Scars of Time

Chapter 14: "Never enough"

Hope's POV

As I slowly opened my eyes, I became aware of the door swinging open and Alex making his way outside. Negative thoughts started floating in my head again. As always, darkness ruled around me.

I tried to keep my eyes shut and pretend I didn't hear him but I soon realized that no amount of pretending could shield me from the profound sadness that engulfed me. I know it's my fault that I fell for him when I knew he had a girlfriend, but that's who I am.

Shameless.

I know he went to her and it's the middle of the night. I wish he showed me the same level of care and affection.

The only person who cares about me in this world is Time.

But that's not enough.

It's never enough.

There is a hole in my soul that I cannot seem to fullfill. Black clouds above my head follow me everywhere. Those clouds surround everyone who tries to reach for me. But I still hold their hand. I drag them inside and never let go.

Taking a deep breath, I finally tore myself away from the couch and embarked on the short walk towards my car.

Small drops of rain fell on my face as I looked up at the sky.

Fall is coming. That means it's going to rain more often from now on.

I looked around me and the streets were totally empty. It seems that everyone has found their way back to where they belong. The places where they find solace, shielding themselves from the dangers of this world.

But where is mine?

Where is that place for me?

With Time?

With Alex?

Maybe I should really start accepting the fact that I never belonged here. Everyone is constantly trying to tell me that, but I am still, stubbornly, fighting against it.

I started shivering as the thin fabric of my shirt was starting to stick to my body.

Why is it so wrong for me to want things that everybody seems to have?

Why do I always have to be jealous of people?

Why can't I just be one of them?!!

The rain started pouring harder, and unlike Time, I find solace in it. While it brings back memories of Father for both of us, it also serves me as a reminder of all those rainy days I spent longing to run outside but couldn't.

Time hates rain because he knows that the pain is going to stop the second the rain does. On the contrary, I discovered that the pain clung to me relentlessly, even in the presence of the sun's most radiant rays.

This is exactly why I don't hate it as much as he does. In fact, I perceive it as my companion. Its rhythmic cadence upon my skin serves as a soothing balm, washing away the remnants of transgressions and offering solace to my weary soul.

It brings me tranquility.

...............

Time's POV

Startled by the thunder's roar, I found myself wide awake with my heart pounding in my chest.

I had the same dream again. The one about that little girl. I can't help but wonder why I started dreaming about her all of a sudden!

I had forgotten all about her as I was so young back then. Even if I were to come across her today, I wouldn't be able to recognise her.

But these dreams made me wonder what she would look like right now? What kind of life has she led? Despite being so young, I had an undeniable crush on her. Sometimes there are moments when I long for the innocence and simplicity of my past self. It was not long after that, we got adopted. And I was never the same.

I'm still convinced that, no matter how childish it was, she will always hold the title of my first love. Because no one has managed to ignite that same spark within me ever since. Circumstances never allowed me to.

At least not until now.

Because the day I met Jo, I became that little Time again. I started blushing whenever I saw her and wanted to give her toys.

Perhaps that's the explanation for those dreams I've been having about her. Jo just triggers that same emotion within me.

But as much as my feelings for her resemble those of a little child, I still can't ignore the fact that I'm the grown up Time. And let's face it, innocence is not a label that fits me anymore.

Casting my gaze outside the window, I observed the unyielding rain, persisting without pause. I grabbed my phone and quickly scrolled through my contacts, searching for Hope's name. She had mentioned that she wouldn't be home tonight, but I still needed to make sure she was okay.

But as soon as I made the call, she immediately disconnected, causing me to become anxious. This implies that she is not sleeping. Then why would she abruptly end the call?

Suddenly, the sound of the door opening caught my attention, and without a second thought, I sprinted towards her.

"Hope? Are you okay?? What happened?"

"I'm okay Time. Go back to sleep. I'll take a shower and sleep too."

"Did Alex do something to you? You said you were going to stay over."

"He didn't do anything. I just wanted to come home."

"You didn't bring an umbrella again?" My last question hung in the air, unanswered, as she silently retreated to her room.

It's hard to point fingers at Alex since we both managed to shatter his life within a mere day, but I truly wish he didn't do anything to hurt her. Because even though she looks tough, I know how fragile she is.

And It seems like this time, she genuinely has feelings for him.