Despite trying to console herself with the idea that the warden’s form of domination could be worse, she could not dissociate from the fact that he was claiming a part of her. Was it just her body, or also her will—could his power extend that far? Was it foolish to think her survival could be a form of defiance? Or was she being passive? Should she do more to resist? Despair caressed her, eroded her confidence, and filled her with self-contempt.
The fear that she might become pregnant, that her body could betray her, haunted her every morning. Trying to separate her mind from it would not be enough. Though she did not want to linger on such a thought, something substantial happened every time Nabilak r***d her. There was coldness in the loss. She tried to convince herself that it was pref
