I Thrived

Kabanata 1: I Like You

"Aalis ka na agad?" tanong ni Chris. Yeah the guy in the bar.

Tumango lang ako and I wink at him. "Thanks for tonight," sabi ko at nag-flying kiss.

Natawa naman siya sa ginawa ko. Well that's me. I just want someone to spice up my night. They enjoyed it naman as much as I did. Who would've regrets? Sa ganda kong ito?

Kinuha ko na lang lahat ng gamit ko at umalis na agad. I need to go home before my parents will know na wala na naman ako sa bahay. Yeah I've been doing this kind of things since I can't remember. Pumapayag naman sila if sina Riche kasama ko. But if they'll know na tumakas ako, baka pumunta na kaluluwa nila sa inferno.

They think that I'm a dalagang Pilipina but yeah. I just can't. Parang tuta lang ako sa bahay sunod-sunuran. I'm the least favorite that's why I've been thriving for something they can't give to me.

"Want me to drive you home?" napalingon agad ako sa likuran ko. Bakit nakasunod ito?

"Why are you following me? We're done already, Oh baka gusto mo ng round 3?" I asked him.

He's just staring at me too. Giving the same intensity I gave him. Sarap tusukin ng mata.

"I just want to know where you live," he said almost begging. I just want to know mukha mo.

"I live in my parents house so thanks and bye," I said while pushing him. Harang-harang pa porket my abs.

"I like you," he said while staring at me. Ang bilis naman bard. Am I that pretty? Hirap talaga maging maganda. Nginitian ko naman siya.

"Opps sorry but I don't like you," sabi ko at iniwan siya.

Kinuha ko yung phone ko para tawagan si Riche. Siya lang may dalang sasakyan. Ayaw ko namang mag commute, I'm afraid. Kaakit-akit pa naman tong suot ko. But who cares about how you dressed up right? Rape has no exception.

"You'll like me eventually," sabi pa rin niya. Nakasunod sa ‘kin ‘di ko nalang pinansin. He's so annoying.

"Where are you?" tanong ko kay Riche ng sagutin niya tawag ko.

"Hmm" punyeta itong malanding 'to. Umungol ba naman halatang sarap na sarap.

"Okay bye," iritadong sabi ko at pinatay na lang yung tawag, nag-abang muna ako ng taxi. Walang choice.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you home?" tanong ni Chris.

Iritado ko siyang tiningnan. Nakatingin lang din siya sa ‘kin.

"You sure you'll take me home or you'll take me to your home?" I said while eyeing him.

Halata talagang galing sa jugjugan 'yung hitsura niya. Hot and messy.

"Thanks for suggesting," nakangiting sabi niya and dragged me to his car. I'm not marupok but yeah I'm just a lovely woman. Tiningnan ko naman 'yung hotel na pinagdalhan niya sa akin. So cheap he didn't even booked a presidential suite.

Well if this is really what he wants then I'll give it to him. Tiningnan ko naman siyang seryosong nagd-drive. I reached for his hand and put it on my lap. He glance at me pero binalik din naman agad ‘yung tingin niya sa daan.

I touched his torso and slowly unbuttoned his polo. So damn hot. "You're trying to get us killed woman," pigil niya sa ‘kin.

"Oh am I?" I asked sensually, pinaganda ko pa boses ko. Kung may igaganda pa yun. Why do I sound so gay? f**k this voice of mine.

I slowly reach for his pants. He's big down there. Kaya nga nag away pa kami kanina kasi he's so full of energy while me nasasaktan na.

Kukuhanin ko na sana ‘yung sandata niya ng tumunog ‘yung phone ko. "Istorbo." bungad ko sa tumawag sa ‘kin. Narinig ko namang tumawa si Chris sa gilid ko.

Kaya dinakma ko agad yung alaga niya. "f**k," he hissed.

Serves you right.

"Sa’n ka?" tanong ni Mia sa kabilang linya. Mukhang pagod din.

"Why?" tanong ko din habang tinitingnan yung dinaraanan namin. Ang traffic kahit malapit ng sumikat yung araw.

"Wag pabuntis," nagmamadaling sabi niya sabay patay ng tawag. Kita mo na, nanay na nanay talaga ang dating.

Well not planning to naman. Ayaw ko pang mag-alaga ng bata, ni hindi ko nga naisipan na maghugas ng pwet ng bata. Eww kadiri naman tong si Mia.

"You want to sleep?" tanong ni Chris ng makitang humihikab na ako. Tumango nalang ako. Kinuha niya naman yung neck pillow niya sa likuran.

Ang sweet kung ‘di lang ‘to bastos nagustohan ko na. Wow Zelle naghanap ka pa ng hindi bastos eh ikaw nga ‘yung bastos.

"Morning," sabi ng katabi kong lalaki. Kinapa ko muna siya bago ako bumangon.

Patay ako nito. Yeah Zelle ready mo na damit mo baka palayasin ka na. Kinuha ko naman yung kumot bago tinakpan mukha ko. Narinig ko namang bumangon siya kaya napatingin ako sa kanya.

"You sleep without clothes?" sigaw ko sa kanya. Lumingon naman siya sa ‘kin and his almighty glory standing proudly. Tumawa naman siya ng dali-dali kong tinakpan ng kamay ko mga mata ko.

"Pa-virgin," pang-aasar niya. Kinuha ko naman yung kamay kong nakatakip sa mukha ko.

"Want some morning s*x?" he asked.

Tinapon ko agad sa mukha niya ‘yung nasa tabi kong unan.

"Where's my bag?" tanong ko at tiningnan siya. ‘Di ko kasi makita dito. I don't know where did he put it. Tulog ako kagabi baka binuhat niya lang ako. Baka pinagnasahan niya pa ako kagabi bago natulog.

"Outside, I called your friend last night," sabi niya. Nanlaki naman mata ko sa sinabi niya.

"Who's friend?" I asked him because I had a bad feeling.

"The one named Esther," kalmadong sabi niya ikinalaki ng mata ko. Kung may ilalaki pa mata ko ayun na. Dali-dali akong bumangon and walked outside trying to reach for my phone. Pag-open ko dun. Nakita ko agad text ni Mama.

From: Friend Esther

Go straight home. To your father's office!

Fuck. Ano sinabi ng gonggong na ‘to? Tinawagan ko agad si Riche and thankfully na contact ko naman.

"Bruha your mother called last night ‘di ko na napansin kung sino kaya nung tinanong ka sinabi ko agad na I don't know basta kasama mo lalaki mo, Sorry," sincere niyang sabi. It's not their fault. It's my fault for not being able to get a grasp of what I am doing.

"It's okay, nakauwi ka na ba?" tanong ko sa kanya.

“Yes,” maikling sagot niya kaya napangiti nalang ako. At least okay na siya. Well good luck to me.

Pagkatapos niyang patayin yung tawag lumabas na agad ako sa bahay ni Chris at dali-daling naghanap ng taxi.

"Look who's here," sabi ng kapatid ko. Pabida talaga. How would she feel ‘pag sinapak ko mukha niya.

‘Di ko nalang siya pinansin and I headed straight ahead to my father's office. I heard her laughing. Laughing at her victory.

"Where's your boyfriend?" kalmadong tanong ni Dad ng makapasok ako sa office niya. ‘Di man lang ba muna siya magha-hi sa ‘kin?

"Don't know, Why? You know where he is?" tanong ko pabalik sa kanya.

Sino namang boyfriend tinutukoy nito? Dami kong ka-fling sino dun?

"I'm talking about the man you're with last night," he calmly said. Oh Chris? Kailan pa siya naging boyfriend ko?

"Dad he's just a friend of mine," sabi ko, trying to explain. Pwede namang friends with benefits. Tumango naman siya sa sinabi ko.

"You're grounded," kalmado pa ring sabi niya. Na-ikinagulat ko. What? Just like that? Kasi wala akong maipakitang boyfriend? Or what? Is he crazy? My God! Oldies problem.

"Okay" mahinang sabi ko. Hindi na ako nakipag-away pa madali naman akong kausap eh. Kasi diyan lang naman nila ako nakikita. Sa mga mali ko. How I wish I could be the perfect daughter he's been dreaming of.

I saw Bella smiling like an idiot at me ng makalabas ako sa office ni dad. Cherish your day dear.

My demon side's hiding kaya ‘pag ‘to lumabas e ‘di maganda. ‘Di na ako mukhang anghel.

Padabog kong sinarado yung pintuan ko. Life’s like this. When will be that time of mine na walang limitations and sayings. I'm tired.

Kinuha ko nalang yung lappy ko and start to write in my blog. Been doing since I've started being the ‘outcast' of the fam.

From: Riche Montreal

Buhay ka pa? @Arazelle

From: Mia Bronx

Buntis na ba?

From: Chaenrah Grant

Infairness pogi ng nabingwit niyo.

From: Mia Bronx

We have taste.

From: Arazelle Aranzano

Meaning baduy ka.

From: Chaenrah Grant

At least hindi grounded.

Aba’t ang dali talaga ng balita. Who told her kaya?

From: Chaenrah Grant

You should visit your sister's timeline.

Bwesit talaga ‘tong unanong ‘to. Bigla namang may nag-friend request sa ‘kin. Ninja ba tong Chris na to? I lied about my name naman. How come nalaman niya name ko.

Nakita ko namang nag-message request siya.

From: Chris Villario

Accept me.

Where? Sa buhay ko? O sa sss lang?

I replied to him immediately. When I said immediately I meant it. Joke lang

From: Arazelle Aranzano

Pangmatagalan o isang araw?

I don't even know why I don't have a boyfriend. I always have a fling but I didn't engage in serious type of relationship. Maybe I'm afraid of judgments? Or I'm afraid of commitment? I always asked them if they'll stay forever.

But yeah no one has the guts to answer that. They'll just leave without even saying anything. Is that even hard to answer? I can't even find myself happy when I'm with a man. Cause in my mind they'll leave me.

Lahat nalang ng nakikita kong relasyon ay nasisira. It's either the guy cheated or the girl fall out of love. Sometimes it's vice versa. So why fall in love if they'll just put it into waste.

But not all relationships are like that. That's why I'm trying to find it. That's what I've been searching. And I don't know when. But I know if it's God's will. Then it'll happen.

May kumatok naman sa pintuan ko. "Bukas yan," sigaw ko. Binuksan naman ng nasa labas yung pintuan.

"Ma'am kain na daw po," sabi ng kasambahay namin.

Tumango nalang ako kay Manang Luz. Sinarado ko muna lappy ko at iniwan sa kama.

I forgot to change my clothes kaya naligo muna ako at nagbihis. Bahala sila mag-antay dun.

Pagkababa ko naman narinig ko agad silang tumatawa.

Katakot magpakita. Cause I know once makita nila ako their happy faces will fade. I don't even know if I'm that disgusting. Whenever they'll see me. It's like their seeing a trash. I know I'm a trash and that's why I've been trying to vanished from their life. Slowly.