drunk people really display their real emotions. “I don’t want to believe it, but I’ve seen it, Marg. Why won’t you let us near you but you allowed him to?”

            Getting the bottle of vodka, I poured my glass and drank it straightaway.

            “But I’m glad you’re back, Margarita,” then he smiled.

            It looked so genuine that I did not think twice, I just stood up and went straight to Matt. Then I hugged him. Tight. I missed it, the way he calls me “Margarita” eversince he taught me how to drink alcohol.

            I bit my lips to prevent the tears from falling. “I’m sorry, Matt.” I whispered.

            When the news spread out in our university that I slept with Tobby, I distanced myself to them. Matt and Kia were angry at first but the next day, they told me we are friends and they forgive me. I felt so guilty, I thought that I am not worthy of their forgiveness. What I did was horrible but they easily set it aside for our friendship.

            So I avoided them. I told them to leave me alone, that I am fine with myself. And I regretted pushing them away, they are my friends. I shouldn’t have done that.

            Matt was about to kiss me on the lips when I pushed his face away. He’s still the same, whenever he’s drunk he loves kissing people around him.

            “Dude, get off!” Carson irritatingly said when Matt moved closer to him and put his arms around Carson’s shoulders.

            Kia pushed Matt even closer so Carson ended up being kissed on his cheek. The whole group laughed at what happened while Carson kept on wiping his cheeks with his thumb.

            We continued catching up while drinking. Ly and Kia were both animated in telling me all the events i have missed, their last vacation in Paris and of course, the embarrassing things that Matt did.

            Speaking of Matt, he went to his next victim for the night.

            Pax glared at him. “Kiss me again and I’ll f*****g kill you!”

            Tobby laughed so loud that we, the girls looked at him in confusion. He then started filling us with the details. It was their celebration night for getting a good grade in one of their project proposal, said Tobby. They were in a bar in Makati getting wasted when Matt launched himself to Pax and kissed him full in the lips.

            “Oh my gosh!” Kia looked at Pax and laughed. “I can imagine!”

            That was so hilarious my stomach ache a little due to too much laughter.

            “Let’s dance!”

            Ly did not wait for an answer, she just dragged Kia and I on the first floor unti we reached the middle on dancefloor. A familiar pop song by Ariana Grande hyped the crowd. At first I was a bit awkward but Kia put her hands on my waist and started dancing with me.

            I just found myself moving along with the beats of the song.

            Ly started doing crazy moves which made me cracked up in laughter. The fun doubled when Kia decided to follow Ly’s dance moves.

            Drinking and dancing like crazy feels so nice. I missed this.

            I was playfully shaking my hips towards Ly when I caught a pair of eyes staring at me. Maybe I’m just drunk so I ignored what I saw. Then the song changed to a LANY hit so I slowed down my moves and as I did my eyes landed on him again.

            Damn. I’m not imagining things. It’s really him.

            Alfonso stared back at me and he was not smiling. The lights were crazy and it was a bit dark but I can see the serious look he is giving me. I continued looking at him until a girl went to him and snaked her arm on his hips.

            I can’t be mistaken. That girl is Cesca.

My breathing hitched. I don’t know why but my eyes feel so hot. I feel sick but at the same time, I want to punch someone in the face. The two of them are together. Again.

            He saw me looking at Cesca and his eyes widened. I shook my head at him in disappointment. When I saw him about to go near me, I immediately pushed the people around me just to get away from this place.

            It was hard getting outside but I was desperate so I didn’t care who I bump into. I just wanted to go out! I can’t take seeing the two of them together. It’s not just jealousy I feel. I also feel betrayed.

            A tear suddenly fell on my eye and I immediately wiped it away with my hand. Don’t cry, Margaret. Don’t ever cry.

            “Margaret!”

            Hearing Alfonso calling my name made me walk faster. Hell, I even wanted to run but these freaking shoes won’t let me. I thought he was already gone but I was shocked when he grabbed my wrist and made me face him.

            “Don’t run away from me,” he said as he lifted up my chin. “Please, let me explain.”  

            His voice sounded so weak and pleading. It makes me want to put my guard down and just cry while hugging him. Alfonso’s eyes stares at me as if I’m the only one who sees, he’s holding my gaze intently like he’s afraid thet if he withdraws, I’ll be gone. It makes me want to believe whatever he would say to me.

            But I can’t. I want to trust him but a part of me is terrified to do it.

            I forcefully removed his hand from my shoulders. Alfonso just brought it back and even tightened his grip on me a bit.

            “Marg…talk to me.”

            His gaze was too strong. It’s making me weak.

            “Let go,” I sternly said.

For the second time tonight, I ran.

            To be continued…