Smoke

CHAPTER 10

My feet stop in their place abruptly, having to catch my balance as he steps in front of me, forcing our walk to a screeching halt. My eyebrows stitch themselves together in the middle before I shrug - giving in to him. "Okay...Shoot," coaxing him to continue.

"If I can guess your name that you just so happen to insist on keeping a secret...which you're very good at by the way," he pauses, shoving his hands into his front pockets. "Then you have to go on a date with me?" He finishes his proposal and rocks back onto the heels of his feet, awaiting my response.

"Hmmm. What makes you think you're going to be able to guess?" I cross my arms defiantly, playing with the leather strap of my bag, awaiting his rebuttal.

"Let's just say you have piqued my interest and I absolutely refuse to quit stalking you...as you so delicately phrased it, until you surrender and give me a chance to charm the f**k out of you."

"Humble aren't you?" I say sarcastically as my head tilts to the side, my mind wandering off momentarily.

Before I know it, Dawson's warm hand is wrapped around mine, pulling me aside into a nearby alley. I don't even have any time to process what is happening as he pushes me up against the side of the brick building, shading us from any passer-byes' roaming eyes.  

"What the fu-"

I am cut off by his lips crashing onto mine, as I am completely being caught off guard. Maybe this is how he felt when I did the same to him? I can feel the hunger and desperation radiating from his body as he brings his hands to my face and wraps his long fingers around the nape of my neck striving to pull me closer, molding himself to me perfectly. His thumbs are mindlessly caressing the base of my jaw.

I try to resist at first, but my body betrays me quickly, and without warning. I push myself onto my toes and my arms raise instantaneously, wrapping themselves around his neck. My fingers finding their way up to lace through his thick waves, tugging gently. A gruff moan escapes him, reverberating on my lips.

Chills spread across my skin almost instantaneously, giving me away. I can feel him smirk proudly as he leans in to deepen the kiss. His hands travel from my neck to the tops of my shoulders. He lightly traces his fingers down the length of my arms, and then settles them onto each of my hips - heat being left behind in their wake. My hands instinctually move down and roam over the solid muscles of his chest, while taking in his every touch. His arms then wind around my waist, pulling my body flush against his as we become one in the same, my body growing hot under his direct contact.

His tongue soon grazes my bottom lip, begging me for entrance and without a moment's thought, I give in to him. He groans in satisfaction as we duel for dominance, him eventually winning. Without much effort, his hands glide down to the back of my thighs, gently lifting me up as he wraps my legs around his waist tightly. A small gasp slipping through my lips as he uses the brick wall behind me as support. I bring my arms back up and wrap them around his neck to steady myself in his embrace.

He moves to my neck, causing me to promptly tilt my head to the side, in order to better his access. He begins trailing down, lightly kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin just below my ear which leads me to tighten my grip on his broad shoulders firmly.

Fucking Christ!

My body is giving in, but my mind rapidly snaps back to reality and is screaming at me that I need to stop as my anxiety begins to overtake my thoughts. I place my hands back to his chest and push him away smoothly to catch my breath. I gaze into his eyes, his pupils blown and full of primal desire, begging me not to stop. In our surrounding silence, our ragged breathing echoes between the two of us, as the world around us had fallen away.

I have to close my eyes just to be able to gather my composure, pushing down the urge to just say 'f**k it' and continue on where we left off. Against my body's protests and with a painful amount of hesitation, I slowly lower my legs one by one back to the ground below. I re-open my eyes, unable to bring myself to look at him, as much as my body is screaming at me to do otherwise. 

"Why did you do that?" I whisper, not trusting myself to use my true voice - knowing it would betray be once again.

He bends his head down closer to me and says, "Look at me, please. I need you to see my face so you know I am telling you the f*****g honest to God truth." He brings his hand up toward my face, causing me to flinch. It was brief, but my quick glance at his reaction and the sight of his eyes softening, immediately tell me that he noticed. I look back to my feet to hide my now hot and reddening cheeks.

He moves slower this time and places a finger under my chin - raising my head with ease and caution to again meet my gaze with his pleading hazel eyes. "I don't know you. I don't know your history. It is quite obvious you have been hurt by someone you once trusted, but I am not them."

His hands gently frame my face as one of his thumbs traces over my bottom lip slightly, then moving up to wipe away a shed tear that I didn't realize had escaped. He places a soft kiss on my forehead and continues, "I know that I don't even know your name, but I have never had to work this hard to get a girl to talk to me...hell I've never wanted to, until you came bounding up to me in the street, breaking the mold of everything I ever thought I knew. But I know in my gut that you are worth it. I just need you to give me a chance to prove that I can break the mold of what you once knew, too."

I couldn't speak. Actually, that was definitely because I stopped breathing. I'm sure of it. 

Where the f**k did the air go? 

I open my mouth to respond, only to close it again soon thereafter, being at a complete and total loss for words.

One of his hands gently moves down and grips just above my elbow while the other comes up to brush a lock of hair back behind my ear. He leans back enough to better see my now exposed face. "Please say something," he whispers under his breath, letting out a low, vulnerable sigh. His eyes are searching mine for any sign of emotion, only to fall short in my moment of utter shock.

I can't even think, let alone comprehend what all he has just confessed to me. 

The look in his eyes show that he feels completely raw and exposed after expressing his feelings to me, which I feel is something he is not used to doing. Still they hold a glimmer of hope, imploring me for a response; a response that I don't know how to give.

Butterflies swarm around in my stomach, yearning for him to be telling me the truth. My heart is pleading out to the universe that this isn't some f*****g game like so many others before. They are why I made my 'no dating' rule in the first place when I moved here. I have no more room for regrets. I don't think I can mentally or physically handle another one. It might just be what pushes me over the edge, and finally breaks me.

All I fear is that I will be made a fool, yet again if I go against what my head is telling me instead of my heart. Despite my overwhelming fear that has been manifesting itself inside of me through years and years of pain, I somehow find myself choosing to listen to the latter - hoping to whatever good there is in this world, that I didn't choose wrong.

I pull myself up from the wall and straighten my back, seeking out some ounce of whatever bravery is left inside of me. A small smile forms on my lips and I swallow hard trying to do away with my obtrusive pride before finally saying, "Well I suppose you better start guessing then huh?"

An impossibly large smile spreads across his handsome face as he leans down to place a soft kiss on my lips before pulling me into an unyielding embrace, effectively dissolving away all my previous fears. "I can do that."