Coming home

chapter 9

Claire laid in bed with her eyes closed, afraid to move in fear of the pain it may cause. She knew she needed to get up, get coffee, and get a much-needed shower, but she couldn’t seem to make her brain make her body move. Her brain gave up the fight when she got a whiff of the coffee already brewing. Oh great, this meant that Luke was still here and making coffee. The thought made her weigh her options, but the coffee won out.

Claire forced her body up only to be stopped by a searing pain down her arm. This wasn’t going to be easy. She grabbed her robe, only accomplishing about half an attempt at covering up before she gave up on it altogether. She crept into the kitchen to find James standing at the coffee pot, waiting for the coffee to get finished.

“If you would have waited, I was going to bring you some coffee along with some pain meds,” he said when he spotted her.

“It’s fine. I needed to get out of that bed anyway. I don’t want to wind up with bed sores along with everything else..” which got her a glare of disappointment from James.

“You do realize that you need a swift kick for not telling us the truth?”

“So Luke told you everything I see.”

“Did you really expect him not to? I mean, if it is left up to you, then no one would ever know anything,” James said, giving her another disappointed flare. Why he would expect anything else from David’s daughter was beyond him. David didn’t even confide in him in his final days.

“I’m guessing you are going to be my babysitter today? I’m not an invalid, you know?’ She may be injured, but she wasn’t going to be treated like she was helpless. She still had one good arm and both legs that functioned. She could get alone without someone watching over her every minute of the day.

“Nope, I got fences to check on and mend or don’t you remember?” James said, watching the relief spread across her face and then continued, “I’m just here until Luke returns from running his errands.” He smiled as he saw her expression fall. “If you would have just been straightforward with what the doctor’s assessment was, then you may have been trusted to stay by yourself. You brought this all on yourself, and the kicker is that you can’t do anything about it now,” he said, sitting her cup of coffee down and a couple of pills in front of her.

James laughed out loud when Claire grabbed her coffee, stuck her tongue out at him, and stormed out of the kitchen. His laughter followed her down the hall until she slammed the door to the bathroom. Claire knew she was being childish, but she just couldn’t help it. Being home was making her feel like a child instead of the professional therapist that she had become. Her mind told her that she was better off with help, but her stubborn pride wasn’t having any of it. Now, she didn’t even know how she was going to manage something as simple as a shower. She wanted to cry.

Having to admit defeat for the second time this morning, she washed her face and went back to her room. She knew she had agreed to help with Elizabeth, but they were going to have to find another way to do that. There was no way a twelve-year-old was going to be able to help her with all the stuff she was going to need help with. Like morning routines. Trying and failing to change clothes, Claire gave up. She was defeated. She curled up under the covers and began to quietly sob. And that was how Luke found her.

“Oh Claire, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” Luke said, walking to her side. “Do you need your pain meds?” Claire gave a sniff, trying to slip farther into the covers. “Come on now. I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” his voice conveyed general concern.

“Why do you even care?” she said honestly. Why her first response to him was always one of defiance was beyond her. She knew she was doing it but couldn’t seem to stop that either. He seemed to only be trying to help her, but her past hurts wasn’t allowing her to keep them in the past like she thought they were. When she found the courage to look at him, he was just standing over her glaring at her. “Fine! I can’t do this! I can’t do any of it,” the whole statement started out strong but faded toward the end as she realized she was vocalizing her defeat. She never liked feeling weak and certainly wasn’t kosher with having to admit this to Luke.

“What do you mean by ‘Can’t do this’?” Luke asked.

“I can’t do any of it. I can’t take a shower. I can’t change clothes. I can barely pee on my own. And I can’t have Elizabeth helping me,” she said, shooting a glance at him as the last spilled out of her mouth. She knew he wasn’t going to be happy with the last. “I know I said I would help with her, but she isn’t going to be able to help me with the things I’m going to need help with. I will still help, but it’s going to have to be some other way.”

Luke just stood over her, silent with a blank stare, like he was letting it all sink in. Claire wished he would say something, anything. The silence was becoming deafening. Or he could just go away. Leave her in her own despair to figure out her own problems.

“First things first,” Luke finally said, cutting through the silence. “Get up and come on.”

“Go where?” Claire fruitlessly asked. Luke was already darting out of the room like he was on some kind of mission.

There was no way Luke was going to answer her question. He knew she would protest, so he left her with no other choice but to follow him. He slowed once outside her door until he knew she was following. He still knew her well enough to know her curiosity would get the best of her.

Claire stepped out the door and saw Luke heading to the bathroom. “Um, no,” she said sternly. “There is no way you are helping me take a shower.” Just the thought of it made her go pale and weak.

“Wasn’t my intention,” Luke said with a grin. “But if that is how much help you need, then I could be persuaded.” Reaching the bathroom, she could see the mischief dancing in his eyes. Feeling unbalanced, she spat out, “Then what is this about?”

“Your first complaint was that you couldn’t take a shower. We are going to fix that now,” he said. Claire looked horrified and he thought she was about to faint. “Relax. It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before,” Luke said, bringing a feverish blush to Claire’s face as she recalled the nights long ago. “But,” Luke continued. “Since this isn’t the time to pursue that avenue, we will wait on that. It will be perfectly chastised and your dignity will stay intact.”

Luke removed her sling before retrieving something out of a bag. He must have placed the bag in the bathroom before he came to her room. Before Claire could protest, he cut her shirt off her injured shoulder with a pair of scissors, cutting her bra strap in the process. He then snipped her bra down the side of her back, lightly brushing his knuckles up against her skin, sending tingles to the most sensitive parts of her body.

If Luke noticed the chill bumps, he covered it up because he didn’t let on. He dug through the bag one last time, taking a shower cap out and putting it on her head. “I’m going to make some fresh coffee. Yell if you happen to need additional help,” he said squeezing between her and the sink sliding his chest dangerously close to her breast that seemed to perk up in anticipation, as if her n*****s were trying to reach out and touch him. This time, he did take notice, which was relayed through the grin he sported before he walked out, leaving the bathroom door ajar.

Claire stood there a moment in total, shocked that her body was betraying her. She wanted to throw something at him. She wanted to scream. She wanted to… she didn’t know what she wanted. It was her own body that reacted to him. Her own body was the traitor.

Claire couldn’t blame it only on her body. Her mind wasn’t quite hitting on all cylinders either. She couldn’t believe she didn’t come up with this idea herself. It was so simple. Sure, her shirt and bra were going to have to be thrown in the trash now and replaced, but that was a small price to pay to be able to get a shower. Maybe this would be doable. It wasn’t like she would be this sore for long. Besides, she thought most of the soreness was from the fall and not because of the actual injuries.

From the kitchen, Luke heard the water cut on and smiled. If he had stayed in that bathroom one more minute, he would have indeed ended up in the shower with her under the pretense of helping. He was sure it wouldn’t have taken much to convince her to allow him to help. Her reaction to the help he gave her was as transparent as glass. It took all his willpower not to act upon his impulses. If it hadn't been for the visible bruising on her exposed injured shoulder, he wouldn’t have been able to resist.

He had no clue why he kept insisting that this was a good idea because it seemed he was just torturing himself. He could have come up with another way to get help for Elizabeth, and he knew it. He just didn’t want to give up being around Claire right now. For some reason, she made him feel like he was young again, even when she was being unreasonable. Plus, he wanted to know why she left without an explanation all those years ago and he wouldn’t find out unless he was around her.

On his morning errands, Luke had stopped off at the local clothes outlet and enlisted the help of the sales woman to help find some clothes that would be easy for Claire to maneuver with a dislocated shoulder. He had known she would protest his help and wouldn’t be good with Elizabeth helping her with certain things. So far, he had been able to stay a step ahead of her needs, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for long. Luke thought as he laid her new clothes out on her bed, then hurried out of the room when he heard the shower turn off.