Depression

CHAPTER 18

Chapter 18

•Yaron Lincoln's POV•

I suddenly remembered my ex who cheated on me. We we're 19 that time and she had the guts to cheat on me.

I'm away from her that day because we have a family reunion in Brazil. My friend told me that she saw my girlfriend with another guy.

At first I didn't believe what my friend said because I thought it's her cousin or what but when I came back... I was the one who saw them and I followed them.

Kahit na kababalik ko lang noon dito sa Pilipinas galing ng Brazil ay sinundan ko sila. I thought it's her friend but it's more than a friend.

Buong akala ko mananatili siyang tapat at kuntento sa akin pero nagkamali ako. Lahat iyon ay akala ko lang. It's true that sometimes expectation will hurt you.

You need to be brave, Yaron.

Face them. No matter what happens or what you'll see, always remember that you have your friends, your family and Him.

I was about to open the door of her condo when I heard noises. She really is cheating on me. What did I do wrong? Is my love not enough? I just stayed in Brazil for 1 week.

I even bought some things for her. Hindi ako ganon kasamang tao, ibibigay ko pa rin sakaniya ang mga napamili ko para sakaniya. She still deserves it even though she cheated on me. Deserve niya pa rin iyon dahil minahal niya naman ako ng dalawang taon. But I can't promise that I will forgive her that quickly after what she done.

I just knocked on her door.

"Hey, can you open the door for me?," I heard my girlfriend

"Sure, babe,"

Babe? Yuck, our endearment is much prettier that their endearment.

The door opened and there I saw the guy.

"Who are you?," He asked

And he have the guts to ask me that. I chuckled sarcastically.

"I'm Yaron,"

I saw how his eyes widened upon hearing my name.

"D-daera!,"

"What- Yaron!,"

"Hi, I just came here to give you this," I said and gave her the paper bags. "I don't need your explanations Daera, I already know what I need to know,"

"Yaron, don't do this to me-

"Enough, what did I do to you? Am I a bad person? ," I asked her and just keep on shaking her head.

I mentally laugh. How could you do this to me, Daera?

"I'm sorry, but let's end this now, Daera," I told her. "Thank you for everything, I love you,"

I immediately went out of the building and drove my car to the nearest beach.

Walang katao-tao sa parteng ito. Ang tanging maririnig mo lang ay ang malakas na paghampas ng alon at ang mga ibon.

"There's no permanent in this world, it's all temporary,"

I turned my gaze to the one who said that. My eyes widened as I saw the girl crying.

"H-hey, what happened?," I asked

"This is nothing, you? Why are you here?," She asked back

I sighed. I don't know if I can tell to a typical stranger what happened.

"My girlfriend- ex girlfriend cheated on me,"

"Poor you, but always remember that some things are meant to happen. Soon, you'll find a love that you deserve," she said and walked away.

I didn't even get a chance to thank her. I hope we'll see each other again.

What she said earlier is also true that there is no permanent in this world.

I know someday I'll find a love that I deserve. It's never too late. You just need to wait for the right time...

Some things are really meant to happen. I guess this happened to show me that I need to let go of her already. My friends always told me before that they always see Daera with another guy but I never believe them. Karma really hits.

I don't want to go home. So I went to Tito Ky's house.

"Oh Yaron, what brings you here? Is there a problem?," Tita Gia asked. "Kagagaling niyo lang sa Brazil ah, hindi ka ba magpapahinga muna?,"

I just smiled at her.

"Did you cry? What happened? You can always talk to me, anak?," She asked

"Tita, Am I a bad person? Do I deserve this? How could she cheat on me?,"

"She what? Oh god. Yaron I don't want to be rude but I guess fate is the one who opened your eye to believe what your friends are saying about her," she said. "No one in this world deserves to be cheated, dear. It's just some people are not contented on what they have,"

"Sa buhay na 'to walang permanente, Yaron. May aalis ngunit may darating, ang iba naman ay nagbabalik kapag umaalis. Hindi natin hawak mismo ang tadhana pero maaari nating baguhin ang mga pagkakamali natin. Hindi ko masasabing kaya nating baguhin ang takbo ng tadhana ngunit may ilan na nababago nila ang takbo nito," dagdag niya pa.

Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit niya nagawa sakin yon. Saan ba ako nagkulang?

"The best way to understand your situation is to have a closure with Daera and to clear things between the two of you and also to break up with her nicely. What I mean by "to break up with her nicely" is dapat payag siya sa hiwalayang magaganap sainyong dalawa dahil hindi lang ikaw ang nasa relasyon na yan," aniya pa. "Have a closure when you're both okay,"

And Tita Gia left me and she said if I needed someone to talk to I can always talk to her.

I thanked her. And also Tito Ky for having such a good wife.

Maybe tita Gia was right. We need a closure to clear the things between us. Hindi maayos ang pakikipag hiwalay ko kay Daera. Ako lang ang nag desisyon.

*****

I'm currently here at a Café. I ordered a cranberry cheesecake and lemon meringue pie. I also ordered white café glace and latté macchiato.

Hindi po ako marupok. I'm just going to talk to Daera about what happened.

"Hi, I'm sorry for being late,"

"Hi, please have a seat," I asked her

I told her to eat first because she look like she's been chased by 50 cows. I gave her the cranberry cheesecake and latté macchiato.

While mine is the lemon meringue pie and white café glace. She's almost done eating so I already ask her.

"What did I do wrong, Daera?," I asked and she was caught off guard

"You did nothing, Yaron. It's just me because I'm not contented on what I have," she smiled but I saw pain in her eyes

"When you said that you'll have a family vacation in Brazil, I'm already cheating on you. A month before you said that. Your friends were right but you didn't listen nor believe them. You're not a bad person Yaron because I am the bad person here," she said not looking at me. "I'm okay about your decision on breaking up. Dapat ay nakuntento ako kung anong meron ako noon. I'm sorry for cheating on you, Yaron. Alam kong hindi madaling magpatawad pero sana balang araw mapatawad mo ako sa lahat lahat ng mga nagawa ko sayo. I hope you'll find a woman who's not like me na ang ginawa lang ay kundi saktan ka-

"You loved me, Daera. That's enough for me. At least you loved me, right?,"

"Of course I love you! Who wouldn't? You're such a nice guy, lagi mong inuuna at iniintindi ang iba kaysa unahin ang sarili mo. And maybe this is the time that you should focus on yourself, Yaron. Maybe fate did this so you can focus on yourself now and not by focusing on me. Thank you for everything, Yaron. I guess this is goodbye? I know you'll find a woman that will love you and when that happens, always remember that I'm proud of you and I have loved you. I'm proud of what you become, Yaron. Thank you. I love you and this is our goodbye," she smiled at me. A sincere smile that I will never see again

"I messaged you on your email, Daera. Lahat ng gusto kong sabihin sayo nakasulat duon. This is a goodbye now, thank you too and I love you for the last time. Goodbye, Daera,"

I assured her that I will find a woman who will love me the way I'll love that person. I hope Daera will also find a love that she deserve. I only wish the best for her.

She stood up and walked away. Hindi man lang nag ambag ng bayad, choz! I'm friends with the owner of this café and I already paid for what I ordered.

It feels good having a good break up and closure. Sa mga nag break jan na hindi maayos ang break up o kaya naman walang closure, sign na 'to para magkaroon ng closure at maayos na break up para sainyo. But of course make sure that you're very comfortable with it. Don't force yourself to have a closure with someone you're not comfortable with.

There will always be a right time that you'll talk again and have closure.

Kapag hindi talaga naka tadhana sayo wala ka na talagang magagawa.

"Yaron?,"

"Alpheus? Bro, how are you? Take a seat,"

"Woah, long time no see, I'm with my fiancé,". Alpheus said. "I'm good bro, how about you?,"

"I'm good, where's your fiancé? It's okay with me, you're with her just take a seat," I said

"Oh there she is. Elrys!," Alpheus shouts.

Oh don't tell me. Goodness! Andami nilang pinagdaanan but here they are still together.

"Sai. Oh is he your friend?," His fiancé asked after seeing me

"Yes. He is Capt. Yaron Buenaventura, Yaron this is my fiancé, Eliana Carys Bianchi,"

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Bianchi soon to be Mrs. Takahashi," I smiled at her

"Nice to meet you too, Capt. Buenaventura," she smiled back

"Oh take a seat," I offered

"Sai, we should invite Yaron,"

"My love, I already invited him," Alpheus said

What? Me?

"Huh? You invited me already?," I asked in confusion

"Bro, I sent you an email," he said. "It's okay, I understand. I know you're busy pero huwag kang mawawala sa kasal ko ha? Malay mo duon mo mahanap ang para sayo,"

This guy really is a jerk sometimes.

"Walang ganon, Alpheus," I told him and he just laughed

"So Mr. Bitter, don't lose hope, you'll find her someday," ginatungan pa nga ng fiancé

Bagay talaga sila. Sana all.

"I know that, it's just... It's very hard to trust someone right now,"

"It is. But some things are meant to happen maybe this happened because she really isn't for you, Yaron. Malay mo mahanap mo talaga yung para sayo sa araw ng kasal ko," I thought Alpheus will be serious pero loko loko talaga

I wonder why Eliana fall for this man. Nahulog siya sa isang loko lokong lalaki. But good for them, they already find their home in each other.

"Oh we need to go now, Yaron. Okay ka lang ba dito?," Tanong ni Alpheus

"Yes, I'm okay. Go on. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Takahashi," I said

"Thank you bro, huwag kang mawawala sa kasal ko ha," sabi pa niya

I just nodded. And smiled at them. They waved their hands as they walk away from me.

I am very happy for Alpheus, hindi rin biro ang pinagdaanan niya. Finally, he used his father's surname. He's been using his middle name. I guess everything will be good at the right time.

There was a time when Eliana and Alpheus had a fight. Eliana thought that Alpheus isn't wealthy pero isang araw biglang nagulantang ang lahat nang malaman nilang isang Takahashi si Alpheus. Pero alam ko ang dahilan kung bakit itinago iyon ni Alpheus sa lahat, ayaw niyang malaman ng nga nakakasalamuha niya na isa siyang Takahashi dahil itatrato siya na parang hindi normal na tao. Dahil dito sa amin, kapag mayaman ka itatrato kang iba. Kinakatakutan din ng mga tao ang apelyidong Takahashi dahil alam nilang makapangyahiran ang mga ito kaya itinago ni Alpheus ang totoo.

Hindi ko rin naman masisisi si Alpheus dahil sa naging desisyon niya dahil simula bata pa lang kami ay kinakatakutan na siya dahil sa apelyido niya. Walang may gustong makipag kaibigan sakaniya dahil ang iisipin ng iba ay ginagamit lang siya. Pero nung mag highschool kami, hindi niya na ginamit ang apelyido ng ama niya. At duon naman siya laging binubully ng tao. Dahil minsan niya nang itinangging anak siya ng ina nya dahil ayaw niyang katakutan muli siya ng ibang tao.

Mas okay na sakaniya yung ganon noon, yung kahit pagtripan siya huwag lang siyang katakutan ng iba.

Oh god, I just spoiled you about the love birds' love story.

I stood up and went out of the café. I want to relax and unwind so I decided to stroll. Hindi naman magagalit sila mommy at daddy dahil alam na nilang ganito ako.

I just want to feel to be love by someone who'll never cheat on me nor betray me. But I trust Him that He will give me the woman that will never do that to me, at the right time...

You don't need to rush love, my dear. It will come at the right time when you're ready to be in a relationship.

Being in a relationship is serious. Kung ang iba ay laro lang ang relasyon para sa akin ay hindi. Ang pagpasok sa relasyon ay isang malaking obligasyon din sa buhay.

Kapag nagmahal ka dapat may itira ka rin para sa sarili mo. Hindi naman masamang unahin din minsan ang sarili mo lalo na kung nanggaling ka sa isang relasyon na walang nagawa kundi ang saktan at pahirapan ka.

If you came from a toxic relationship then it's not bad to choose yourself after getting out in that toxic relationship of yours. But sometimes, relationship is not the toxic one, it's the person.

No one is perfect in this world, we all have scars. And those scars makes us different from others. Don't be afraid to show your scars to the world because your scars makes you to be you.

Why am I being like this? Gosh, I'm not a dramatic type of person.

It will be hard for me to find a new love. So I'll just enjoy my life being single. And wait for the right time and the person who I'll spend the rest of my life.

•End of Yaron Lincoln's POV

*****

•Bianca Evienne's POV•

"Gavin, may balita na ba tungkol sa nawawala nating pinsan?," Tanong ko sa pinsan kong abnormal

"Wala pa eh, sana nga makita na siya,"sabi niya at naka nguso pa

Pareho kami ni Gavin na only child kaya siguro close na close kami. Sa totoo lang gusto ko rin magkaroon ng kapatid, buti na lang at andito ang mga pinsan ko.

"Pupunta daw si Kuya Lincoln ngayon," sabi ni Gavin at agad na nagliwanag ang mga mata ko

Yayy!!! Pupunta dito sila Kuya Yaron!

"Kasama ba si Cal?,"tanong ko

"Malamang, alangan namang iwan nila si Calista mag-isa sa bahay nila diba?," Sarkastikong sabi nitong pinsan ko

Inirapan ko na lang siya. Nagtatanong lang naman ako! Malay ko ba kung nandon siya kila tita Aria.

"Gago,"

"Hoy inaano kita? Bakit mo ako minumura?,"nakakunot noo'ng tanong ko kay Gavin

"Bianca, kilala ko na kung sino ang nawawalang pinsan natin,"

Awtomatikong napalingon ako sakaniya dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Sino?!,"

"Naaalala mo pa yung kinausap nila Tita Elaine na batchmate natin? Yung may depression?,"tanong niya

"Oo naman, ang bait kaya niya- don't tell me she's our long lost cousin?," Nakangangang tanong ko

"Tumpak- teka nga isara mo nga muna yang bibig mo ang baho ng hininga mo," aniya

"Hoy ang kapal ng mukha mo! Kaka toothbrush ko lang, baka ikaw ang mabaho ang hininga. Kiningina neto," inis kong sabi sakaniya

"Joke lang naman Evienne, pero totoo si Leigh talaga yon. At tama ang hula ni Val," napabuntong hininga naman si Gavin

Kung ganon kasama lang pala namin ang nawawala naming pinsan.

"Edi sabihin natin kay Leigh-

"Hindi pwede, Bianca. Nakita mo naman ang naging reaction niya diba? Hindi pa siya handang malaman ang katotohanan. Ang magagawa lang natin ay protektahan siya,"putol ni Gavin sa sinasabi ko

May point naman siya, himala at may isip siya ngayon. Puro katarantaduhan yan sa school eh, kaya laging napapagalitan ni Tita Elaine.

Hindi naman kasi talaga Dean ang trabaho ni tita Elaine, isa sila sa may-ari ng malalaking negosyo dito sa bansa maging sa ibang bansa.

"Gavin! Bianca! Andito na ang kuya Lincoln niyo," sigaw ni mommy

Omygosh! Nagpaunahan kami ni Gavin bumaba ngunit sa kasamaang palad nahulog siya sa hagdan. HAHAHAHA tanga! Ayan takbo pa.

"Anong katangahan yan Gavin Kelle?,"natatawang tanong ko

"Eh kung tulungan mo kaya ako dito, hindi yung tinatawanan mo ako,"

Ang sungit pero eto na nga. Tinulungan ko siyang tumayo at ang gago nakipag unahan na naman lumabas papuntang backyard.

Nasa backyard din kasi ang hanging out place namin. Duon kami madalas nagiihaw ihaw o kaya naman nagja jamming.

"Titaaaaaa," sigaw ko

"Hoy Evienne hinaan mo nga yang boses mo,"sita sa akin ni Gavin

"Wala kang pake," sabi ko at inirapan siya

"Kaya wala kang boyfriend e, ang suplada mo," kantyaw nya pa

"Akala mo naman kung may girlfriend ka, hindi ka nga pinapansin ng crush mo e," sabi ko

"Grabe ka naman sa akin, Evienne," aniya at umaktong nasasaktan

Ay ewan ko sayo! Hindi naman kasi minamadali ang pag-ibig dahil kusang darating yan. Malay mo yung para sayo ay nasa tabi tabi lang. Tapos isa siyang takas sa mental, charot!

Hindi naman din kasi natin alam kung kailan iyan darating.

Ang mahalaga buhay pa ako. Nagsabi bang kailangan ko ng boyfriend kung nanjan naman ang pamilya ko. Pero minsan mapapa isip din talaga ako na "kailan kaya siya darating?"