Scars of Time

Chapter 15: "One last thing"

Jo's POV

I was in his arms. For the last time ever. And I didn't want to let go.

I buried my face in his chest as we were both sobbing in the darkness at the front of the park. This park that brings joy for a lot of kids, is going to be the place I hate most in this world. This is the park where I'm going to leave the purest love I have ever experienced, and the purest I probably ever will.

I'm going to leave this place today, knowing that no one is ever going to love me as he did.

At that moment, I wanted to change my mind and forget everything.

But will we be able to go back to how everything was? Every time we will touch each other, we are going to feel the presence of someone else there.

As we start fighting over the smallest things and get tired of each other.

Being paranoid that maybe one of us is not being truthful.

Then one day love will be gone.

As we look at each others eyes empty of emotions, one of us is finally going to say the words.

I don't want to ever look at Alex and feel empty. In the depths of my heart, he will forever reside, occupying a special corner as the person for whom I would wholeheartedly wish the world for. However, that world is not going to have me in it.

I wiped away my tears, as I looked at his red, imploring eyes, silently begging me not to leave without uttering a single word.

The weight of sorrow bore down on me as I took a step forward, knowing that what I was about to do would feel like a sword piercing through my heart and into his. I leaned in and kissed him, as I wanted to have one last thing while I was throwing everything else away.

Then I let go of his hand, leaving him behind alone in the dark, on his knees, mourning for the love we had just buried.

I always thought that actors in movies were simply overreacting during the breakup scenes. I couldn't understand how it was so hard to leave someone you just met a while ago?! You were living without him just fine before.

Yet now, as I find myself clutching my chest, unable to catch my breath, I realize that this man had become my whole world without realising. Now as that world crumbles, I am left suffocating on my way around the galaxy, trying to find another one to call my own, wondering if it's ever going to be as safe.

However, I have no other choice than to start building it from scratch.

.............

Alex's POV

As she pressed her lips over mine, a tear found its way down my cheek. I tenderly ran my hand through her hair, desperately trying to hold onto the fleeting embrace while she tightly grasped onto my shirt.

I still had a ton of things I wanted to do with her. We never found the time for that roadtrip we were planning. We didn't get to go on a parachute to take those photos she had saved on her phone. Everything is left in half....I am left in half.

My love for her still burns in my chest as deep as I've ever felt before.

Our conversations were always filled with unwavering certainty, believing that our bond would last for eternity, but we forgot the fact that this world was so cruel.

"I'm sorry." I said as our lips parted. "I cannot forget you."

She formed a smile under all her tears and wiped mine.

"Goodbye my first love."

I realised she was forever going to stay as a wound in my heart, the moment she started walking away. And even though I raised my hand, she was too far away from my reach. I didn't have the right to hold her. In that instant, an overwhelming urge to weep consumed me, as if the heavens could hear my pain. Whom should I hold accountable, when the blame rests solely on my shoulders? My heart now lies broken, irreparable, and this emptiness will forever remain.

As I clasp the ring tightly in my palm, a wave of thoughts flood my mind. How can I continue living with only the memories of her? How do I manage to only keep her within the confines of my heart and thoughts, when I actually want to hold her and kiss her, now more than ever.

Why must everything come to an end?

She was the first one who woke feelings inside me. Alex before her was only a shell of a human. He was someone who was always taken advantage of.

In the depths of my middle school memories, there's a particular moment that I remember vividly. It was when a group of kids, seemingly out of nowhere, started hanging out with me because I was always alone. However, as soon as our exams concluded, these newfound companions vanished into thin air. It was then that I realized their intentions were solely driven by their need for my tutoring services, which I often provided in exchange for a little pocket money.

In a world where acceptance seemed scarce, Jo stood out as the only one who truly embraced me for who I am. With all my imperfections.

And I ruined it all.