The Walls of Jericho

Trust Issues

There’s a lot to consider about what Channing’s said.

Not merely the fact that I now understand wolves to be physical in some seriously negative ways too.

I can’t imagine Ferdi wants me to call in that life debt, which makes it even weirder that he bothered to tell me, because it doesn’t make me trust him more. It makes me trust him less.

The insight is powerful though, and it explains a lot about why his sister, Her Royal Rudeness Rebecca couldn’t get him to challenge Channing. She and Ferdi may be an alpha bloodline, but only one with an alpha drive is Rebecca. She’s the leader of the two—the one who sets her mind, sets her course, and follows through, even when she doesn’t have the help she needs to get the job done otherwise.

There’s no doubt she’s also somewhat sneaky and seriously conniving, which is probably a family trait. But I don’t get the feeling she’s lying, and she’s the only wolf in Avernus who has questioned the reason for the war between wolves and dragons on a purely moral basis. Unlike Channing, who believes the dragons have to die, but doesn’t want to expend much effort or lose lives to do it, Rebecca recognizes some other value to dragonkind, and she’s not convinced by anything she’s learned to make exception.

Which is a roundabout proof that women are more thoughtful than men. Or at least in this singular circumstance.

By comparison to his sister, Ferdi is a follower, at least based on everything Channing's said. While that might make him perfect for the Avernus role that he’s in, being a perfect soldier has some serious drawbacks in my humble opinion. Sure, he’s fearless—or I assume reasonably so—and he follows orders without question, which does require a lot of trust in the person who’s giving them, namely Channing.

As a wolf, I’m sure Ferdi thinks on his feet and completes his missions without a good deal of direction. He’s trained his whole life for it, after all. Unfortunately, he doesn’t strike me as the type with much in the way of independent thought. He’s not the kind who’s loyal but might sometimes contradict his superiors if necessary when the orders he’s given are morally wrong.

That’s more like Damien.

A new thought strikes me then, about Ferdi and this life debt. “Isn’t his only living family Rebecca?”

“To my knowledge, yes,” Channing replies. “But should he mate and have children, you could demand any of those lives as well.”

If Ferdi mates. 

Given the reputation he has in Crossroads and the one he’s already developed here in Belfast in a few short weeks, he doesn’t strike me as the kind likely to mate. He’s effectively a lone wolf. He operates under pack conditions, but he’s not dedicated and devoted to the pack like Channing and Damien are. For a wolf like Ferdi, that means there’s little actual value to that ‘life debt’ he’s given me.

Which makes it even more strange. 

It might even make him more dangerous than he’s been. A wolf with nothing to lose will do just about anything, even the unconscionable.

When my thoughts center on our conversation again, I try to diffuse any suspicions Channing may have. “Listen, after that garbage last week with Rebecca, it’s unbelievably tempting to call in that life debt—with her,” I admit, and there’s a part of me that means it since I’m still kind of perturbed. “I’m still going to pass.”

Channing gives me an approving smile. The way it softens the hard planes of his face and the adoring way he looks at me remind me again how strikingly handsome he is. And how much he loves me. “I know, babydoll. It’s what makes you a perfect Luna.”

I sort of doubt he’d still think I was ‘perfect’ if he knew that my original plans to kill the dragon have shifted, and now my plan is to get rid of him by presenting his mate, thus perpetuating dragonkind. But it’s a sweet sentiment, and I have to love him for it.

“I get how the life debt works,” my brows draw together and I give a little shake of my head, “but I still don’t understand why he would give it. Doesn’t that worry you? I mean really, he did try to kill me, you know.”

“So did Damien,” Channing challenges. “More than once.”

“You and I see those situations differently, beefcake,” I counter. “Damien has questioned where my loyalties lie and challenged your decisions. I’m not arguing that he wouldn’t try to kill me, but the approach is different—he asks questions first. Ferdi just launched in to kill me. Without question and against your alpha authority.”

The faintest flicker in my mate’s beautiful blue eyes tells me he understands what I’m getting at. It also tells me he has misgivings about doubting one of his best friends and a high-ranking wolf in his pack. I have a sneaking suspicion if it ever comes down to defending against one of Ferdi’s mindless attacks, it’s going to be up to me to do it.

Perhaps that life debt is worth something after all.

“Tell me what you meant about Ferdi’s family having messed him up.”

The redirect seems to set Channing more at ease, but he still sighs. “That explanation might get kind of convoluted.”

“Why?”

“Because it gets into pack dynamics and the way power works in Avernus.”

I arch my brows. “Seems like a conversation you ought to be having with your formerly human mate anyway, don’t you think?”

There’s the faintest furtive glimmer in Channing’s eyes and I wonder what it’ll take to weasel that information out of him. “Alright.” His tone is resigned. Clearly this isn’t a task that he relishes. “You know there’s a hierarchy in wolf packs, where the highest ranking position is the alpha.”

“Right.”

“Well, any wolf can be alpha—the only real requirement is you’re strong enough to take it, and strong enough to keep it. It’s a dictatorship in that regard, with one wolf or alpha pair having essentially all the power in the pack.”

“I get that too.”

“It’s kind of like the sword of Damocles. Does that make sense?”

“Sure. The power is a heavy burden. On one hand, you have it, but its judicious and just use makes it ungainly to wield and there are constant repercussions,” I summarize.

“Exactly.” He nods, then studies me, collecting his thoughts. “The overall goal is that the alpha improves and safeguards the lives of all pack members. In theory, being the strongest, he also passes on the best leadership traits to his offspring, insuring there are wise and strong future alphas.”

“Aah.” It’s a drawn-out sound of comprehension and I punctuate it with a knowing smile. “Is that why you’re so keen to impregnate me?”

That scarred brow of Channing’s flicks and he flashes me one of his heart-stopping smiles. “Not remotely,” he assures me in a seductive purr and with a pointed stare, then flexes his hips and stirs up a bunch of distracting sensations at the point where we’re joined. “It’s just really satisfying and enjoyable doing that to you.”

I blush furiously and quail under his eye. “Okay. Back to Ferdi and his messed up pack dynamic.”

Still grinning and obviously pleased with himself for outmaneuvering me that way, my mate continues. “Ferdi’s family might be the shortest running alpha line in Avernus history, and there’s a great deal of scandal involving how their ascent to power happened.”

My brows draw together with concern and my instincts tell me I’m about to get to the bottom of why I’m struggling with Ferdi and the whole life debt thing. “Why?”

“Well, mostly it goes back to that thing about being alpha,” he explains. “Among those alpha traits should be loyalty and honor, but those can be confusing to define sometimes in terms of any individual’s actions. We’re wolves, and much of what feeds those definitions for us doesn’t come in the form of hard and fast rules. It’s innate.”

“So his dad broke the guidelines of the wolf code? How?”

“Not just his dad, his uncle too. But what complicates it is that there aren’t really rules. Do you see?”

I nod. There's a clear distinction between 'ethical' and moral', and it's a twisted reality of life that moralistic thinking can produce unethical behaviors. This is the concept Channing is trying to define. For wolves, it gets even more difficult, and I can easily see why. 

There are five foundations of morality — harm and care, fairness and reciprocity, authority and respect, faction and loyalty, and purity and sanctity. Of those five, issues of authority and respect, faction and loyalty, and purity and sanctity are not inherently ethical or unethical concepts. They're tools for promoting social cohesion and order, which is a huge part of the dynamic of a wolfpack. 

I've read enough H.P. Lovecraft to know any tool can be made into a weapon, depending on how the user wields it. The analogy might be apropos for Ferdi. 

“Go on. What happened?”

“Ferdi’s family belonged to a splinter party of Avernus that gained some real traction under his father and uncle. They were loud and outspoken critics of the previous alpha policies that guided Avernus’ efforts in dragon-hunting.” Channing elbows his supporting arm under him, then repositions over me. “Much as I don’t want to do this, I want to be where I can see you better.”

He plants a lingering kiss at the nape of my neck, slowly separating us at the same time. Rolling me to one side and face up, he throws the pillows off the side of the bed. Then he levers himself between my legs again, resting lightly on top of me, and drags the blankets over us both. “Much better. Where was I?”

“Splinter party. Critics of the Avernus alpha.”

“Oh yeah,” he says, reorienting his thoughts to our topic of discussion. “They were big proponents of a new policy of hunting the human mages the dragons seemed to need, since humans are significantly weaker and easier to kill.”

“Much as it pains me to admit it, that’s kind of sound thinking, isn’t it?”

“In this case, mostly no. It's narrow thinking.” He shakes his head. “Werewolves in particular, but to a large extent, dragons too, are convergent species with humans. We’re supernatural subpopulations hidden amid their numbers, but we both need them. It’s the human culture that dominates the planet and both species move within it, influencing it. Where dragonkind and wolfkind disagree is the valuation of that relationship with humans. Still following?”

“Mostly. It’s convoluted politics, like you said,” I admit. “What’s the CliffsNotes version of what the issue was with the splinter cell?”

He inhales deeply, focusing on a point above my head. “Well, it’s that wolves don’t bite the hand that feeds them.”

“Got it.”

“Even though at that time humans were participating in massive witch hunts and killing their own in droves, that wasn’t our way— wolves don't kill their own if its at all avoidable. It posed a risk to wolfkind to join such a movement. It made us vulnerable to exposure. In a population as destructive and warlike as humans, that’s a death wish and a death sentence. If they’d turned on us, with their numbers, they’d have wiped us out.”

“But Ferdi’s family didn’t subscribe to that belief.”

Channing shakes his head. “No. Their belief was that werewolves are experts at guerilla warfare, and so taking out the mages was a viable option. But they refused to consider that once the dragons got wind of it, they’d have to defend the mages. Then we were back in the same place as we started, but with a three-way war that engaged the humans too.”

“Then how did Ferdi’s dad wind up as alpha? He challenged?”

“He did, but not fairly.”

Oh crap. There it is, the issue of fairness I expected was coming. “I see. Since there are only innate rules, a ‘fair’ challenge becomes a matter of opinion.”

“Exactly. Ferdi’s dad saw an opportunity when the alpha at the time was wounded during a fight with a dragon.”

The magnitude of deviousness that explanation provides hits me hard. “You’re kidding.”

With a disappointed shake of his head, Channing replies, “No. There was no question that the alpha would have survived his dragon-inflicted injuries. Facing a challenge by a strong and fully functional wolf, the injured alpha couldn’t win, but he tried, and died. That put Ferdi’s dad in power. He lost it a short time later, the same way.”

Horrified, I stare at my mate. “To Ferdi’s uncle?” 

When he nods, suddenly, all the pieces fall into place. “That battle against Cadmus, Ferdi’s dad was injured and Ferdi’s uncle challenged, right?”

“Yes. I love how smart you are, babydoll.” Channing nibbles along my neck, scooting himself lower along my body so he can harass my exposed breasts too.

“What happened to the splinter cell? Does it still have any power? Does it have a voice?”

“No. In fact, it proved its own flaws. While they were in power, both Ferdi’s dad and his uncle put wolves who shared their belief in frontline positions to hunt and kill the mages,” Channing supplies. “That’s when what we’d known all along would happen did.”

“The dragons rose to the defense of the mages you were killing. Then wolves started dying in droves.”

“Exactly. But Ferdi’s uncle thought he was smarter. As the splinter cell's numbers fell, he sent his internal enemies after the mages instead. He put them on the frontlines to die in contests against dragons that they couldn’t win. A wolf essentially became the wolves' executioner. And Cadmus wasn’t the first or the last to take up protecting his mage.”

“Which is why the dragon held me prisoner as Mia.”

He meets my eyes, then nods solemnly. “I think so. On the one hand, Ferdi's family helped Avernus by purging a distinctly un-wolflike and un-alpha-like movement. Most of those left are like Ferdi and Rebecca. Wolves living quietly with the shame. Many of them were orphaned pups who wound up raised by other pack members who support the current alpha beliefs.”

“So that’s why you think Ferdi’s messed up in the head,” I seek to confirm.

“There’s an edge of condemnation in your voice, Jericho.” Brushing the hair back from my face, he studies me. “Ferdi’s not an alpha. He’s a follower. He follows me now, he followed his uncle and his dad before that.”

“What you’re essentially saying is he’s a pardoned criminal,” I throw out. “How do you know he wasn’t a committed member to that splinter faction and now he’s just biding his time until it comes into power again?”

Immediately, Channing gets defensive. “I think if that was the case, A) he’d take a mate and keep her banging out kids like a puppy mill, and B) he’s one of my best friends, Jericho, so I think I’d know.”

I can see this isn’t going to get me anywhere with Channing, and there’s no benefit to pursuing it. I have what I need—confirmation that my instinct is right and Ferdi isn’t trustworthy. Not just to me, but to my mate as the alpha too. “Okay.”

He eyes me with not just a little skepticism. “That was too easy.”

I laugh. “You think that was easy?”

Channing fixes me with a wry stare. “I know you think I’m nothing but a beefcake, Jericho. And I may not be as smart as you are, but you’re still my mate. I know you. When your stubborn ass doesn’t put up a fight, that’s when I know it’s time to worry.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I arch my body to him with a dangerous smile. The slightest quiver of that scarred brow of his is all I need to confirm my distraction in succeeding. “And I’m your mate, beefcake. That means I know you too. I’m exactly and only the amount of stubborn it takes to deal with you. If you’re going to defend Ferdi indiscriminately, then you’ll be responsible when the horsehair breaks and the sword of Damocles falls, just like every other alpha before you.”