How Lost Souls Love

To-Sua Trench- part 1

Dax POV

Maisie fell asleep almost as soon as we pulled away from the house. I wanted to tell her that Noah loved her. That he was only saying what he did because he thought it was what’s best for her. 

But I know she already knows all those things. 

It’s a two hour drive from Lottos house to the trench and Maisie sleeps soundlessly the whole time.  Having her head on my shoulder makes me feel good inside. I know she doesn’t sleep well. We text a lot through the night about how sleep eludes is both. 

When I finally pull into the parking lot and put the Jeep in park I can’t help but want to turn the car around and keep driving just to avoid waking her up. 

I would be completely happy with staying in the car and letting her sleep wrapped around my arm and holding my hand but I know Noah and the guys won’t be too far behind. Before I wake her up I kiss the top of her head gently and hope that it sends her some comfort. 

“Maisie..” I call her name gently. I don’t want to rock her or yell because I don’t want to chance waking her up in a panic. Instead I call her name again and just run my thumb over her cheek with my other hand. 

She stirs gently and stretches a bit. She looks around at her surroundings groggily before grunting and turning to bury her face back into my arm. 

I chuckle and squeeze her hand as I lean into her. “Come on beautiful. It’s time to wake up.” 

Maisie takes a deep breath, lifting both of us up a little. She pulls away from me to stretch and the instant cold I feel of her being gone makes me want to pull her back into me. 

She rubs her eyes and looks out the window again. “What’s this place called again?”

“To-Sua Ocean Trench.” I say smiling as I look out over the grass in front of us. “It’s beautiful. When we get past this grass area, there are little huts sprawled out that people like to hang out under. Then there’s a trail that leads down to the trench. You’ll love it.” 

Another deep breath. She just stares. 

“Hey..” I say, getting her attention. She turns to me slowly and slumps back against the seat. “Noah is trying his best, you know. He’s always been your protective big brother. It’s not gonna change now.” I say trying to sound like it’s a positive thing. 

“I know. It’s just… He can’t protect me. Not when the only thing wrong with me is myself.” She says frustrated. “I know the only reason I’m upset is because I’m tired and I’m having a bad bout of anxiety. He doesn’t understand that I can separate the anxiety of that night and the anxiety of everyday life. He doesn’t even try to understand me when I do try to explain it.” 

“Your right. He doesn’t understand.” I say looking right at her and being really honest. “But I can tell you that he wants to. I stayed with him after your dad went to New York. I can tell you that all Noah had on his mind when we were waiting to hear back from him was about how he could be a better brother and help you through it.” 

For a second Maisie looks guilty. I don’t want that, but I do want her to realize that all of this, even the crazy overbearing part, is Noah trying to understand. 

“Noah always wants what’s best for you. Seeing you in pain or sad.. it’s hard on him. He loves you Maisie. And why wouldn’t he. You're pretty amazing.” I say with a smile as I reach out and brush back a loose strand of her hair. “You just need to be patient with him, and he will be patient with you.”

“Was he this bad with you?” 

I think about it. I remember how much pain I was in and how much I just wanted to be alone. Noah tried everything he could to be there for me but for months I pushed him away. 

“He wanted to be..” I chuckle. “But I pushed Noah and Lotto away a lot. I didn’t want anyone I cared about around me after..” I say stopping myself. 

“Sorry.. I didn’t mean to.” Maisie said reaching over and wrapping her hand around mine. I just shake my head. 

“It’s fine. I just mean I kind of wish I had let him be there for me is all. Maybe I would be doing better than I am now.” 

As we stare at eachother I see Noah pull into the parking lot and swing to a stop a couple spaces away from us. 

 “Just do me a favor ok?” I twist my hand around so I can tangle my fingers with hers. “He's gonna feel bad about earlier. Just try to look at all this from his point of view too, I know it's hard. You know i understand.. I wouldn't be asking you to do it if i didn't think it would be ok.so just try ok?” 

She squeezes my hand and looks at me with a small smile nodding slowly. 

Maisie POV

Dax, Maru and Shawn all went ahead of us to give me and Noah the chance to talk. I know Dax is right. I can see the pain and guilt in Noah's eyes and I hate that I put it there. 

“Im sorry Noah.” I say as we walk through the parking lot towards the grass area DAx and the others disappeared towards.

“You shouldnt be the one apologising Maisie. I shouldn't have yelled at you…”

“I don't mind that you yelled at me Noah. You're my brother, we are supposed to yell at eachother every now and then.” I say smiling and nudging his arm lightly. “What got to me was you telling me that I should stay home. And asking me if i needed dad like i'm 6 years old and crying because i hate thunder and lightning.'' I grumbled.

Noah chuckles. “You still don't like thunder and lightning Maiz..”

“You're missing the point Noah.” I say shooting him a look. He sighs.

“I know what you're trying to say. I need to trust that if you can't handle something youll be honest and tell me. And unless you do, then I need to relax and let you take your time.”

I look up at Noah and can't help but feel shocked. Dax was right. Noah did get it.. He just isn't doing the greatest job figuring out how to help me. He wants to take on all my pain and in the process he’s just taking on too much.

“Hey.” I pull Noah to a stop and force him to look at me. “You know I love you right.”

He smiles. “”Ofcourse.”

“And you know that I appreciate everything it is you do for me. Even when you're overdoing it?” I laugh

He nods again. Noah wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest tight. “I just want you to be the safest little sister ever. Especially because you're my little sister. But i promise i'll try to chill out a little bit.” He kisses me on the head and then holds out his back pack to me. “Here, I know the only reason you didn't put on a suit is because I was rushing you. There's a bathroom over there. Go change, i know your gonna want to get i the water.” he says smiling

I laugh and snatch the clothes before pecking him on the cheek and running to the bathroom. I pull out my new neon bikini and throw it on. I glance back at the bag and my heart drops as I realise Noah forgot to bring my swim shirt. I couldn't just wear my bikinis in front of them …

Not that i was fat or anything. But because I had scars on my body from the night I wanted to forget. If Noah or anyone saw them it would definitely ruin the mood. I cracked the door open to try and Call Noah and ask him for his shirt, but I couldn't find him anywhere. When i did spot him he was off near one of the huts smiling as he talked on the phone, no doubt on the phone with his new girlfriend Amy. 

I sighed and thought of my other options. My eyes landed on Dax. “I guess i have no other choice.” I grumbled. I grab my phone from my shorts pocket and call him. I watch from the bathroom door as he looks at his screen and smiles before answering. It makes me feel good inside.

“Did you fall in or something?” he teases laughing.

“What?! No!” I laugh. “I need a t-shirt to wear over my suit, and Noah is busy. Do you think you can bring me one of his?” I ask sweetly.

He looks around in Noah's bag and frowns. “I don't see any extra shirts baby girl.”

My heart flips over and over in my chest. Did he.. Did he just call me baby girl?

“I think I have an extra in the jeep in my bag? Do you care if you wear one of mine?” he asks looking over to the parking lot where the jeep is. I think about wearing Daxs shirt... Do I mind? 

Pshh. NO. But he most definitely was never getting it back if it smelled like him. I don't know why but something about being near Dax and being able to smell him just puts me right to sleep.

“No that's ok.” I smile. He chuckles through the phone and I watch him as he smiles like an i***t and walks back to the jeep.

“Ok i'll be there in a sec.” then he hangs up. I close the door to wait for him. A few seconds later and I get a small knock on the door. I open it and stick my head and my hand out.

“Here babe.” Dax says. 

My heart stops. I look right at him and I'm sure that my face is as red as a tomato. “What?” I ask looking at him with what I'm sure is the dumbest look ever on my face. He just smiles. 

“Sorry. It's just the way i talk.” he says with a smirk on his face. I give him a look before laughing and closing the door. I unfold the s**t DAx gave me. It's a black Linkin Park T-shirt. I love that band. I slip it on over my bikini and cant help but pull the fabric up to smell it. It smells like Dax.

Axe body spray and pine body wash scent. I smirk to myself. He was never getting this back.

I pull my hair out of my bun and let it fall around my shoulders. I grab my clothes from the floor and throw it back in Noah's backpack and then finally open the door. Dax was leaning against the wall in front of me and turned when I stepped out.

“Ok, I'm ready.” I smile. Dax stops completely as he looks at me. His eyes look down to my bare toes, back up my bare legs, and then over his shirt, before finally staring straight into my eyes. Suddenly I'm shifting nervously. “What? Do I look weird or something?” i ask self consciously 

“No it's not that..” he says laughing nervously and running his hand through his hair. 

“Then what is it?” I say looking down at myself

“It just looks better on you.” he shrugs.

“Maisie!”Noah calls from the edge of a fence lining. I Blush and run past Dax to Noah, swinging his bag over my shoulder as I go. “What's with the shirt?” he asks when i catch up to him.

“You forgot my swim shirt.” I say shrugging. Then I look past him and see at least a 20 foot drop in front of me. It was a giant whole the size of a football field and cascading down the walls were the most beautiful flowers and plush greenery I had ever seen in my life. I could see stairs leading down to the deep water at the bottom. Two people were giggling and splashing around.

“Welcome to To-Sua Trench.” Noah smiled at me broadly. He took my hand and together we ran down to the ramp that led toward the water. When we reached the end of the trail leading down there was a long ladder to climb down to a small dock to get to the bottom. 

“You gotta jump.” Maru says smiling from beside me.

“What?!” I yell as pure adrenaline shoots through me.

“She doesn't have to jump.” Dax says shooting a dirty look at Maru. “just cuz you idiots like to jump, dont force her to do it.”

“Wait, you guys jump from here?” i say in complete disbelief.

Shawn answers by launching himself over the edge and clearing the ladder with a loud ‘Wahooo!’ on the way down. I scoff and laugh at him as his head reappears in the wter shaking the hair from his face. 

“Come on cuz! You're a local now! It's like a right of passage!” he yells smiling.

“When in Samoa.” Noah shrugs and jumps off the ledge after Shawn. Maru followed behind him both yelling like idiots. The two random swimmers that were in the water below us were now whooping and cheering me on.I kind of felt like i wanted to do it but my heart was pounding.

“Trust me?” Dax says holding out his hand to me and smiling a genuine Dax smile.

Looking at him I can't help but feel safe. I nod and take his hand.

“One?” I say stepping forward. Dax stops me and has me take a step back showing me that he means to get a running start.

“Two..” he says, winking at me. I giggle. 

“Three!” we shout and the next thing i know my feet are flailing in the air. 

I'm flying. 

I'm falling.

I’m.. free.