Pain and Choice

A step at a Time

"My name is Zeno." He extends his hand, and she quietly assesses him from head to toe. He sits up on the mattress and shakes his head, snapping out of his daydream as she slaps him. He is still in the cave, and progress appears to be slow.

It's almost as if they can't get to the point, but Zeno feels enthusiastic about what will happen next. He's hoping that one of them will figure out who attempted to defraud them. He knows that whoever is framing him will make the wrong move sooner or later.

He has lost his signature calm demeanour and is now trying to shift his entire focus more on his physical appearance. He is doing everything he can to remain calm. He'd wake up after a snooze and start working out vigorously. Ben would walk up to his gate and insert a tray or disposable food box. He would eat, drink, and then try to study, but the ruckus caused by Ben in the cave would force him to drop out. If he wasn't working out or eating, he'd pick up a conversation with Ben, usually about a book or what was going on with Hamilton and George. Ben's cave scheme is sometimes included in the so-called small conversation.

He hasn't seen George or Hamilton in a long time, which bothers him, but he understands they're looking for a better answer.

Staying here prevents him from seeing Viola, which irritates him the most. All he could think about was the last time he saw her, her smile, and nothing else. He thinks about her now, and all he can think about is making a move if and or when he can get back out on the street.

In the meantime, he wanted to be certain about what he would say to her. As he lay down, he imagined it for himself. He's not sure what her thing is, but he can see she's not good with strangers. Her public persona disturbs him; he imagines himself endeavoring to meet her in a million different ways, all of which fail. Perhaps he is merely overthinking or overly eager. After all, he has no idea when or even if he will leave this prison intact.

"Are you alright?" Ben asks as he wraps a rope around his shoulder and looks at him with concern. Zeno was impulsively exhaling and inhaling repeatedly.

"Can you assist if I say I'm inquisitive about someone?" Zeno approaches the gate, his gaze fixed on Ben. “Looking for a favor.”

"George is fine." Ben says, unable to think of another person Zeno would be interested in, but he drops the round of rope around his shoulder to the ground.

"Um," Zeno scoffs, realising what Ben is attempting to say to him. He never made everyone around him think of him as someone who had someone special. "I'm pleased he is," he says calmly, returning to a chair and taking it. "This is different," he says as he draws a stiff, narrow line between his lips.

"I suppose I have the right to inquire as to who the individual is." Ben approaches a chair and drags it all the way to the gate, where Zeno is imprisoned behind it.

"There's this..." he nods, wetting his bottom lip with obvious shame. "Um, she's not as fancy or as gregarious as those we know," he replies, chuckling and swallowing hard.

"Oh," Ben exhales slightly as he attempts to take in the information being fed to him. Zeno's expression changes as he tries to describe this person to Ben, and he is unsure where to begin.

Ben secretly intends to nurture his demeanour for himself, and Zeno isn't like the rest of them; that quiet individual who doesn't care about anyone while doing his job, looking good, and garnering the attention of all the girls. Ben realises that his own silence is a little too long as he tries to develop an impression of Zeno.

"Oh?" Zeno seemed perplexed.

"Oh, as in, you never strike me as a swan or a beaver... I'm not sure," Ben shrugs nonchalantly, pressing his lips down. "A monogamy, you know." He appears astonished, but the way he attempts to explain himself makes Zeno giggle.

"Well," he shakes his head, leaning his left hand on his knee, lifting his chest up as his right-hand presses against his thigh. He makes a point of telling Ben, "you didn't strike me as a profiler either," and then tilts his head to contemplate for a moment while smiling. "I'm not," Zeno says flatly, and a brief hush ensues. The cave has its own open space vibration caused by a modest and infrequent water-dropping sound that generates some bleeping sound.

They're both used to the smell of moist soil and the taste it leaves in their mouths whenever Ben attempts to demolish a portion of the cave to make room for his project. Ben enjoys putting his efforts to the test, whereas Zeno despises the idea that he can merely look and wait. Based on his scolding comments, it is clear that he is a do-it-yourselfer himself and enjoys seeing Ben work on his project. He's not used to sitting back and watching anything go on.

Ben can see Zeno's despair on his face; his thin lips' smile is slowly disappearing into melancholy emotion. His brown eyes darken with helplessness, and his muscular figure dips down, revealing his let down guard. His hands are gripped tightly together, and he nods carefully to what is going on around him. This is unusual for Ben; he has never been near enough to Zeno to know what is right and wrong, but this isn't the Zeno he is used to observing.

"You know, this is one of those moments when you suddenly feel a sting here," he remarks, pointing with his right index finger to his chest. I get what you're saying. You know, I never imagined myself in this situation either," he shrugs, finally speaking up about it. "I'm curious whether it's possible to love without even thinking about it. Simply said, I have no voice, no power, and, most importantly, no motivation. Or so it appears for the time being. Maybe one day I'll understand why I feel the way I do towards her." He glances into Ben's blue eyes, which are staring back at him.

It's impossible to remark on Ben's appearance because he's always dressed in something that hides it, and his black full beard covers it all. With his long thin neck and large Adam's fruit, anyone would dare to call him slender. It's difficult to tell if he's sad or joyful, but the only expression he'd show is dread; he'd arch his brow, his blue eyes buried behind his hooked snout, appearing larger. His too placid demeanour conceals his genuine goals and feelings at the same time. If anyone claimed to have seen Ben, it was only with Hamilton.

He is most devoted to Hamilton since he has always been there for him when things have been difficult. Hamilton met him while Ben was working as a substitute bartender in a bar. It was a late-night talk that helped them get along; Ben told Hamilton about his life, and Hamilton felt instantly connected. Ben's mother was doing her best to work two jobs she wasn't particularly good at, but she succumbed to an alcohol addiction. Hamilton wanted to help her in ways that would relieve him of his grief over his mother's death. The best rehabilitation was used to solve Ben's mother's problem. The first thing he did was assist his father in getting a job as a security guard at his father's company. It didn't take him long to warm up to Gregory, Hamilton's first move toward his father.

Many people in this circle are aware of how difficult it is to get to Hamilton, past Ben, Zeno, and George. Ben was taken aback when he learnt about Zeno and the circumstances he had put himself in. Even if he had a say in the matter, he opted to remain silent, as is his custom. He is perplexed by Zeno's behaviour; he is not known for being a softie, but rather a ripper.

"This," Ben adds, pausing to consider before speaking up. "Is she in any type of trouble?" he inquires.

"I'm in trouble because I can't see her," Zeno adds, his brow furrowed as he puzzledly looks at Ben. He's trying to figure out Ben's menacing glare with a touch of deadpan expression.

"I'm sorry," Ben replies abruptly, placing his elbows on his knees and approaching Zeno. "I'm striving to figure out where the favor comes in," he says quietly, expressing his willingness to assist.

Zeno pursed his lips in a forced smile. "She had no idea I was with her. I, um," he mulls over his words, gazing down. "I don't think I need to beat around the bush, so, sure," he furiously nods as he collects the strength to look up at Ben. "I follow her around to observe what she does during the day." Ben raises his brows modestly in astonishment. "I know it's strange," Ben chuckles, clearing his throat as he nods.

"So, you're hoping I'll stalk her back for you?" he inquires.

"No. No," Zeno shakes his head and stands up from his seat and walks closer to the gate as he stares down at Ben, who is trying to obtain an explanation. "I just want you to tell me how she's doing." Zeno shrugs and walks backward to his chair, which he takes. "Look," he exhales, attempting to begin the explanation. He thinks about it. "You see, it's easy to tell her apart from her sister. She is always the cook, very serious, and she never leaves the bus. She's simple and beautiful." As he thinks about her, he smiles to himself. It's obvious that he has feelings for her.

"You want me to simply check on this girl?" Ben inquires, and Zeno responds with a nod. "Where?"

"The Sister's Bus," he clarifies, "in front of the hotel."

"So, you want me to check on the cook, who is serious?" Zeno nods weirdly, his eyes squinting as he ponders it. "You want to know how she is, via me," Ben explains, pressing his chest. "And I assume you want me to be discreet about it. In any case, stalk her."

They both stay neutral for a bit as they analyze it. "f**k it's weird," Zeno says, agreeing with the scenario he expects from Ben.

"It is," Ben nods as he keeps his gaze on Zeno, who is frustrated. "You know, you should get a sanity check after all this is over," he adds as he stands up. "Anyway, even if it's weird, it’s not impossible. I can even sneak some pictures, so you don’t ask me to do this frequently," he adds, and Zeno springs up off his chair.

He never considers sneaking a photograph, and having her face closer to him would benefit him greatly, especially at this difficult time.

"Oh my God, that would be the most incredible thing you could do for me." As he watches Ben exit the cave, he brushes his hair back with his fingers. "Thank you," he says as he fades away completely. "Yes," he responds, his fist clenched in delight. I am enjoying the momentary celebration.