God knows! She presumed that we will never believe her so she kept everything to herself. She suffered in silence, in dark, all alone. She experienced sleep paralysis. She mentioned in her journals what she sensed, she could feel being called by Mariyam ji to feed the baby and she wanted to get up, she tried to get up but she couldn’t. She didn’t have the control of her body. She felt like her body was paralyzed or some force was holding her tight making her unable to move and she laid there watching her crying in hunger. She couldn’t do anything and since then she feared sleeping because she was afraid of getting the sleep paralysis again. But that was not it.
She was also hallucinating things like she believed that she saw somebody in the bathroom or somebody had left the tap running an
