Her King Of Shadows

XXXII.

Waiting for her reaction. Louis opened the front door and let them inside. She expected to see Einar or, in the worst case, Victoria but her eyes stopped in the blackness. Araphel came inside silently looking at her. He noticed an empty plate of food in front of her. She always ate a little at his home. Her long hair was falling on her shoulders and back. She smelled of the forest and freshly baked bread. And she was standing too close to another man.

-Damien.-he finally spoke, looking at him. Only Shana could hear a low threat in his voice. He didn’t like where he found her. She got up from the chair and looked at Louis.

-Thank you for all your help and the food. It was delicious.-she said.

-You are free to come any time. We are here most nights.-she said with a smile on her face.

-We need to go.-Araphel was waiting for her. She didn’t have a choice. She had to follow him. Black eyes were warning him not to touch her. She would not allow it.

-Maybe next time when you walk in the woods Araphel can show you the way out of his property. It’s a long way from the castle to get lost and keep going away from it.-Damien's words pierced her heart. He figured out the truth. Instinctively she grabbed, Araphels hand back. If she didn’t do that, he would already be lounging across the room and grabbing Damien's neck. She turned towards him and looked at him.

-Let's go.-she whispered. He looked between her and Damien as if he was still thinking which one to choose. His eyes went back to her hand in his. She was still holding on to him. Stopping him. How is that even possible? Nobody could control him. He moved to the side so she could pass. They went outside where a black car was waiting. Shana stopped hit by the cold wind. She hurried to enter the passenger seat. There was no driver this time. She was alone with him in the car.

He took the wheel and soon they were gone from the brother and sister. On the way back nobody said a word. Shana looked ahead into the darkness in front of them. Why did he come? He could have sent anyone?

-Did you really get lost or were you trying to get away?-he asked calmly. She thought about it for a second.

-I did both.-she answered. They were in front of the castle in a couple of minutes. He parked the car but they were still inside. She dared to look at him. Shana knew she would get only one chance to do this. Her courage was failing her fast.

-I want to go back to my father.-her voice was without any feelings.

-That’s not going to happen.-Araphel was ready for that.

-I'm not staying here with you.-she made that clear. -I want to go back to my family.-she repeated. He hated to tell her the truth but there was nothing else he could say.

-Boris will not accept you. I have already asked him. He forbade me to send you back. You have no place in his home.-he explained. Shana was silent. Remembering her last conversation with Boris, she knew he was telling the truth. She stepped out of the car, slamming the door. But she stood in front of the castle not wanting to go inside. That was his home.

-Shana we need to talk.-his voice was stronger than the wind. She bowed her head.

-Talk about what? There are no words.-she didn’t want him close.

-We need to talk about what happened.-Araphel was persistent. He would not back away. He would not let her be. There was a bitter smile on her face. He wanted to talk now.

-You cant talk to the dead.-she told him. Wishing he would just go away. Leave her alone. Leave her alone with the wind and the dark.

-You're not dead.-he was coming closer to her. Even though her eyes were closed, she could hear his steps. Would it be like this forever? Would she always be counting his steps and how close he was getting to her at every moment?

-But I feel like I am. Do you want to talk? Do you wish me to tell you all?-she asked him, opening her eyes. The storm in them was ready to burst.

-You need to know that I will not hurt you again. You are going to be safe from everyone. Including me.-she needed to hear that.

-Don’t come to me with words of safety. Do not dare to mention it. I was safe in the desert. Much safer than I will ever be with you. I was safe while they were hitting me, starving me, humiliating me each day. For what? Because I refused to abandon you. Because I kept this stupid naïve hope that I meant something to you. I curse the day I left the desert. I curse the day I saw you. Why didn’t you just let me die? Then I wouldn’t be feeling you inside of me. I wouldn’t…-she stopped. Came to him and pushed him away. With all her strength she pushed him. And he let her do it. Her hair fell on her face. -Why would you do this to me? To anyone? This is the thing I cant understand. But now it's not even important. Go to hell! Go back to the hell you came out of and stay there! Do not come back! Do not look for me, do not talk to me. Do not touch me! And get out of my mind, my heart. Come out of my soul. I don’t want you there. I never want you again!-she screamed at him. She didn’t care if anyone could hear them. Those were her words. Those were her truths to him. She fell to her knees, losing all power. She said all she needed to tell him. Now there was nothing left.

Araphel looked at her. Aware of her rage. Of her pain. It had touched him. He got closer, not wanting anyone else to hear what he had to say. This was his time. His truth. He bent down to the floor.

-I am here. This is me. What is left of me in the three years since I lost you. They have told me you were dead. They have told me that the enemy burned your body and there was nothing left to see. I believed them. And turned into this thing you see. Because without you I wouldn’t want to live. Without you I am nothing. Just pure darkness. And when I saw you again. When you stood before me, I knew I would never be that warrior you have left. It was too late, Shana. I have done so many things in my life. But this is the only time I regret. I had no right. But when I saw you standing with him, I knew you wanted to leave me. You wanted to go with him, because I had nothing to offer you. And the only thing I knew was that I couldn't let you go.-he whispered into her ear. He took his coat off. Put it across her shoulders. Her lips were getting blue from the cold. -And still I can't let you go. Even you hate me as much as this. I can't find the strength in me to let you go.-he said, pulling her towards him. Shana didn’t know what was happening. His words were still in her mind. She looked at him. And instead of despair, she found strength. It will not be this easy. She would not allow him to keep her close. He lost the right to touch her. To feel her. To be with her. He had destroyed them. They were dead. He noticed a change in her. Her eyes lost all light in them. They became darker than ever before.

-I don’t want your darkness. I don’t want to be part of your world of shadows. The only thing you know how to do is to destroy. To kill. To defeat. I will not be a part of it.-she pushed him again. Took off his jacket while her heart was beating so fast she thought it would break in half. -You were all I wanted. All I hoped for. But now there is nothing. You are right. You will never be the warrior I want by my side. Never!-she yelled at him. He took each word as a stab to his heart. Coming from her. The only person in the world he wanted in his life.

-Shana.-he said her name. whispered it. -Do you want to die?-he asked her. She didn’t back away. Not know not ever.

-I am ready.-she said, being proud. The wind was playing in her long hair. She resisted the cold. The rain started to fall. And Araphel knew now better than ever before that she was the person he had been waiting for so long.

-There is no escaping who we are Eandil.-his voice was strangely sad when he finally spoke. -We can try to pretend that we are something else. But at the end of the day, when the darkness comes and claims us. The only thing that we can do is to obey.-he concluded bitterly. Her head was raised high. The black eyes didn’t back away.

-I will never obey you! You better kill me now. Because if you ever come to me again in such a way, you will wish you were dead. If you ever step in my way and do not allow me to leave, I will curse you for thousands of lifetimes. I know how to do it. I am Alexandra's daughter after all. Be careful of me!-there was so much rage in those words. And honesty. He believed her. She would really do it. She was ready for anything. He took a step towards her. There was some new desire in his heart. Some new challenge her words had provoked through in him. Yes. He will not get her back with violence and threats. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked right now. Rage suited her. He came even closer. She didn’t back away.

-I will enjoy winning you over, Eandil Shana. It will be the greatest challenge of all. You have my blood in your veins. You can't run from it. From me.-he reminded her. There were steps behind them. She recognized Einars scent coming toward them. She wasn’t sure how much they had heard from their discussion. She still held Araphels gaze. It was difficult to sense what he was thinking about.

-Eandil Shana, please step inside. It is too cold for you.-she heard him calling her. Probably worried about what Araphel will do next. She found herself shaking from the cold. As if waking up from her dream. The black eyes became lighter than before. She bowed her head and left him standing in the rain.