Her King Of Shadows

Chapter XXX.

She slowly opened her eyes, aware of the light coming into the room. Without moving, she noticed she was not in the place she expected. The sound of the sea was gone from her. She looked around, noticing the white walls with small golden flowers. Her hands touched a soft blanket thrown against her body. She slowly sat up aware of the silk shirt she was wearing. She wasn’t in the sanctuary anymore. The room she was in was light and large. Long golden curtains were hiding wide windows and glass doors. On the other side, she could see a small writing desk, sofa, and armchairs. Everything is decorated in gold. She felt pain but not as strong as before. She moved the blanket to the side. Looked at her hands which were still bruised on their wrists. Her eyes filled with tears as each and every memory started to attack her. She fought not to scream.

-You shouldn’t get up yet.-she heard a voice. Victoria was standing at the door carrying a glass of water. -This is the third time you have woken up. Each time you try to stand,-she said, coming closer. She saw Shana flinch from her when she came too close. She put the glass down on the nightstand. -Drink.-she said, sitting down on a chair close to the bed.

-Where are we?-it hurt her to speak but she needed to know. Victoria's face didn’t give anything away.

-We are home. We came here a week ago. You were too weak to remember the trip.-she answered. Shana nodded her head.

-His home.-she refused to say his name.

-Your home too.-she told her calmly. She bowed her head, looking at her hands. She felt different. Calmer. But more empty.

-Do you know what happened?-she whispered.

-I was waiting for you to tell us.-Victoria avoided the answer. Shana looked into her eyes. He was their leader. They will always take his side. -When I found you… Let's just say things didn’t look so good.-she said with a gentle smile. But Shana didn’t want her compassion. She didn’t want her pity.

-Thank you for helping me.-she said.

-I'm sorry. But it wasn’t me. I mean. I wanted to help you but it wasn’t in my power to do that.-she tried to explain. Shana was confused. If not Victoria, then who? She waited for another explanation. -The leader has decided for you to live. And when such things happen, there is only one way that can be accomplished. Do you have any idea what he did? Do you feel anything?-she asked carefully. There was silence. Shana went back looking at her hands. She wanted to cry but it would be in vain. Because she felt it the first moment she woke up. She felt his presence in her heart. Like never before. She hid her face in her hands, trying to understand how it all fitted. What was fate wanting from her? Why is this happening?

-I should have died.-she said simply. Victoria wanted to come to her and embrace her but she knew this was not the time. It was too soon.

-Shana, do you know what it all means?-she asked again. Shana nodded her head. She knew. Her father had done the same to her mother.

-I cant. I can't do this. He…-she stopped herself from saying more. He was a leader, she reminded herself. They will stand by his side. She managed to stand up. Her legs were shaking but she was still standing. Victoria felt it was getting too much for her.

-Why don’t you refresh yourself and change your clothes? I will come later and we can go for a short walk. You should also eat something. It will be dinner time soon anyway.-she stood up. She went towards the closet and got some clothes for her. Shana watched her silently as she gave her a black shirt with pants and a thick grey sweater. -This will have to do for now. You have shoes in the closet also. Your underwear is in the toilet. If you need anything, just call me and I will come by.-she left her alone. Shana went inside the toilet. It was made in the same gold color as the rest of this place. She took her clothes off and stepped into the shower. She felt refreshed after she washed her hair and scrubbed her skin. Her mind was starting to think. She put on the clean clothes and went back to the room. She got closer to the glass doors and looked down. She saw a part of the entrance to a building and people walking in a small park. He was here. She could almost feel him near. Probably hiding in the shadows. This was his home after all. She brushed her long hair and braided it. She put on some soft brown leather booths and stepped out into the corridor.

Victoria was there talking to Einar. But Shana was too fat to hear what they were saying.

-Eandil Shana.-he said when he saw her. His green eyes looked through her as if he knew everything. She felt so vulnerable under his gaze. Victoria was aware of this.

-Come this way. Let's take a short walk, then we will join everyone in the dining room.-she took her by the hand. Shana pulled her hand away, following her down to the lobby. The home was actually a large and modernly renovated castle in the middle of the woods. Victoria was telling her about the rooms they have passed but it was hard for her to remember. They had stepped outside in the cold mountain air and she finally felt better. Her mind was empty now. Ready to start over.

-What happened to me?-she asked while they were walking.

-You are too young Shana.-her friend's voice was sad. They were walking in the park passing naked trees and white statues.

-I know that I am only 19. But I know what was done to me.-her voice sounded hollow.

-What I meant was you are too young to survive such a thing. What happened to you, what he had done…-Victoria also didn’t want to say his name out loud. As if they were scared, he would come to them if they did. -He wanted to make you his in a way that is done in the world of shadows. Because you have not accepted, he forced you. And your body started to struggle against him, treating his presence as poison. To make it simple. He was killing you because he was forcing you to join him in life. And you were rejecting him.-she tried to explain. Shana looked at her.

-Then why am I still alive?-she knew the answer but she needed to hear it. They have stopped. Shana looked towards the castle. He was there. Probably watching them at that very moment.

-He used the only thing he had left to bring you back. He gave you his life instead of trying to take yours.-she whispered. -Shana, you should never say this to anyone. We will all be in danger if anyone finds out. I even have to pretend to know nothing and see nothing. Please listen to me. Do not speak a word to anyone. Not even to him himself. We do not know what his plan is yet.-she begged her. There was actual fear in her voice. All coming from Araphel. She nodded her head, not saying a word.

-I can feel him.-she whispered. Victoria expected this.

-Yes, it is only natural. The bond will get stronger with time.-she said. They were going back to the castle. The wind was picking up. They got inside the lobby just in time to escape from the rain.

Victoria led her to a small dining room but Shana stopped before she came close to the table. She saw him sitting at the head of the table. His back was turned to her but she could recognize that black uniform anywhere. He was talking to the person next to him. It was Seth. She felt the same coldness and despair that started to haunt her every living step. She could feel his touch on her skin. His laughter. She could feel him again so close inside of her. She shook her head trying to force herself to let go. To forget. To pretend that she wasn’t hurt by him. But it was impossible. Then he turned and looked at her. And in those black eyes, she saw herself dying. Vanishing into darkness. She wanted to scream but no voice came out of her lips. She felt Victoria's hand on her shoulder. Trying to gently push her forward. But she could not move even if her life depended on it.

-Don’t touch her!-his voice ordered menacingly. Victoria backed away from her like she was scorched by fire. Shana took a deep breath. Tried to calm her weak heart to stop feeling for a moment. Seth and Araphel got up, waiting for her to take her seat. There was an empty seat on his right side that she knew was waiting for her. It took almost all of her strength to come forward. Bow her head and take her place at the table. Water was poured. Plates were placed in front of her. But she couldn’t see anything because of the tears in her eyes. She took the silverware in her hands and they started to shake. From the corner of her eye, she saw his hand resting on the table. That hand which struck her face. That kept holding her and attacking her. Her heart started beating faster. She took the glass of water and took a sip, trying to calm herself. Desperately trying to be strong.

-Are you feeling better, Eandil Shana?-she heard Seth's gentle voice. She didn’t look at him. She didn’t want anyone to see tears in her eyes. She nodded her head, taking a deep breath. She had to get away from this. If they were expecting her to behave as if nothing happened, she couldn’t do it. But then it came to her. Did anyone except Victoria even know what happened to her? Did they know what he did to her? Would they still be eating at his table if they saw their leader at their worst?

-You do not like the food.-she heard his cold voice. He was speaking to her. She put her hands on the table. She wasn’t in a state to hold a fork. Her throat was dry and painful.

-May I be excused?-she whispered. Without waiting for an answer, she stood up. Backed away from the table like it was on fire. Like it was so wrong to even think about sitting there. She turned her back to them and went to the door. She stepped outside into the hall, holding the wall with one hand. She felt a spasm shake her body. She fell to her knees feeling the blood in her mouth. The coldness was all around her. There were steps behind them. She knew them. She recognized his scent. She lifted her hand to tell him not to step closer. She was fine. She didn’t need him. She coughed, letting the red water come out from her mouth to the carpet. She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling someone putting a glass of water into her hand. She drank the cold liquid feeling better. Calmer. Stronger. She raised her head and saw him. It was him. Black eyes were searching for hers. Shana dropped the glass to the ground but it didn’t break. It was made from heavy crystal after all. She wanted to stand up but she was still feeling dizzy.

-Send me someone else. Anyone else.-she whispered. But she knew they wouldn’t dare. Seth and Einar were not allowed to touch her. He leaned on one knee, coming closer to her. They were in the same sight now.

-Either you stand by yourself or I carry you to your chambers.-that was the only possible answer. He noticed that her body trembled because of his words. She was terrified of him.

-Let me help her…-Victoria offered. He cut her off with one simple glare.

-Eandil Shana will show us how strong she really is.-he concluded. He offered her his hand but knew she would never take it. Shana took the last atom of her power. She managed to stand up. The black eyes were strong before him. She would not let him break her again. Leaning her back to the wall, she managed to step away from him. He was fire. She didn’t want to burn again. Not this time. Not ever.

-Stay away from me.-she said leaving them all.