Coming home

chapter 13

Elizabeth picked out the room that was Claire’s father's. Claire hadn’t been able to bring herself to come into this room before now. She didn’t want to go through his things. The last person to be in here was her dad. She had thought about hiring someone to come in and get rid of all his belongings but put it off. She knew it had to be done , but getting rid of his things meant he was gone for good. Claire just wasn’t ready to give up his ghost just yet. With Elizabeth choosing his room, Claire knew it was time. Probably pastime to claim healthy healing, Claire reasoned.

It would be her and Elizabeth’s first project together, Claire thought as she climbed into the shower. She would focus on getting to know Elizabeth and maybe forming a little bond, so Elizabeth would be more at ease around her. She could observe Elizabeth's actions and reactions. She was already weary about Elizabeth’s lack of emotion when she talked about Nancy earlier and had jotted it down in a notebook before she headed for the shower.

Claire had a notebook for each of her patients. She always jotted down what she liked to call red flags. She wouldn’t have been able to do this without Elizabeth knowing what was going on. Since Claire was trying to find out if there were deeper problems with this child, it would have to be conducted under the observation method. It would be much easier to observe Elizabeth in her own element, but that would be harder on her own recovery, Claire thought.

It was so much harder working with children from Claire’s experience. She preferred adults. It just came naturally to Claire. She was sure children came naturally to others in her profession, but not to Claire. It was like she was in new territory. Adults didn’t seem as good as children were at keeping secrets. She was sure it was because adults had the concept of the monetary cost of therapy, whereas children didn’t completely understand it. Children just see it as talking to another adult who wouldn’t understand and who probably really didn’t care. This was a major barrier that Claire found it difficult to get past.

Claire would have to talk to Luke about it later. There were so many questions left unanswered when it came to Nancy that she hadn’t realized she needed answering. She had no idea why, but for some reason, she didn’t think she needed to know the ins and outs of what exactly happened to Nancy. She was going to need so much more info, and she didn’t think it would be a good idea to get it from Elizabeth.

While Claire and Elizabeth went to check up on Chaos, Luke decided to go and tidy up a bit. He was sure after the little outing, Claire would need to rest, and if she thought there was something that needed to be done, then she wouldn’t rest. He started in the bathroom, installing a handrail he got the other day. He was sure soaking in a bath would be preferred over the showers Claire had been settling with.

Luke had moved from room to room, opening windows and tidying up as best as he could. He hadn’t even thought that maybe it would be considered an invasion of privacy until he was walking into her dads den, and then it hit him. Would he want anyone he knew in his den going over his things? A sudden wave of guilt went through his body. How strange this feeling was. He didn’t even feel bad when he stripped Claire’s bedclothes down to put on wash. Or even when he was trying to tidy her room. But now, in a dead man's den, he felt ashamed for some reason. Maybe it was because he had yet to tell Claire that he had made offers in the past to buy the Roaming J.

Luke backed out of the den, fighting the urge to wipe his fingerprints off the door knob. He had done nothing wrong, but this nagging feeling that he had wasn’t going to go away until he came clean with Claire. Luke vowed to tell her the next time the opportunity presented itself. Not that it had presented itself before, but he could have brought it up, he thought, as he sauntered into the kitchen to get lunch ready for Claire and Elizabeth's return.

Tonight's talk was really going to be a challenge for him. It had been a long time since he had anyone to confess to. He really hadn’t talked to anyone about anything of importance since Claire. As a matter of fact, Claire was mainly the only person he had ever bared his soul to. He hadn’t even let Wade in on how much she had hurt him back then, and Wade had been his best friend. Sure, Wade probably knew, but they never talked about it. Wade just stuck with Luke until things got better. Then, like everyone else seemed to do, Wade left him also.