What Do I Call You?

Chapter Sixteen

Pulling over by the familiar neighborhood I had once driven by that night I brought Nari home, had me hesitating heavily.

For a moment, I felt suddenly nervous and quite unsure.

What if she totally flipped out the instant she sees me? What if we ended up making another scene again? This is her neighborhood...

I can’t really endure yet another embarrassing moment in my life after everything that had happened to me when I had accidentally come into this place. I’ve already done enough damage to my battered ego the first night I had entered this town. And yet, I was still here. And I just got even more obsessed with doing all these absurd things for Nari. All just for the sake of knowing her…

She has been the very first and only girl that had made me feel and do all sorts of mortifying acts that I could only deeply regret for the rest of my life but still did it anyway. And now here I was, parked right in front of her house and suddenly feeling like a coward loser, trying to talk myself out of it.

As I stare straight through the windshield, I immediately felt like backing away and just drive the car back to the motel. But my hands had gone numb on the steering wheel somehow. And I could not even lift any of my legs while I dumbly froze on my seat.

What is wrong with me? Why am I suddenly chickening out?

I contemplated for another several more minutes until I had finally mustered enough courage and energy to get off of the driver’s seat. Once I started walking towards the driveway of Nari’s rundown house, I quickly paused for a second, and almost backed out again.

Get a grip, I urged myself.

And soon, the persistent side of me finally won my thoughts over, as I forced my feet to walk the path all the way up to the front porch of Nari’s house.

I was just about to knock on the door when it had suddenly opened in front of me. And a small figure immediately revealed its presence behind. I stared down at the person who was sharing the same features with Nari and I was soon met by a pair of brown eyes looking up to me with a startled face.

“Who are you?”

It was a young boy—very much younger than Henry. And he was probably between the ages of ten to twelve. Though I’m not really sure, to be honest. And as I carefully studied him with a surprised face, he slowly regarded me with a wary frown.

“Are you my sister’s boyfriend?” he suddenly asked with assertive eyes.

I was instantly caught off guard by that unexpected question he had raised towards me and I was deemed speechless for a few seconds. Did this kid just refer to me as her sister’s boyfriend? And by his sister, did he mean Nari?

“She just left a few minutes ago… You missed her.” The kid told me, his hand still gripping the doorknob. I was still frozen from where I stood to even react to that.

Do you need something with her? She won’t be back until tonight.”

His words somehow got me moving as I finally regained my ability to speak again.

“Is she?” I reaffirmed, feeling quite depleted about what the kid just said, and sighed, “Well, too bad then.”

I tried to come up with another plan but was left with nothing else but to retreat for now.

“Can you just tell her that I came by here when she finally gets home tonight?” I asked the kid instead.

“Who are you?” he frowned at me again.

“I’m a friend,” I answered him with a friendly smile. The kind that I felt would somehow ease his suspicion about me. “My name is Taiyo Takagi.”

“Bryan?” I heard another soft voice calling out behind the kid, way further inside the house, and I looked up through the opened doorway. It was kind of dark inside and I squinted into the view but saw nothing. It was a woman’s voice that had spoken, but it was not Nari’s.

“Who’s at the door?” the woman asked after a moment, her voice getting nearer.

“Nari’s friend!” the kid called back, shouting with that premature voice so that the woman could hear him from the back, “He said his name is Taiyo!”

“Taiyo?” The woman remarked in a question. And soon after, she finally appeared from a narrow hall behind the living room and our eyes met right away. She was a thin, fragile-looking woman, probably the same age as my mother’s. And she looked at me with a surprised face then quickly resorted back to smiling shyly.

“Hi.” She greeted me in a sweet calm voice. I felt instantly warmed by her friendly regard and I grinned back at her right away.

“A friend of Nari’s?” she asked with a clever smile, sounding a bit quite assertive. “Does she know you were coming by?”

It almost seemed like she knew me already. Though I don’t really recall ever meeting her since the night I came here. Did Nari somehow talk to her about me? The very thought of her doing that instantly made me feel quite conflicted. Did she tell her things about me in a bad way? Or was there even a good way?

But the woman just kept smiling at me, and it looked very sincere… Maybe Nari just sort of mentioned me before.

“She’s not here, unfortunately,” The woman eventually told me.

“Oh,” I weakly uttered back, shifting awkwardly from where I stood. The bouquet in my hand had somehow withered in my imagination after the remark, “I guess, I should just leave then. It was not really that important. I’ll just try some other time.”

I briefly smiled at her with a hesitant wave, feeling a little peeved. I was starting to finally step back from the doorway when she suddenly called me back.

“Wait,” she softly muttered and I paused, “You can just wait here.”

“No. It’s okay,” I politely declined with an embarrassed smile, taking another step back, “I don’t really think she’d like that. The thing is, she kind of hates me right now. So I think it’ll be much better if I try not to make her hate me even more.”

I sheepishly grinned as I said those words, though I felt so dumb for even admitting the truth. What the hell is wrong with me? And why am I acting like a shy teenager in front of these people?

“Nari hates you?” I heard the kid repeating this in front of me, making me feel sullen for a second. I turned to look down at him and bitterly smiled.

“I like to think she doesn’t,” I told him instead.

“Hmn.” The kid frowned anxiously, scratching the back of his head. And it seemed like the noncommittal response was actually a trend in this town.

“Why not drink some tea first before you leave, Mr. Taiyo,” the woman interjected from the distance and I instantly looked up to her, gaping. “Are you that too busy?”

“A-actually… no. That’s fine by me,” I obediently answered, feeling quite pressured all of a sudden. “I can have some tea, I guess. That’s really nice of you though. Thank you.”

And that was how I ended up walking inside Nari’s house for the very first time… And I didn’t even know what to do next. Feeling a little bit antsy with the sudden turn of events, I hesitated but eventually welcomed myself into the place with the pointless bouquet of flowers, still held in my hand.

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“I'm sorry. I can only serve you the cheap ones,” the woman shyly told me the moment I had finally stepped into the living room of their house.

"No, that's totally okay," I told her right away, feeling quite troubled over her worried voice, "Anything you have will actually do. Don't worry, I'm not that picky with drinks."

The woman smiled at my words as she turned and disappeared to the kitchen area and I was left in the living room, standing awkwardly. I soon started looking around and finally noticed the entire look of the house inside. The dim-lit interior was nothing but an ordinary conventional space designed for a simple middle-class family. It was even almost empty if not for a few worn-out pieces of furniture placed at random small spaces around it. I casually took note of everything else that my eyes could see. I soon landed my sight on a picture bolted on the wall that appeared to be Nari in her younger years. She looked really cute and very sweet in the picture, smiling with her red hair braided on one side. The image instantly reminded me of that short brief moment we had shared ten years ago. And I mentally imagined the young girl in the picture singing the song I had heard in the forest.

“Are you really my sister’s friend?”

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of the voice speaking behind me. I could even feel the kid watching me from the doorway in silence. I quickly looked over my shoulder in his direction and saw him frowning at me.

"Are you really her friend?" He repeated again, but this time it sounded more defensive.

“I’d like to believe so. Yes,” I vaguely replied, slowly turning my eyes around again. I skimmed over the entire area in the living room and I tried to imagine Nari walking down the hall by the corner of the area and running her way towards the door.

“I’m Maria. Nari’s mother, by the way,” the woman from a while ago, suddenly introduced herself as she appeared into the scene towards me with a warm smile drawn on her face. She consciously wiped her hand on the seams of her blouse before slowly holding it out to me for a formal shake. And I willingly reached my hand out to hold it, placing a courteous grin on my face as we shared a firm grip.

“Taiyo,” I said my name back, releasing her hand, “Taiyo Takagi.”

“Takagi?”

I jolted with a sudden pause, taking note of the surprising hitch on Maria’s voice when she had repeated my last name. I frowned at her as she quickly brushed off the expression with a hesitant grin, motioning at me towards their dining area.

“A foreign name, huh?” she retorted back, brushing the strange air in the atmosphere, and suddenly sounding distant with me. I frowned deeper at that slight waver when she spoke at me again. It sounded kind of suspicious but I dropped it right away when she distractingly offered me a seat at their dining table.

“I’m half-Japanese,” I shortly explained. And Maria just nodded to it, walking to the kitchen counter to fix the drink.

“You don’t live here, do you?” the kid, who had been called Bryan, had suddenly appeared by my side, still frowning at me.

“Yeah.”

“Then, you’re not really my sister’s friend. You were lying.”

“Bryan,” Maria’s threatening call instantly shut the kid off and he immediately went back to being pleasantly silent as he stubbornly turned around and skittered down the hall by their living room.

“Sorry about that. He just doesn’t really know how to treat new visitors,” Maria apologized, smiling sadly at the direction where Bryan had disappeared to. “We don’t usually get anyone visiting us aside from the people at the pub where Nari is working at nights.”

“Birds Haven?”

Maria turned her face at me as she gave me a pointed look.

“You know them?” she asked.

“Uh, kind of,” I told her hesitantly, “I actually met Nari there.”

“Really?” Maria raised a brow, almost like teasing and I just nodded back.

She didn’t say anything else after that and went back to making the tea. I just chose to watch her silently from my seat as she busied herself on the kitchen counter. After a few minutes of brewing, she finally turned towards me and handed me a cup. She settled herself on the seat across the table, in front of me, and smiled again.

“So how did you randomly stumbled across this town, Mr. Taiyo?” She suddenly asked me.

“Please just call me Taiyo, Maria,” I requested to her instead, avoiding answering the question right away, “I do insist.”

“Okay. Taiyo,” Maria obliged, snickering lightly as she paused.

“I like the sound of your name, what does it mean?”

Her sudden diversion of the topic had me feeling a bit relieved from the pressure of interrogation. She’s Nari’s mother, for Pete’s sake. How am I supposed to act and speak in front of her?

“Sun.” I meekly answered, somehow feeling embarrassed to even admit that fact.

“What a pretty name for a guy,” Maria commented, smiling sweetly.

“Yeah, it is,” I smiled back, “I like your name too, Maria.”

Maria immediately chuckled upon my remark, and the sound of her soft laughter somehow brought a nice warming feeling inside my chest. For some reason, I quickly felt comfortable as I soon forgot why I was even being nervous in front of her.

“Oh, you silly,” she retorted, “You’re making me embarrassed.”

“No, really,” I argued lightly, “It’s pretty and warm for a name… And it certainly fits you.”

She seemed to regard it deeply and smiled warmer.

“Thank you,” she said. And I silently responded to her with an appreciative nod. I then took the cup from the table to sip some tea. The warm liquid had smoothly eased down my throat, calming my nerves and I sighed in relief after taking a generous gulp.

“This is nice,” I sincerely intonated, “Thank you for the tea, Maria.”

“My pleasure,” she replied right away, “And I do hope Nari will come around to like you, Taiyo. You don’t seem like a bad guy to me. I could truly feel that you only have good intentions for her.”

The moment she had voiced out those words, I felt myself being lifted off from all the insecurities I had been musing for the past few days. She didn’t even realize how bad I had wanted to hear this. She was the first real person to really see past my superficial appearance and gave me the warmest regard I had ever received in my life.

“Yes. I do, actually,” I said with an earnest feeling, almost weeping with joy. I was no longer hesitating as I chose to be more honest with her, “That was why I came here. I wanted to formally let my intentions be known. Especially by you, since you’re Nari’s mother.”

“Really?” Maria just smiled back, gently receiving my words with a calm face, “And what are those, Taiyo?”

“I want to date your daughter,” I said right away, “This might sound too classic and old-fashioned. But I just want her to see how sincere I am with my feelings.”

“Do you like my daughter? Is that it?”

“Like is kind of filtering down what I really feel, Maria. The truth is, I have strong feelings for Nari. And I love her.”

I might sound crazy, but then… I’ve already been crazier enough to embarrass myself to so many people that I’ve already forgotten what decency truly meant.

“And how sure are you that it’s love?”

I paused for a moment, my eyes looking straight towards hers.

“Because I found her…” I said with my voice sounding much firmer and more collected, “And I can’t seem to leave her side anymore after that. I have many flaws and shortcomings but I would never try to hurt Nari intentionally. Would that have been enough? I can’t really explain it through words—“

“No,” Maria cut me off, but it didn’t sound like she was even perturbed with my words. She actually smiled and added, “It’s more than enough.”

“Thank you,” I sincerely said, never straying my eyes off of hers.

“I believe you, Taiyo,” she replied back, “I just wish Nari could see it too… And I hope she would.”

“Me too,” I said, musing.

“Someday…” I heard Maria uttering back to me.

“Yeah,” I also agreed with a faraway look on my face, “Maybe someday…”

…She could finally accept my feelings too.

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