Chapter 5: Secret Happiness
1497 Words
For the next few days, I couldn't stop thinking about Benjamin's message.
"Honestly, you're my favorite person to talk to."
Every time I remembered it, I felt the same warmth spread through my chest. It was embarrassing, honestly. I had never been the kind of girl who spent hours thinking about a boy. Most of the girls at Stardom Schools seemed to have crushes every other week, but I had always been too focused on surviving school and avoiding awkward social situations.
Now, somehow, Benjamin had managed to become the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before I slept.
I wasn't sure when that happened.
I wasn't even sure how.
All I knew was that my days felt different now.
Lighter.
Less lonely.
And I liked it.
That Monday morning, I arrived at school a little earlier than usual. The hallways were still half-empty, and most students were either chatting outside or heading toward their classrooms.
I was opening my locker when a familiar voice spoke behind me.
"Good morning, Alicia."
I turned around.
Benjamin.
My stomach immediately did that weird little flip it had started doing whenever he appeared unexpectedly.
"Morning."
He smiled.
"I have something for you."
I blinked.
"What?"
Without saying anything, he held out a small chocolate bar.
I stared at it.
Then at him.
Then back at the chocolate.
"Why?"
"You looked stressed during the math test last week."
I laughed.
"I got the highest score."
"Exactly."
"What does that have to do with being stressed?"
"Everything."
He placed the chocolate in my hand.
"There. Problem solved."
I couldn't help smiling.
"You're weird."
"I prefer charming."
"That's not what I said."
"It was implied."
I shook my head, trying not to laugh.
The bell rang moments later.
As students began filling the hallway, Benjamin stepped back.
"I'll see you at lunch."
Then he walked away.
For some reason, I spent the entire morning smiling every time I looked at the chocolate bar sitting inside my bag.
It wasn't about the gift.
It was the fact that somebody had thought about me.
Somebody had seen me.
Somebody had wanted to make me smile.
Those things mattered more than I wanted to admit.
By lunchtime, I was already looking forward to seeing him.
The realization should have worried me.
Instead, it made me happy.
Benjamin was already waiting at our usual table when I arrived.
"You're late."
I glanced at the clock.
"By two minutes."
"Still late."
I rolled my eyes.
He grinned.
For a while, we talked about random things. Teachers. Homework. A ridiculous rumor about a student who had accidentally set off the fire alarm during chemistry class.
It felt easy.
Natural.
Like we'd been friends much longer than we actually had.
At some point, Benjamin became unusually quiet.
I noticed immediately.
"What?"
He looked at me.
Then away.
Then back again.
For the first time since I had met him, he seemed nervous.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
His fingers tapped lightly against the table.
"Promise you won't laugh?"
Now I was curious.
"I promise."
Benjamin took a breath.
Then he smiled slightly.
"Do you know why I started talking to you?"
I frowned.
"Because you needed help with math?"
He laughed.
"No."
"Oh."
I felt my face grow warm.
"Then why?"
For a second, he didn't answer.
The noise of the cafeteria seemed to fade into the background.
Then he said quietly,
"Because I liked you."
My heart stopped.
Or at least it felt like it did.
I stared at him.
Certain I had heard wrong.
"You what?"
Benjamin laughed softly.
"I like you, Alicia."
My mind completely froze.
Nobody had ever said those words to me before.
Not like this.
Not seriously.
Not in real life.
I suddenly became very aware of everything.
The sound of students talking.
The tray in front of me.
The way my hands felt awkward resting on the table.
The fact that Benjamin was looking directly at me.
Waiting.
I didn't know what to say.
Benjamin rubbed the back of his neck.
"This is the part where you're supposed to say something."
"I..."
Brilliant response, Alicia.
Very intelligent.
Top student in the grade.
Unable to form a complete sentence.
Benjamin laughed again.
And somehow that made it easier to breathe.
"You don't have to answer right now," he said.
"I just wanted you to know."
The rest of lunch passed in a blur.
I barely remember what we talked about afterward.
My thoughts were too busy replaying the conversation over and over.
I like you, Alicia.
By the time I got home, I was still thinking about it.
The problem was that I didn't have anyone to talk to.
I definitely wasn't telling my brothers.
That would be a disaster.
My parents would probably react even worse.
So I kept it to myself.
Like always.
That night, I sat on my bed staring at my journal.
The blank page stared back.
Eventually, I started writing.
Dear Journal,
Something happened today.
Actually, something huge happened.
Benjamin said he likes me.
Even writing the words felt strange.
I stared at the sentence for several seconds before continuing.
Part of me feels happy.
Part of me feels scared.
And a tiny part of me keeps wondering if this is all some kind of joke.
I stopped writing.
The thought lingered longer than I wanted it to.
A joke.
A prank.
A mistake.
After all, people like Benjamin didn't usually notice girls like me.
At least, that was what years of loneliness had taught me.
My phone buzzed.
I picked it up immediately.
A new message from Benjamin.
Have you decided yet?
I swallowed.
Decided what?
The reply came instantly.
Whether you like me too.
My heart pounded.
I stared at the screen for almost two minutes.
Then I typed.
Maybe.
Three dots appeared.
Then disappeared.
Then appeared again.
Finally, a message arrived.
Good. Because I was hoping you'd be my girlfriend.
I felt my breath catch.
The room suddenly seemed much smaller.
My hands trembled slightly as I looked at the message again.
And again.
And again.
For years, I had felt invisible.
For years, I had wondered if anyone would ever choose me.
Now someone finally had.
Someone wanted me.
Someone liked me.
Someone had chosen me.
I should have been careful.
I should have slowed down.
I should have paid attention to the warning signs.
Instead, all I could think about was how happy I felt.
And happiness has a way of making people ignore things they shouldn't.
My thumb hovered over the keyboard.
Then slowly, I started typing my reply.
Completely unaware that one simple answer was about to change everything.
- Writer
