five
704 Words
Chapter 5: Snapped
A N G E L
MY HEAD SWINGS right harshly, making me grit my teeth at the sting.
I lick my teeth.
"Now now Mother. No hitting remember?"
She seethes, her dull brain churning to come up with something.
"Give. Me. My. Baby." I enunciate, venom drowning every word.
"No," she says defiantly, a tremble in her voice.
Nothing gets me crazier than my child.
You take my baby, I take your life.
I may feel guilty for the rest of my natural born days, but I promise I'll make it worth it.
She knows this.
My child is the one thing she wouldn't dare try to hold against me.
I chuckle, amusement taking hold of me despite the circumstances.
"You believe you have choices?!" I chuckle sardonically.
She plants her feet in the ground as I glide toward her.
I feign suspicion, glancing around knowing no one else is here.
"The only choice you have," I murmur lowly in ear, "is to die. Give me my daughter Nala. Don't make me go there."
"You're not fit to take care of—"
"Get her!"
She scrambles around packing her baby bag. Finally she goes upstairs and gets my baby.
She knows I can't step foot in that house without having a flashback or a blackout.
Too many horrors here.
Finally she appears at the door with my baby girl. Hastily, I take her before she can retreat back into hell where she knows I can't reach her.
"My darling girl. Mommy missed you," I kiss my sleeping daughter's cheeks.
She's only three months old, but I'm trying to be better. Better for her.
I will be.
[•]
IT ALL HAPPENED too fast for me to grab it.
I left Hell happy until I realized...
I have nowhere to go.
No job.
No money.
This car will hold for a day or so, until it needs gas.
Then, we'll have find somewhere to hide and use the car as a house.
But I have no money. It's spring, so air and heat aren't really needed. But summer is fast approaching, and the SUV is black, which attracts heat.
Two days into this journey and I was losing my mind.
Seraphina was already out of milk; which wouldn't be a problem if I could eat.
But I have no money, so I have no food. For either of us.
If I can't eat, my body make mile to feed Sera, so she can't eat.
I've hunted for jobs, but I can't leave my daughter by herself, and I can't take her back to Nala's.
So here we are, in an alley, I'm pacing my daughter's in her car seat.
And she's wailing.
She's hungry I know.
But I can't do anything about it, and she won't listen.
I keep trying to tell her to wait.
"Hush baby, just... Wait. Momma's trying to get you food,"
So I try singing to her.
I sing and sing to my voice is nearly hoarse she keeps crying.
"Quiet darling. Mommy can't think. I'm trying to think,"
And she won't listen she keeps crying I can't think...
And then; I snap.
I carry a gun with me; I can't be caught dead without it. I was in a dark alley with my infant daughter so I took my gun from my purse, keep it in my hand just in case:
As I pacing I put it next to my head somehow, I guess just because I do that when I can't concentrate.
And in that moment everything came down on me.
She just wouldn't stop crying...
I just needed her to stop crying...
I don't know what happened but the next thing I know I'm pointing the gun at my daughter and yelling for her to be quiet.
And for a minute she is. But then she starts babbling and playing with the barrel of the gun.
And I just collapsed. I sank to floor and sobbed for a while.
I pointed a gun at my daughter
And I didn't even realize it
But like hail the truth falls on me
I
Didn't
Realize
It
But
My
Finger
Was
On
The
Trigger.
I dissolved into sobs.
- Writer
