I went home from the mall and called my brother-in-law, Derek. His wife Jennifer and I are what they call "Irish twins," so we have always been close. Dad couldn't keep his hands to himself, and Jennifer appeared 11 months after I was born. I don't think mom has ever forgiven him for keeping her pregnant for almost 2 years.
"Man, I need your help. Do you have a dark suit I can borrow?"
"In what world is your toned, buff ass going to fit into one of my suits? What is going on with you. Mom called Jen worried."
"Mom is always worried. However, all of a sudden, I have a lot going on all at once, and I think she is afraid I won't be able to handle it all. Hell, I think I am afraid I won't be able to handle it all. You know how I get now when life gets complicated."
"OK, well, let's break i
