Chapter 6: Everything I Ever Wanted
1587 Words
I said yes.
The moment I sent the message, I dropped my phone onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow.
My heart was racing so fast it felt impossible to breathe normally.
I had a boyfriend.
Benjamin Parker was my boyfriend.
Even thinking the words felt strange.
For years, I had watched other girls at Stardom Schools talk about crushes, relationships, and late-night conversations. It had always seemed like something that happened to other people, not me.
Yet somehow, here I was.
Smiling at my ceiling like an i***t.
A few seconds later, my phone buzzed.
Benjamin: So that's a yes?
I laughed.
Me: You know it's a yes.
Benjamin: Good. I was starting to panic.
Me: You? Panic?
Benjamin: Don't ruin my reputation.
For the next hour, we texted about absolutely nothing important.
School.
Teachers.
Movies.
His terrible math grades.
My annoying brothers.
The conversation never seemed to end.
For the first time in a very long time, I fell asleep smiling.
---
The next morning, everything felt different.
The sky looked brighter.
The walk to school felt shorter.
Even Kevin's nonstop talking during breakfast didn't annoy me.
"Alicia, why do you keep smiling?" he asked suspiciously.
I nearly choked on my juice.
"What?"
"You're smiling."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
Mom looked up from the stove.
"Actually, he has a point."
Great.
Now everyone was looking at me.
I quickly grabbed my backpack.
"I'll be late."
"You leave at the same time every day," Toby pointed out.
"I know."
"Then how can you be late?"
I ignored him and hurried toward the door.
Their laughter followed me outside.
---
By the time I arrived at Stardom Schools, I was already nervous.
Not because of classes.
Because of Benjamin.
Would things be awkward now?
Would everything feel different?
Would people notice?
The moment I walked through the gate, I got my answer.
Benjamin was standing near the science building talking to two of his friends.
He was laughing about something when his eyes landed on me.
Immediately, his expression changed.
He smiled.
Not the casual smile he gave everyone else.
A different one.
A smile that made my stomach flip.
He excused himself from his friends and walked over.
"Morning."
I tried to sound normal.
"Morning."
Neither of us mentioned what had happened the night before.
Yet somehow everything felt different anyway.
For a moment, we simply stood there smiling at each other.
Then Benjamin laughed.
"What?"
I asked.
"Nothing."
"You look like you're about to say something."
"I was just thinking."
"That's dangerous."
He gasped dramatically.
"Wow."
I laughed.
And just like that, the awkwardness disappeared.
---
The next few weeks became my favorite weeks of the entire year.
Every morning Benjamin found me before class.
Every lunch break he sat with me.
Every evening we texted until one of us fell asleep.
I never told my parents.
Not because I wanted to lie.
Because I already knew what their answer would be.
No.
Absolutely not.
End of discussion.
So I kept it to myself.
A secret.
My secret.
Sometimes I felt guilty about it.
Most of the time, I didn't.
Because being with Benjamin made me happy.
And happiness was something I wasn't used to.
---
One Friday afternoon, classes ended earlier than usual.
Most students rushed toward the parking lot.
Benjamin found me near the library.
"Come on."
I frowned.
"Where?"
"You'll see."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"I know."
"Benjamin."
He grinned.
"Trust me."
That should have worried me.
Instead, I followed him.
A few minutes later, we ended up behind the football field where there was a small grassy area overlooking part of the city.
I'd never been there before.
The view was beautiful.
The afternoon sun painted everything gold.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
We simply sat there.
Talking occasionally.
Laughing occasionally.
Enjoying the quiet.
"You know," Benjamin said eventually, "you're different from everyone else."
I looked at him.
"How?"
He shrugged.
"You actually listen."
I laughed.
"That's your compliment?"
"I'm serious."
He smiled.
"Most people only care about talking. You care about listening."
For some reason, those words stayed with me.
Because nobody had ever noticed that before.
Nobody had ever noticed much about me at all.
And maybe that was what made Benjamin so special.
He paid attention.
Or at least, it felt like he did.
---
The following week, I started noticing small changes in myself.
I spoke more in class.
I volunteered answers without overthinking.
I even laughed louder.
It was as if the loneliness that had wrapped itself around me for years was slowly loosening its grip.
Mrs. Reynolds noticed it too.
"You seem happier lately."
I froze.
"Happier?"
She smiled.
"Much happier."
I wasn't sure what to say.
The truth felt impossible to explain.
How could I tell her that one person had walked into my life and suddenly made everything feel lighter?
I couldn't.
So I simply smiled.
---
That evening, after dinner, I sat on my bed texting Benjamin.
Benjamin: Worst thing that happened today?
Me: Kevin stole my snacks.
Benjamin: That's tragic.
Me: I know.
Benjamin: My condolences.
I laughed.
A new message appeared.
Benjamin: Best thing that happened today?
My smile faded slightly.
I stared at the question.
Then slowly typed:
Me: Talking to you.
Three dots appeared immediately.
Disappeared.
Then appeared again.
Finally:
Benjamin: Good answer.
My heart fluttered.
Embarrassing.
But true.
---
Over the next few days, one thought kept returning.
Maybe this was what I'd been missing all along.
Maybe this was why I had felt so lonely.
Maybe I had simply been waiting for someone who understood me.
Someone who saw me.
Someone who chose me.
The idea was comforting.
Dangerously comforting.
Because I was becoming used to Benjamin being there.
Used to his messages.
Used to his attention.
Used to the way he made me feel important.
I didn't realize it yet, but that was exactly why losing him later would hurt so much.
---
The following Thursday, I arrived at school earlier than usual.
As I walked down the hallway, I heard laughter coming from around a corner.
One voice immediately caught my attention.
Benjamin.
I smiled automatically.
Then I slowed down.
Something about the conversation felt different.
A group of older students stood near the lockers.
Benjamin was with them.
One of the boys nudged him.
"What about your little girlfriend?"
The group laughed.
I couldn't hear Benjamin's response.
Another student said something.
More laughter followed.
For a second, I considered walking over.
Instead, I stayed where I was.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand why a strange feeling had suddenly settled in my chest.
A feeling I couldn't explain.
A feeling that whispered something wasn't quite right.
Then Benjamin looked up.
And for the briefest moment, our eyes met.
His smile vanished.
The laughter stopped.
And suddenly, the entire group went quiet.
- Writer
