Smoke

CHAPTER 15

I look up at the ceiling out of sheer embarrassment, trying to hide my ever growing emotions, and to avoid the look on Dawson's face. I can't bear to see it right now.

He lowers himself to his knees as his hands travel down to settle on my hips. Even though I can't see him, I feel the anger pouring out of him. However, he stays quiet. His fingers twitch against my waist, briefly tightening due to the grotesque evidence of my past and now my present, that's splattered all across my torso.  In his new and expanding revelations of my past secrets coming to the surface, he places an intimate kiss right above my navel.

His warm touch sends waves of shock through me as I flinch back, moving away from the unfamiliar contact, out of instinct - a defense mechanism that my body has taken on, from years of being met with angry outbursts and abuse. I feel his fingers brush over my deep purple flesh before trailing their way over to the old round cigarette burns and raised gashes that are now a thinner and lighter tone than that of my untouched skin. His left hand lowers to cover the marks left behind by my own hand on my thighs, while his right grazes over the faint indentations of teeth marks that have faded over time; residing directly above my right breast. 

My stomach heaves and my body begins to tremble at the memories that are now being closely analyzed by the man kneeling before me. 

He notices my retraction before rising back to his feet. I'm still staring up at the ceiling to avoid his gaze. I rub my sternum, trying to breathe through my unease, as the ghosts of my past come swarming back to haunt me. His fingers lightly grab my chin, coaxing me to look at him, but my eyes close in retaliation.

He wraps my towel back around my torso, I'm sure in hopes of lessening my discomfort. "Please look at me," his voice pleads in a low, breathy whisper. 

My body fights against his request, but I slowly force myself to bring my gaze to meet his breathtaking hazel eyes. My body warms as he bores into my soul, but I don't say anything as I let out an uneven sigh.

"I will make sure that man will never ever be able to hurt you again. Or any other for that matter." His voice is stern, and his jaw is clenched so tight, I am sure his teeth will crack at any moment. He looks as though he is trying to restrain the boiling rage that's begging to be let out, forbidding it from surfacing onto his face. "I will always be here to protect you...from now on."

"That's a promise that just can't be made Dawson. As much as I know you want to, you can't always be there to protect me from the world."

He pulls me closer with a pointed look on his face, "You may be right, but I'm going to do whatever I need, to make sure this never happens again." He groans, running his hand through his wavy hair and adds, "You are going to take self-defense classes with me at the gym...privately of course - so that you will be able to protect yourself if ever I am not there to do it myself."

I nod because a part of me knows that I need this...that I need him. My head drops forward as my tears betray me, exposing my all too raw emotions that are now stirring inside of my chest. 

His hands settle beneath my jawline, slowly tilting my head up with his thumbs. Our eyes lock briefly before his fall to my lips, only to rise back up as if asking permission. I give him a slight nod in response because all words are lost to me, but that's all he needs. He leans in and his lips find mine once again. This time it's soft and caring, unlike the former which was full of hunger. The salty taste from my previously shed tears intertwine with our tongues. 

His hands travel down to the backs of my thighs, breaking the kiss while lifting me up onto the counter gracefully, awakening all of my senses. His lips find my neck, trailing kisses down toward my collarbone, nibbling at the flesh as he goes - cautiously avoiding the fingertip sized bruises that stain my skin. I grip onto the top of my towel, trying to secure it as best as I can with my fist as my other hand tangles in his hair, tugging lightly. My legs spread open instinctually, allowing him access to move forward, positioning himself perfectly between them. I can feel his hardening member press against my ever so bare entrance, as he pulls me in closer by my hips. 

"You are so beautiful, Austyn." The vibrations from his confession send a wave a goosebumps to coat my skin. I feel a smile form on his lips as they continue to roam across my shoulder.

His hands move to my knees to wrap my legs around his waist in one swift motion, and then his fingers slowly begin to roam higher. They squeeze the sensitive skin on my inner thighs just below my core before he shifts his attention and grazes a thumb lightly over my bundle of nerves in a circular motion.

I gasp, causing his mouth to meet mine once again, swallowing each and every moan. I reach forward, grabbing his bottom lip between my teeth which entices a guttural groan to escape him. He wraps his free hand around the back of my neck, deepening the kiss so much so, that it's as if all he needs is to breathe the air directly from my lungs...as if we are one being - reliant on each other to survive.

My brain starts going haywire due to the building desire within myself from his contact, causing the events of last night to come flooding back with a vengeance. I internally curse at myself. I just want to be right here - in this moment - with him. However, my brain has other plans for me as my anxiety begins to grow.. 

FUCK!

I slowly pull away, closing my eyes in the process. I try and shake away the feeling of fear that is now bubbling in my stomach. Why can't I just let the past go? Why can't I just let him in without the impending feeling of dread taking over? The feeling that he could hurt me. My brain just won't f*****g allow it.

"I-I'm sorry. I just...I can't. It's too soon." I lean forward, pressing my forehead against his chiseled chest; too afraid to look him in the eyes. Instead, he places a firm kiss on the top of my head, his breath fanning down over my face, igniting a shiver to erupt throughout my body.

"There's absolutely no reason you should be apologizing. I should have been more careful," a shadow of some indecipherable emotion flashes across his face before being quickly replaced by a small, understanding smile.

His response slightly stuns me. I look up at his sincere expression and instantly know he's telling the truth. If I am being honest, I can feel in my gut that he would never intentionally hurt me. 

I give him the smallest smile that I can muster up as my cheeks begin to heat under his stare. 

"You hungry?" 

Before I have time to answer, my stomach growls in submission. I let out a soft giggle, patting my belly, urging it to calm the f**k down. 

He chuckles at the demanding noise, "I take that as a yes." 

He lifts me up off the counter, gently placing me back onto my feet, before grabbing my hand and leading me to my bedroom around the corner. We thankfully go unseen by the guests, gathered in the living room. 

He ushers me to sit at the end of my bed, as he grabs an oversized long-sleeve shirt, slipping it over my head after removing my towel from my body. He then lowers himself to one knee, sliding a pair of yoga shorts up my legs, impressively with little effort. Even I have to do the typical 'wiggle of the hips and jump' a few times to get those fuckers on. 

"Okay. Are you ready to go out there? A few people came over to see you."

With my throat still scratchy, I settle with a slight nod, letting out a deep breath to settle my nerves. He smiles and softly intertwines his fingers in mine, leading me out of the safety of my bedroom to finally greet the people waiting for me in the living room. 

As soon as we enter, the smell of bacon, waffles and coffee fill the air. I close my eyes, inhaling the sweet scent. I release Dawson's hand as my feet start following my nose in the direction of the kitchen.

Before I know it, I hear loud footsteps approaching me quickly. Out of pure reflex, I jump back, losing my balance and falling into a wall...well a human wall, I should say. Large hands grabbed me by my hips to keep me from knocking him over as well. My eyes dart up and see a gargantuan smirk belonging to none other than Luca.

He seems to be the one always saving me... 

"You alright freckles?" A deep chuckle falls from his lips. 

My hands instantly rise to cover my speckled cheeks as they begin to heat up, but I manage to choke out a giggle to lessen the embarrassment that is trying to take over.

"Oh sweetie! I didn't mean to scare you!" Charlie's somber expression brings me back to reality as he slowly approaches me. His long, muscular arms trapping Luca and me into a gentle group hug, smooshing me in between them. I can't help but to erupt into laughter just thinking about the sight of a tiny girl being sandwiched between two massive f*****g men.

"Alright, alright. It's my turn now. Move the f**k over," Avery tears me away from the brothers. Luca heads back to the kitchen and Charlie goes over to talk to Lily.

Avery pulls me into a bear hug, unintentionally drawing out a yelp from my lips. This earns a smack on the back of the head from Dawson.

"She has three broken ribs moron!" Dawson's words cause Avery to loosen his grip, whispering an apology into the crook of my neck. He however did not release me from his embrace.

After a few beats I finally wiggle free. It's Kol's turn. He pulls me in for a gentle side hug, with his arm slung over my shoulder. "You f*****g scared the s**t out of us girl. You can't just charm your way into our hearts and then come out of the room looking like that." He paused, debating his next remark carefully, but shook his head and instead blurted out, "It'll lead a man to have to commit murder."

A smile spread across Kol's face while he chuckles, but I hear Dawson clear his throat and see the rest of the guys side eye him inconspicuously.

"Ha-Ha. Very funny." I smack his arm playfully and my eyes land on someone I've never met before. He catches my prodding stare and steps forward.

"Um...hi. Sorry for the intrusion. I'm Sawyer. Dawson's friend," his voice sounding unsure of his own introduction.

I look him up and down, trying to figure out if I've seen him before. His finger swept, blonde hair is longer on the top, pushed back messily. His baby blue eyes are darting between the guys, successfully skipping over my tiny figure each time. He's built just like the rest of them. I can see the outline of muscles protruding through his fitted, black t-shirt.

"You were at the pub last week right?" I completely took a shot in the dark, but he isn't giving me much to go on.

"Uh. Yeah."

Short and sweet. Alright then...

I nod and stroll into the kitchen where Luca is cooking. I gently pull myself up onto the counter next to him to observe his handiwork...also so I can actually reach the coffee mugs on the top shelf.

He eyeballs me and chuckles, "Someone your height should come with one of those grabby stick things."

"Oh, you think you're funny don't you?" I roll my eyes and pour myself a cup of coffee, breathing in the aroma before going back to watch him work. "If you keep cooking like that around here, you won't be allowed to leave," I giggle, snatching a piece of the beautifully crispy bacon, humming with every chew.

"You don't cook?" He looks at me, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"More like can't cook. I have a tendency of starting fires and Lily burns boiled water." I smile wickedly.

"That's cute," he laughs, watching me sway due to my pure enjoyment of his food. A little happy dance involuntarily takes over my body while I grab another piece of bacon.

A stray strand of hair falls over my face, which Luca quickly catches. His fingertips graze over my forehead lightly to tuck the hair securely behind my ear. I freeze, not expecting the spark that shot through my body by his touch. I eye him carefully and his gaze meets mine as if daring me to look away. There's something behind those dark eyes that I can't read. Instead of trying to pry into his head further, I cave and look away first, playing with the hem of my shirt between my fingers.

A throat clears, drawing my attention up to Charlie who eyes his brother skeptically, and then moves to step between us. "I have to head back to the shop little lady, but don't worry about your shifts. Graham graciously volunteered to cover yours shifts for the week."

"He's a good one," I lean over and give him a hug. He then turns to Luca and gives him a firm pat on his shoulder, his tight grip sending a silent message to his brother that is clearly not meant for me to hear.

"That he is. He's just worried about you and wants to make sure you actually spend your time healing and not stressing about work." He places his hands on both of my shoulders and kisses each cheek, "Take care of yourself sweetie. I'll call you later." I give him a small smile and wave him goodbye before he turns on his heels and exits my apartment.

My eyes fall onto Dawson whose gaze is not on me, but instead is quizzically focused on Luca, who is turned back toward the stove to finish our breakfast. His brows are pulled together, creating wrinkles that crease into two vertical lines in the middle. His lips are pressed tightly into a straight line, signifying he must have noticed our previous interaction before being interrupted by Charlie. 

I slide off of the counter and make my way over to him, wrapping my arms securely around his waist in hopes of quieting his budding suspicions. It seems to take effect when I feel each of his muscles physically relax as he lets out a long and exaggerated breath that he was clearly holding in.

One of his arms encircles around my waist, his thumb hanging off the hem of my shorts. His once scrutinizing stare forms into that of one resembling admiration as he looks down, his eyes locking with mine. 

Butterflies swarm in my belly as he leans down, pressing his forehead to mine. We both sigh in unison, feeling content...safe even. I can't remember the last time I felt this way. All I know is I'm not ready to let it go.

What is this man doing to me?