Dera.
I was lying on my back, staring at the ceiling fan. It was spinning lazily, just like my brain. No matter how many times I tried to close my eyes and rest, I couldn't. The room was quiet, but the silence made the noise in my head louder.
My phone buzzed beside me. I didn't want to check it, but I did anyway. Third message from one of the guys I had cancelled on today. He was polite about it, saying maybe another time. The other two didn't bother replying. One had blocked me. Another had sent a thumbs up emoji like he was dismissing me.
I sighed.
Three dates. Three times I said yes and then went to "sorry" a few hours before meeting up. That had to be a new record. I didn't even have an excuse anymore. I was just tired of pretending, tired of all this.
I was not ready. I didn't w
