Forever Yours

Rejection

Rosa

"I want a divorce."

The plate in my hands almost fell off.

I stared at my husband of three years from across the kitchen, certain he was joking. He had to have been joking. Because what he just said was not possible.

My husband loves me.

"David." I stepped forward gently, like the way you do when your legs are trembling but you don't want anyone to notice. "Please tell me this is one of your pranks."

"This is serious. Do I look like I'm joking to you?"

He looked serious. Too serious that it sent shivers down my spine. But that didn't mean it couldn't be a ploy.

"David loves me," I reminded myself. "He would never want to divorce me out of nowhere."

"It's not a prank, alright." His voice was firm and harsh. "I have found someone else"

Just the thought of him with someone else made my heart drop. Who... who is she?

Do I know her?

Why?

Those were all the questions that ran through my mind as he spoke.

We have been together since college. Promised each other forever. He even cried at our wedding, promising to be the best husband to me.

And now, only after three years... this.

"I can't pretend I love you anymore," he said like he was tired.

Please tell me why?

"You have changed. I mean, you have added a few pounds and I kept thinking maybe after a while things would go back to how it used to be, but nothing has changed and I can't anymore."

As he spoke, he looked at me the way people look at someone they feel sorry for. I couldn't believe it.

"Didn't you notice anything?" he asked.

"I gave signs."

"She and I met six months ago, at a conference, and it's been history ever since."

I almost died at the way he said it, like I meant nothing.

Why? I asked again.

"Ever since you miscarried the baby, you lost yourself, not just emotionally but most importantly physically, and with time, I just found you less wanting."

"We lost our child!" I held the table for support. I was grieving. And I still am. Our baby just died. It's not even up to a year, and already you are at the bed of another woman!

"It still not a reason to neglect your husband? So please sign the papers and let's put an end to this nonsense."

"No." That was all I could say.

"What do you mean by no?"

"I mean I refuse to give you a divorce."

"You can't keep me married to you forcefully."

He leaned forward, his hands slightly lifting up my chin.

"The past six months have been the most beautiful moment of my life, and I intend to keep it that way."

I opened my mouth to speak, but words were far.

Six months.

Then those signs came back without permission.

The constant late nights. The smell of perfumes on his clothes, those late-night calls and all those business trips.

I thought maybe it was his way of mourning our child. I thought he wanted to bury his mind into work so he wouldn't feel anything.

And David never said anything. Still present.

Still going for our couple therapy, acting like all was well.

But I should have noticed something was off.

Our s*x life was empty.

Every time he touched me, I could see the disgust in his eyes and could feel his cold touch.

I complained once. All he said was, "You know how busy I have been as of late, and with everything going, I just feel if I become too rough with you like before, I just might hurt you."

I had believed everything he said.

Because I thought he would never hurt me.

Enough. I shook the thought away.

I refuse to break completely in front of me.

"So divorce is what you want, right? Not a problem," I said carefully.

David pulled out his pen without a word.

He turned it towards me, gesturing towards the papers.

It was a full minute before I reached for the pen. I walked towards the table on trembling legs.

Holding the pen as tears blinded my eye, I looked towards him for something, maybe if he looked into my eyes he would remember us.

But all I saw was just a blank stare.

"Okay." I would sign the papers. But before I do, I looked at David. The least he could do was tell me her name.

"What is her name?" I asked.

"Lena."

Lena.

Just her name made my chest tighten up.

Lena Rogers, my best friend.

My best friend since we were thirteen. The woman who stood by me during all my miscarriages.

She even cried at my wedding like it was hers. But I should have known, since David and I started dating in college , she would always tell me how lucky I was to have someone like him at my side.

We were sisters practically.

So it meant all those times she came to visit me, it wasn't me she truly came to see.

All those late-night calls I heard were with her.

"All along," I spoke. My voice broke slightly. "The two people I love and trusted the most." Were loving each other behind my back.

"Take your papers and leave."

He just walked towards the table, not even sparing me a glance.

"I hope you find happiness somewhere else."

That was the last thing he said before slamming the door.

That was when my legs gave up.

I watched myself hit the floor hard, but somehow felt nothing.

I stayed there, tears sliding silently down my face.

I thought I had married forever.

But oh... how wrong was I.

But the worst part?

David wasn't always like this.

All through the years we had been together, he was nothing but amazing.

And I was once perfect in his eyes.

Back then, I had the body of a model.People often even thought I was one.

Then came the first miscarriage.

My weight changed due to the pregnancy.

I tried to manage it, but all I could think of was trying to conceive again.

Then this one destroyed me completely.

I stopped leaving the house, even quit my job.

Spent more of my time crying in the room that was supposed to be the nursery, holding those tiny clothes that my baby never got to wear.

Worse, David was never by my side. I heard nowhere to go, food became my closest ally.

By the time I realized it, everything had changed.

My body... And now my life.

All I could do as I laid there was compare us.

I knew I wouldn't survive the comparison.

Things would have been easier to endure if things had always been this way.

But it wasn't.

And that was what made it even more unbearable.

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