Blue And Grey

The Burden

If at this time there is an earthquake that makes the ground split open, so that she falls into it ... Then that's what will happen to Ji An.

She was sure she heard the wrong thing. It can't be true. Looks like she forgot to clean her ears with a cotton bud this morning.

Ji An turned to her left, glared at Han Sung who was sitting still, waiting for the boy to say 'Surprise !! April mop!' with his nosy face.

"Ji An..."

She did not immediately turn to the voice that was calling. She noticed the stiff expression on Han Sung's face, Kim Yoo Goon's face who was still smiling kindly at her, then finally to her dad and mom who were staring sadly.

Does her face look sad too? Does Ji An look fragile right now? Not. She was devastated ... and angry.

"I thought you will leaving after graduation?" Ji An couldn't help but the sharp tone of her voice. "It's only been half the semester of our second year—"

"I think it would be better to go sooner, to adapt."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"I'm not. Why am I kidding while there is a chance to go sooner." Han Sung clenched his jaw, still refuse to look at Ji An.

"Are you feel that happy to be getting out of here? You just decided—"

"Ji An," her dad cut in. "It was Han Sung's decision. His uncle had offered him two days earlier. If he wants to study in a big city, of course it is best to adapt now rather than later."

"I'm sorry, Miss Ji An. I know you will lose your best friend. But of course, you two can still communicate even though it's far away. We won't go right away. We still have files to take care of for Han Sung's move."

Ji An could see the sad smile on Kim Yoo Goon's face. The man looked awkwardly at Ji An's parents. It seemed like she had made the atmosphere uncomfortable by exaggerating this matter.

"Please continue the conversation. I have to finish my homework which has piled up," Ji An immediately stood up, gave a short bow, and left the living room.

When she got to her room, she threw her bag irritably at the cupboard. The bag fell to the floor with a loud 'DUGG' sound that might be heard downstairs.

Ji An fell on the bed, screaming as loud as possible with the pillow covering her face.

"f*****g Brat Kim Han Sung!!! If you really want to go that soon, you shouldn't come here since the beginning!!!!"

Her scream turned into tears. Ji An had promised not to cry over Han Sung anymore, but she broke her own promise.

Again, she wept for the same person.

♡♡♡

The clock on the bedside table read 7 PM. Ji An stared at the book blankly, her hand that was holding the pen was frozen until she didn't realize the pen had slipped from her finger.

Daydreaming again. That's what she's been doing these two days. She tries to keep herself busy in addition to the bakery shop, as well as doing her homework while at home. But again, her mind flew somewhere.

There was a knock on the door. Ji An gets on her mind but doesn't move. She took her pen, pretending to be doing homework when the door to her room opened.

"Are you still busy?" The voice sounded soft, as if afraid would make Ji An who was concentrating would get angry.

"Why?" She didn't turn around.

"I will go now."

This is the day Han Sung will leave. Leave this town. Leave her.

"Go then. Be careful."

Ji An didn't know what else to say. She didn't write, instead scribbles on her book like writing something. She also had to try hard not to cry.

Han Sung who was in the doorway didn't make a sound. Not long after, the boy approached her.

['Oh, he will see I'm pretending.']

Ji An quickly closed the book. Tidying up everything on the table, moved away from Han Sung, but what the boy did make her freeze.

Han Sung pulled her arms gently, and he hugged Ji An's tiny body tightly.

"I'm sorry," He muttered softly. He rubbed his face into Ji An's hair near her left ear. "Please, don't hate me."

Tears welled up in Ji An's eyes, threatening to drop. And when her tears fell, Han Sung kissed her cheek where the tears were flowing. Almost near the corner of her lips!

If only the time could stop ...

"I'm leaving ... Don't miss me, Bae." He said it with his deep soothing voice.

Han Sung let go of his hug and closed the door after leaving. The boy didn't give Ji An a chance to say anything.

Ji An cry over the boy who asks not to be miss. But she already missed that person since the warm hug earlier. She will always miss that person, who knows how long.

♡♡♡

Yeon Hee stuck the spoon over the warm rice. She is not eager to eat, not if there is a girl like Frankenstein in front of her who doesn't even touch the lunch she has brought.

"Hey, eat it."

Ji An didn't answer. Yeon Hee sighed and was about to start eating again when her gaze turned to Ji An's vibrating cell phone beside the lunch tray. The caller's name was visible to her. That's Min Gi Hoon's call.

Yeon Hee looked at Ji An who was still unmoved. She sighed again, cupped her hands on Ji An's cheeks, then she patted her hard on both cheeks.

"Aww !! What the hell?" Ji An said irritably, rubbing her cheek.

"Are you back from Pluto?" Yeon Hee clicked her tongue. "Your phone is ringing."

Ji An turned her gaze to the cellphone, after seeing the missed call's name on the screen, she just kept the phone in her blazer pocket.

"Didn't call him back?" asked Yeon Hee.

"No need," Ji An answered casually.

"Did you two fight?"

"Not."

"Then?"

The girl didn't answer, but returned to daydreaming. It's been a week and the girl in front of Yeon Hee has been daydreaming ever since the viral news of Gi Hoon's identity was revealed and also Han Sung's move. She didn't even heed Gi Hoon's phone calls during that time either.

The other DS members once gave a cellphone to Ji An, saying that Gi Hoon wanted to talk to the girl. But Ji An only answered briefly and the phone conversation was over in less than a minute.

Ji An said they weren't fighting, but judging by the girl's attitude now ... it seemed Ji An was avoiding Min Gi Hoon.

Is it because of the press conference that Gi Hoon's company recently held, where a journalist — who was already investigating the school and students who known Gi Hoon — asked that it was true that the music producer had a girlfriend?

Topics like this never get old in the world of entertainment. And Gi Hoon's company said that dating is not true ... How could it not be true if the girl in front of Yeon Hee was actually Gi Hoon's girlfriend.

The boy is too ambitious to protect the hearts of his fans rather than to protect the hearts of his girlfriend. Yeon Hee wonders why Ji An wants to date Gi Hoon. What is this girl thinking? Running away from the fact that Han Sung rejected her?

Oh, that's right. Kim Han Sung. It could be that the cause of Ji An's gloom is also because of that i***t's sudden departure. DS members who attended class — except Gi Hoon — were shocked when they heard Han Sung's decision to move to a big city.

Yeon Hee was also surprised, she knew Han Sung would continue to culinary school outside the city after graduation. But she didn't think that the boy would leave this quickly.

The boy said because he didn't want to waste the opportunity his uncle offered him. Yeon Hee hesitated, maybe that was just one of Han Sung's reasons for leaving.

She firmly believed that the boy might not bear to see Ji An and Gi Hoon together around him. Yeon Hee had several times caught Han Sung's sad look at Ji An and also the boy's weird attitude who always avoided them whenever Yeon Hee, Ji An and DS got together.

Has the boy realized that it is too late for him? Does he felt regret? Only Han Sung knows the answer.

♡♡♡

Ji An stared blankly at her English notebook. She spent these two weeks just silent and daydreaming in class as well as at home.

She had become a completely different person in this short amount of time. Every time she looked in the mirror, she only saw a Lee Ji An who never smiled again.

Mrs. Min was explaining something upfront when her class was interrupted by the sound of the classroom door opening. This distracted Ji An's daydream as well, because the students muttered excitedly.

Min Gi Hoon gave a short bow and explained the reason for his late to Mrs. Min, who accepted and allowed the boy to sit down.

Ji An and Gi Hoon's eyes met, and it made the boy's steps slow down because he realized that Ji An's position had returned to her original seat, not next to his seat anymore.

Ji An lowered her head and returned to focus on the notebook — or rather, returned to daydreaming.

When it's time for recess, Ji An stepped into the music room, she had no desire to go to the cafeteria. Besides, there must be Gi Hoon and DS there. Also the impromptu fans.

She had just opened the sliding door to the music room when someone pushed her shoulders from behind and closed the door.

Ji An gave a small gasp, turned around to scold the person, but instead she was greeted by a tight hug from Gi Hoon.

"I miss you."

Oh my... If only these words had spoken before all the incidents that happened to Ji An, maybe she would have had a blush on her cheeks. But that didn't happen.

"Let go of me," Ji An said softly.

"Do you mad with me?" Gi Hoon didn't let go of his embrace. "I'm sorry. The company asked me not to reveal our relationship. I initially protested, because previously I had agreed to my identity which was accidentally revealed by the new staff. And when I didn't want to cover up my relationship too, the company asked me to consider your privacy as well. You can... Uhm ... call it fans, they can attack you if they don't like the news. I don't want anything to happen to you. So, I have to agree that on the screen I'm not in a relationship... "

Ji An closed her eyes for a moment while Gi Hoon explained the situation. She had this thought that Gi Hoon wants to continue this relationship with her but it's in secret.

This was too much of a burden on Ji An. She was still saddened by Han Sung's departure, then added to the warning from Yoongi's fans a week ago who intercepted her while she was in the school toilet. It's too much.

Ji An has to say it. She had deliberately not spoken on the phone, she was waiting until they meet directly. And now this is the chance.

"Let's just break up."

-------♡

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- Autumn Notes