The Placeholder

Chapter 13

It is blatantly obvious that most of my guests had attended the wedding simply to be included in the after party.

Isadonna and Ryker's ballroom is cramped with people chatting and drinking voraciously.

I'm uncomfortable around the presence of exessive alcohol. To me, it is romanticized poison.

"You don't look very happy, Princess."

Harriet-Makeba and I turn at one-hundred and eighty degrees. Stefan stumbles over to us, trying hard to remain upright.

He giggles as he stumbles into my guard, whose glare would bring death to the young Prince if it could.

"Watch it."

"You need to brighten up. The both of you."

I am queasy as a drunk couple laughs. They attempt to dance in the center of the room, tripping over each other's feet and gazing into their glazed eyes. A man in the corner is chugging a beer, then burps obnoxiously.

I wish I could say the people of Verduschkir have better manners. But in the case of partying, they don't.

Even in his intoxicated stupor, Stefan senses my dismay.

"Don't be scared, Little Rose, my brother is quite the catch, believe me."

He completely misinterprets the source of my unease, but I don't have the energy to discuss that with one who contributes to the issue.

"You are welcome to retire for the night, Ginger," Harriet-Makeba cuts in. "If anything, I would rather you do decide to leave, so that I have an excuse not to be here."

Stefan jerks forward, grasping her shoulder to steady himself. To my surprise, she let's him without complaint.

"You can't leave now," the Prince out cries. "The night has only just begun! Besides, you haven't even spent time with your husband yet. Don't you want him to show you the bed chamber you will share?"

Nausea takes hold of my stomach and wrings it mercilessly.

"Mind your own buisness," I snap nervously.

In my peripheral vision, a man in a grey suit watches. I curse silently as Nathaniel blends back into the crowd before I can confirm he had been eavesdropping.

The bedroom I am supposed to share with my husband has already been prepared and decorated. Nathaniel and I had discussed our views on the subject, and it has been decided that we are not ready to share a bed. Far from ready, to be exact.

I am glad that Nathaniel is following his word on not pressuring me. I'm not sure how I would handle myself if he was pushy. I would have to push back, and that could only result in something awful.

Harriet-Makeba tugs me through the crowd, away from Stefan—who is trying to convince her to dance with him.

"I'd rather jump off a cliff," She mutters under her breath.

The two of us nearly make our escape, until Isadonna and her sister stop us dead in our tracks.

"Rhoswen! Just the lady I've been meaning to see!"

The Queen is not nearly as intoxicated as her son, but she is still tipsy. I notice that Tanora has on the dress she said she wouldn't be wearing today. It is quite casual and effortless. Isadonna, however, had outdone herself—all gold and silver. Heavy makeup and an almost painful amount of jewels around her neck and wrists. Diamond studded earings glimmer like stars. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say Tanora had intentionally lied to urge her sister into going overboard, in order to top Tanora—and everyone else—in looks.

"How may I help you, Isadonna?" I ask politely.

"I actually wanted to ask you about the wedding."

I hesitate. "What about it?"

Isadonna widens her eyes and blinks rapidly. "Well, did you like it? Was everything arranged to your satisfaction?"

Some of the edge rolls off my shoulders.

"Yes, of course," I say as I feel a certain expectancy gripping Bardulm's Queen right before my eyes. "Everyone who contributed is absolutely talented and knowledgeable. I am thoroughly impressed."

The Queen beams at me.

"Thank you for the compliment, darling. You see, I helped order the flowers and invited all the guests."

I nod my head sympathetically. "That must have been very time consuming. I'm so grateful you had the patience to organize all of this for me."

Isadonna blushes a deep crimson. She touches my hand. "Anything for family," She says earnestly.

Behind her, Tanora snorts loudly. "Oh, please."

Isadonna sticks her nose up, unabashed. "Tanora, now is not the time for bitterness. Your jealousy is showing."

Harriet-Makeba takes a sip of her juice box (Evidently not caring how out of place it may seem) and mutely allows the possibility of another sibling rivalry to run its course. We are lucky when Tanora doesn't take the bait.

"You are absolutely right, Donna, I am thoroughly envious."

My guard snorts by mistake. She covers her choked laughter by coughing. She pretends to pound on her chest, as if her juice had gone down the wrong path.

Tanora slinks off as a new, upbeat song begins with a jolly trumpet solo.

Isadonna looks apologetic. "Ignore her mockery," She attempts to soothe me. "For many people, cranky attitude comes with age. I refuse to become like that."

I don't have the heart to inform her of who Tanora was actually making fun of.

Isadonna turns to my personal guard. "Harriet, my dear, how are you?"

"I'm doing well, your Highness. And you?"

"I'm doing splendid." She winks at me. "Glad that my eldest son is finally married. I've waited his whole life for this day."

I'm sure you have, I think to myself snidly.

"It's certainly an important-

day," Harriet-Makeba agrees. "We have established a non-violent country from now on. Peace is restored."

Isadonna pats Harriet-Makeba on the back.

"For us," She presses with a disturbing, robotic tone.

I squint suspiciously. Is the Queen trying to drop us a hint? Or does she simply mean that war is an everlong problem? Many parts of the world surely are battling as we speak, but I'm not entirely convinced Isadonna doesn't know of her husband's affairs. Is he starting war elsewhere?

Who cares? It's not your buisness.

It will be soon enough.

I frown. I already plan to snoop around at some point. Maybe I can learn of Ryker's daily responsibilities; see if any pieces of land have caught his eye. Finding a map to navigate Timmy's village is my top priority, though. I need directions more specific than just traveling North.

Isadonna isn't letting my guard and I off her social hook yet.

"How is your college application, Harriet?"

A flicker of surprise crosses my face. I know Harriet-Makeba wants to become a firefighter. But the wistful tone In her voice when we had met, and she had told me of her career goals, suggested that her plan would have to wait awhile.

"It's still processing," She replies evenly. "If I am accepted, I will have to do a medical examination, a written test, and then a physical test as well."

"Oh dear, that is a lot of work." The Queen comments.

I nod my head in agreement.

Harriet-Makeba shrugs. "In the end, it will be worth it."

"Didn't you say your mother is a firefighter too?"

Her eyebrow raises delicately, as if she hadn't expected me to remember a single fact about her.

"Yes. So is my uncle on her side. My father had a different calling. He prefered to study medicine."

"Harriet's father does so much for the community," Isadonna boasts. "He is one of Bardulm's best doctors."

"He treats those who cannot afford the medical bills for free," my guard informs lightly, though her voice is heavily laced with pride.

I admire my guard and her family for taking on the toughest jobs, and her father for showing compassion to those in need. Yet, I can't help but ponder why the richest family in Bardulm isn't looking after their own people, so that people like Harriet-Makeba's father wouldn't have to take a royal's responsibility and promise into their own hands.

Isadonna departs soon after. "It's part of a King and Queen's role to greet every guest personally," She hints before she leaves. My mother had told me the same thing once,. and I've seen her in action.

"It wouldn't hurt to introduce yourself, Rhoswen. Soon, you will have to present our citizens with your character."

That is a point my mother and Isadonna would disagree on. My mother prefers me to follow a grand entrance approach. Make them wait and guess to build the hyped tension. Don't reveal yourself all at once. Surprise them, so they'll be more impressed.

Harriet-Makeba yanks on my arm. "Unless you have changed your mind, I suggest we leave before the princes stumble there way over to us."

I follow her gaze and am thankful that Stefan is the only one causing the stumble. His arm is limply draped over his older brother's shoulder. Nathaniel is half-dragging Stefan past curious onlookers. They are amused, Nathaniel is not.

"To the girls!" Stefan hollers. His face is flushed.

"I can already smell the wine," I comment, repulsed. I spin on my heel with my guard in tow. "Let's go to the library."

**********************

"You're a lot more relaxed now that we're away from the party," I observe casually. Harriet-Makeba swings her arms loosely as she walks. With cutting precision, she tosses her empty juice box into a metal trash bin as we enter the library. The scent of old books and the promising sound of silence is a welcome adjustment from the buzz of conversation and intoxication hanging over the ballroom.

I tap my fingers against one of the round tables. "Social anxiety?" I probe.

Harriet-Makeba snorts dryly as she pulls the same book she had been reading the last time. The sleeve had been used as a bookmark. It appears no one else had touched it since.

"Hardly." She wags a teasingly accusatory finger at me. "Besides, I could assume the same thing about you. You're not exactly acting like a people-person—a social butterfly."

My fingers cease their tapping abruptly.

"I don't like alcohol."

"I've noticed."

My own hesitation to elaborate disturbs me. "My grandmother was an alcoholic."

Harriet-Makeba places her book down. Her eyes flicker attentively. "Was, as in she passed away or recovered?"

"Passed away."

My guard rakes her teeth over her bottom lip. "My condolences to you and your family."

"She died when I was five, I hardly remember her." Aside from inebriated tears and whisky vomit.

I slip into a chair with wheels, rolling myself closer to the table top. "My parents told me she had began her binge drinking after the war. My mom thought she felt guilty being married to the callous man causing the bloodshed. She couldn't handle all of the murdered people, so she chased away her sobriety until she drank herself to death."

Harriet-Makeba's eyes flood with empathy. "I'm sorry. That's a tragic event that shouldn't have had to happen."

"The war in general shouldn't have happened," I say, somber.

Harriet-Makeba tucks a thin braid behind her ear. "Too right," She mumbles.

The two of us sit in grave silence for a long time.

"My grandfather fought in the war."

I turn in my seat, apprehensive. "Your grandfather's a solder?"

Harriet-Makeba gives me a knowing look. "Was."

I close my eyes briefly. "Sorry."

"It's alright. My family and I learned to move on, though he will never be forgotten."

Some will never move on, and it had been my blood that began the war in the first place.

"Grandfather had survived the war and he had not been an accused perpetrator during the Blood Trials."

My eyes bug out incredulously. "He survived both?"

My guard's pride opens the curtain in her dark, ever changing irises. "He did," She bemuses. Then, her expression darkens. "At first, my family thought he had been spared, that he was going to be one of the few lucky survivors."

"What happened?"

Harriet-Makeba is haunted and doleful as she stares at me. "Little did my family know, that there was a silent disease corroding my grandfather's heart and mind. A deadly thing that poisoned him. He hid it well, but eventually, he couldn't fight his demons any longer."

Sick understanding turns me pale and weak. "He committed suicide."

Harriet-Makeba clasps her hands tightly together. She takes a moment to collect her bearings, then nods.

"Yes, but I believe he is at peace now that my family has pushed forward. We will all reunite one day."

A part of me wishes I had genuine faith as strong as hers. Unfortunately, I do not.

The door to the library opens. Nathaniel hesitates as he is subjected to a somber atmosphere.

"I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I can leave."

"That's alright, Prince Nathaniel, I believe our conversation is finished." She sends me a questioning glance to make sure.

I nod. "You can come in."

Harriet-Makeba rises. She appears thoughtful and serene. "I'll be guarding the entrance. Call if you need me."

"You've guarded me long enough today," I protest. "You should be giving yourself a break from time to time."

"She's right, Harriet, Rhoswen is safe with me."

Harriet-Makeba looks at us both and laughs.

"The more hours I plug in, the more money I have saved for college funds. Besides, following someone around and hanging out in a library is far from exausting."

"You still deserve a break," I point out.

"Yes I do," my guard chirps. "And you should be able to have some privacy with your new husband, so I will be on my way to bed. I'll scout the halls briefly then have one of the night guards park nearby."

I smile tentively. "Thank you, Harriet-Makeba, have a goodnight."

She plucks her book from the table. "Goodnight, Ginger."

She says goodbye to Nathaniel before leaving the two of us alone.

I shake off the gloom from my previous conversation and smile politely. "Are you going to have a seat?"

Nathaniel's hair is slightly tousled. Faintly smudged bags outline his smogged-forest eyes, revealing traces of apprehension. He lowers himself on a chair beside me, adjusting his tie.

"I know it's late, but my father insisted I find you to have this signed." He pulls a folded piece of paper our of his pants pocket.

My lips press together as he places the paper in front of me, a pen with black ink is set adjacent to it. The pen rolls a couple inches from me, as if it doesn't want me to sign anymore than I do.

I huff. "The contract."

Nathaniel watches, but says nothing.

I calmly unfold the contract. My eyes instinctively peel to the two signature lines at the bottom. I recoil as I see one of them is filled in elegant cursive.

"You signed already."

"My father pulled me from the ballroom after I returned from putting my brother in his room. My father pressured me, but I was ready to sign."

I pop off the cap. The exposed tip of the pen hovers over the line destined for me.

"We can do this is the morning," Nathaniel offers.

What's the point?

My vision blurs around the edges as I scribble my first and last name on the contract. It Is quick and painless, yet I feel stripped and bare, despite being able to keep my last name without Nathaniel's tacked to the end.

I shove the contract away once it's signed.

"Is that all you needed?"

Nathaniel seems to be at a loss for words. "I...Yes, that is all. Thank you."

It is my turn to stand. "If that's the case, then I will be retiring for the night. I'm tired."

Truthfully, I don't expect to get much sleep tonight. Judging by the blotches on my husband's eyelids, I doubt he will be sleeping either.

Nathaniel takes the contract, gently weighing it in his palm. He makes no move to leave with me.

"Goodnight, Princess. Have a good rest."

"You too."

A cold numbness overtakes me as I trudge away from the contract, and from my husband.

I leave Nathaniel behind to his own devices. To truly sink into his mind, and wonder what kind of a wife he is now tied to. Until the final breath he takes.