Scars of Time

Chapter 67: "Revealing hearts"

Jo's POV

Receiving a strange message from Alex, I found myself utterly confused. "Hope found out. Time went crazy." It was like trying to solve a riddle without any clues. In an attempt to shed light on his cryptic words, I decided to give him a call. However, to my disappointment, there was no response.

I ate dinner before taking a shower and preparing for a night of sleep that offered no solace. I simply couldn't keep my mind off of that message. I tried to call Time multiple times but he didn't answer as well. I guess his phone was switched off.

Restless and unable to find solace in sleep, I tossed and turned in my bed. With each passing minute, I anxiously checked my phone, hoping for a reply from either of them. Alas, there was none. As desperation set in, I even contemplated reaching out to Hope, but it was too late to disturb her. She must be asleep.

As I was casually scrolling through my contacts, a sudden and unexpected knock on the door jolted me out of my reverie. It wasn't just an ordinary knock, but rather a loud bang that echoed through the hallway. My mind immediately raced with possibilities. Could it be Time? After all, Alex did mention that he was mad about something. With cautious anticipation, I rose from my seat and slowly made my way towards the door, my eyes fixated on the peephole.

"It's Time. Open up," his voice echoed from the other side, prompting me to swiftly unlock the door.

Are you okay? Where have you been? Do you know how worried I was? I wanted to ask so many questions but he looked like he didn't have the energy to answer any of it.

With a tinge of regret, he softly inquired, "Can I spend the night at your place?" His swollen eyes and weary appearance made me wonder if he had cried. Understanding that it would be pointless to press him further, I gently took hold of his hand and led him inside. Suddenly, my attention was drawn to his hand, which was covered with cuts. Our eyes met, and he could tell that I had seen it too but as I mentioned before, I was not going to ask any questions. But I'm more than happy to lend an ear if he feels like sharing.

Guiding him towards the couch, I swiftly retrieved my first aid kit and silently began attending to his wound. It was clear that he had been in a fight. As I focused on his injury, we both remained quiet, and it seemed like eventually he grew impatient of it. He finally decided to speak up, asking, "Aren't you going to ask me anything?"

With a hint of skepticism, I probed, "Do you have a good explanation?" His only response was a disapproving shake of the head, as I expected.

Yet, a tinge of concern washed over me as he uttered those unsettling words, "I had the urge to inflict pain on someone today." he confessed, his words laced with a chilling sincerity. Yet, amidst his confession, I couldn't shake off the feeling that he was deliberately trying to elicit a reaction from me. It was as if he was silently warning me to distance myself from his life, while there was still a chance.

"So? Are you feeling better now?" I simply asked, which caught him off guard. Instead of responding, he kept his gaze fixed on me while I skillfully wrapped a bandage around his injured hand.

"You can sleep in my room. I'm going to be here if you need anything."

"Are you scared that I might do something to you as well?" The sorrowful expression he wore while looking at me tore at my heart and I silently wished he would just be honest with me.

"Why would I be scared? I'm positive that whatever occurred, those people must have had it coming."

"I was the one who started the fight."

"Okay."

"The other guy is in the hospital now."

"Time, I'm not going to be scared of you. So don't try to change my mind. I'm your girlfriend and I am one hundred percent certain that you are not going to hurt me."

"What if I do?"

"You know what? I don't think you really know me as well as I know you! Do you honestly believe I haven't already figured out what kind of person you are? You're cold, defensive, and prone to quick bursts of anger that harm those around you. You've already hurt me before, it's nothing new to me. What makes you believe that I would leave you now?"

"You're mistaken. I actually do know you. It's just that you've forgotten who you are because of me."

With a slight shake of my head, I tenderly placed my hand on his cheek, conveying my thoughts without having to say a single word.

"Well, You know what they say, love has a way of changing people. It pushes you to do things you never imagined doing."

The disbelief in his eyes was palpable, and tears began to gather, threatening to spill over. Acting on instinct, I enveloped him in a comforting hug, allowing him to release his pent-up emotions. Although he didn't utter a word about what had transpired, I knew deep down that he yearned for someone to be there for him in that moment.

Softly, I murmured, "I'm in love with you Time. There's no denying it any longer." With a sigh of relief, I finally uttered the words that I had been hesitant to admit, even to myself. Yes, I'm in love with him. And now, I don't need to come up with any more excuses to explain why I want to be with him all the time. This is all the excuse I need.

...................

Time's POV

I had always believed that I would be the one to express my love for her first. I was so certain that I wouldn't receive the same response that I tried my best to convince myself that it didn't matter. It wasn't necessary for her to say it, as long as she remained by my side. But she beat me to it! She said those three words first. And I was the one who couldn't say them back! She said that love has the ability to change people, and I believe it to be true. But love is supposed to change us for the better, not for the worse. If what we are experiencing is truly love, then it's wrong.

Just like she said, I've hurt her in the past. More than once, actually.

I robbed her of her innocent love. I held her captive, against her wishes. I imposed my unwanted kisses upon her, ignoring her protests. A lingering mark on her wrist serves as a painful reminder of my jealousy when she mentioned Ian. Yet she is still willing to forgove me! Is that really what love is supposed to do to you!

Gently, she drew back and tenderly brushed away my tears, leading me towards her bedroom. With the utmost care, she tucked me in, just like a child, and settled herself beside me, resting her head on my chest.

With a gentle whisper, she pleaded, "Promisse me you're going to be alright" as I struggled to break free from her hold. "I understand that you're in so much pain at the moment, but you'll be okay one day, won't you?"

I didn't have an answer for her. Will I ever be okay?! I find myself wondering about that sometimes too.

I can't help but ponder about the path I might have taken if I had stayed in the orphanage. Perhaps I would have grown up to be as compassionate as Alex.

However, this is who I am now. I can't change the fact that I have been through what I have been through. And I can't change the fact that I have hurt who I have hurt.

I could say I did it all for Hope, but that would be a lie. Everything that I ever did was for myself.

I hid Evan Astor because I was selfish. I wanted her to think of me as a hero. When in truth I was nothing less than a coward.

I was scared of him.

I wanted to be like him.

I hated him.

Perhaps he has indeed accomplished his mission with me. He sought a successor, but not one as weak as I once was. He wanted someone who could confidently hold the knife and mercilessly drive it into his heart without hesitation. Someone who would not collapse on the ground and simply stand as a witness to his sister's torment.

Driven by his twisted desires, he yearned to pass on his legacy to me, knowing well that his ultimate downfall would surely be by my very own hand. So the day I finally accomplish it will be the day he wins.

That's precisely why he left everything to me in his will. Not Hope. Not Ian. Me.

Had he not been so wicked, he would have left with nothing in our hands. But we would be free.

And now that he is back, the first person he went to was not Hope, it was Jo. He knows that Hope has someone else looking out for her now, just as he knows I have another weakness.

Regardless of what the doctors may claim, I possess an unwavering certainty that his memory remains unscathed. I know him better than anyone else, and I firmly believe that he is still the same person he has always been.

So, to answer her question; how can I ever be okay in this lifetime, when I am Evan Astors son? Perhaps in a different existence, under a different name, I can finally become the person I've always wanted to be. But not here and not now. Because in this one, I am Time Astor, and I am meant to go down with my beloved father.