THE SIREN'S BECOMING.

WHAT COULD'VE BEEN

THIRD POV.

Anna was miserable after Neegan's death. She hadn't really thought it through when she had decided to do it. She didn't know how fond she had been of him until he passed away, or maybe it was the fact that in his last moments, she got a glimpse of what could have been.

She had never imagined a life without him, and she had found herself thinking of a life together with him. The sad part wasn't the fact that she had lost him but the fact that she had lost any chance she ever had of being happy.

As his casket was lowered, she was beyond herself with grief. After he had passed away, she had kept herself busy so as not to think of him. Every time he crossed her mind, she couldn't help but cry. She had caused this hurt, but couldn't even handle a second of it.

For a long time, she had wondered how things had gone wrong, but as she sat at the front row of the funeral of a man she had thought she didn't like, she finally realized how things had gotten so dark. For a while, she had thought that she had been cursed not to ever find love, but the root of all her problems had been Vincenzo.

She had met him when she barely knew anything, and maybe she had been a fool for thinking that man was going to love her. She had imagined a life full of happiness, but that man had done nothing but hurt her over and over again.

She had cried so much that it reached a point where it didn't hurt anymore. Loving him had been like a curse, and in the midst of that, all she had lost herself without knowing.

Maybe if she had met Neegan first, then things would have been different, right? Then maybe she would have been capable of living and had loved that man the way he had deserved to be loved.

Anna thought that Neegan had died of mixoside, but he had died of a broken heart. He had loved her so much and in his last moments, had realised that she had caused all the pain and all the hurt, and he couldn't handle that betrayal.

The worst part was that even as he had lain there staring at the woman who had betrayed him, he felt nothing but love for her. He wondered what could have happened to her to turn her into the person she had become, and all he did was feel sorry.

She was a broken person, and another person had been hurt by involving themselves in her chaos. She was like a bomb that kept exploding, and it didn't matter who was around her at the time; nothing could protect you from her ruins.

He had just wished that he could have been able to show her that she was worth love. He wanted so badly to have met her first because then it meant she could have been able to love him. He wanted so much to make her feel safe, but somebody else had already made her feel like she had to be on guard all the time.

He was jealous most of all. Jealous that Vincenzo had gotten to experience her love. He had been loved by her so much that it had destroyed her.

Neegan wondered what it felt like to be loved and cherished by her. The light that had been in her eyes had gone, and she had turned into somebody else altogether. She was like a volcano, but Neegan hadn't cared about it; if anything, he liked fires.

He thought he could handle whatever flames she started, not knowing he was going to be consumed by the fire.

Anna couldn't handle grief. It was not, as there was a step-by-step tutorial on how to handle it.

How could she handle grief when the feeling of losing him forever was tearing her apart?

She felt as if she was paralysed as she watched the man she loved be put six feet under.

She had grasped love, and when she had just gotten a taste, it slipped through her fingers. How could she be mad, though, when it was all her fault?

How could she go on knowing that the reason she was hurt was because of her own choices? Leaving Vincenzo had hurt her, but losing Neegan had broken her. She felt helpless knowing she could have been happy with him, but chose a life she didn't even know she would survive.

She was dying inside, and none of the people around her could tell. She wanted to blame someone, but there was no one to blame. She couldn't stand to see Neegan leaving her, but she had made an irreversible decision, and she had to live through the consequences.

She deserved the pain, she thought. She wanted it to be a dream, but she knew it wasn't. The days they laughed were not enough to last her a lifetime of misery. He had left her way too soon. He had loved her for a short time, and in that moment, it felt like they were ripping a part of her heart away from her.

Heaven had gained somebody great, and all she wanted was to go be with him. She wanted just one conversation with him. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. She wanted him to know how happy he had made her for the times they had spent together. She wanted him to know that he had been a healthy mistake from the chaos that had filled her life, but it was too late.

She wanted him to know that he had gone with her heart because how could she be able to love someone else? How could she be happy with what she had done?

How could she be able to love someone else when the only person she wanted was gone and never to be seen?

This is not what she wanted. It wasn't what she had figured would have happened when Neegan was no longer in the picture. She was a mess when she needed to be put together.

She needed to go on with life, but how could she when she had smashed her own heart with her boot?