Marked

Gotta Be Wrong Sometimes

IT was almost one week after Marcus talked to me, but I still couldn’t erase everything I found out from him. Not only did I remember that over and over, but there was also this guilt building inside of me that made me want to actually hear him out for real. Besides, I used him for my gain. If I don’t keep my words, I’ll end up being the person he said I was—what everyone said I was.

“There’s no one to blame but you if you regret not doing anything about it now.”

I collapsed down the floor out of frustration. “I hate this,” I grunted, rolling closer to the wall, and I ended up staring at myself in the mirror. I looked sweaty and greasy from all the practice we did here in the studio. Suddenly, the melody of ‘Reflection’ played in my head.

When did I become a monster?

I slammed my palms over the mirror, frowning in dismay.

Coming to the dance studio always helped me feel less stressed, but it’s doing the complete opposite right now. Shaking my head, I stood back up, grabbing my bag, finally deciding to go look for that guy. “Jesus Christ.”

And because I didn’t want people to think that I was looking for that player, which I am, I had to go look for him by myself with my own efforts. After about an hour of helpless searching, I gave up and sat down on the bench by the school park.

“Forget it,” I mumbled, aggressively stepping on the poor-grass who had nothing to do with my anger issues. “Why would I lower my pride for that stupid player, anyway?” But I did something wrong. “I don’t even know if he’s telling me the truth! It could be lies to make me feel guilty and make me look bad.” Or he could tell the truth…

“You know I thought there was more to you than what people say about you, Nami, but you’re just like what everyone tells.”

I scowled. He sounded like he was telling the truth… I scratched my head in frustration. “Argh! This is making me nuts! Why does he have to make me feel this way?”

I shook my head, constantly cursing at myself for feeling this much guilt. Am I really that bad? Am I the bad one now? How did it even get to that point right now? “Damn it!” I kicked the bench’s leg, frustrated at myself.

“He’s in the stock building.”

My heart raced. I turned my head left to right to find who just spoke, but no one was around me. I was alone. “W-Who’s—”

“First room to the right of the second floor.”

What if ghosts were actually real, and this is the ghost of my future haunting me for betraying the player? I covered my ears involuntarily, squeezing my eyes shut in fear that a ghost might appear before my eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. I’m sorry!” I exclaimed nervously.

A leaf suddenly fell down to my face, making me look up, and there I saw Tyler, raising his hand in the air as a greeting as he sat on one branch of the tree.

“C-Captain!”

“Cheers,” He raised the can of cola he had on his other hand before taking a sip. He let out a sigh. “You were looking Mark, right?”

Mark… So his friends even call him Mark…

“I already told you where he is.”

“I…” I couldn’t even accept the fact that I was looking for him.

“If you end up strangling him to death, let’s pretend we don’t know each other.”

I looked down in shame. I forgot he was there when I told Marcus that. “I don’t really mean everything I say, you know.” I defended even though I knew he wouldn’t really believe me. “How did you even know I was looking for him?” I glanced back up, and he flashed a thin smile.

He moved his legs and let them hung midair. “What’s a player to you, Nami?”

“Marcus?”

He laughed. “There you go.”

I don’t know why I feel ashamed of that. Sometimes Tyler just says things that would make you question yourself and how your mind works. It’s crazy scary.

“Well, for one, he is a player,” I argued.

“Girls just misunderstand.”

I frowned at his remark. He was a friend of Marcus. It’s only natural for him to defend the player. “You can’t possibly blame the girls for the wrongs he did,” I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms at him.

His jaws tightened as he glared back at me. I guess he sensed I was trying not to get pissed off at what he just said. “You know a person is serious from looking at them in the eyes. I’m sure Marcus did enough for you to realize that he’s not just doing this for entertainment.”

“Am I supposed to—”

“Yes.” He didn’t even let me finish my sentence.

“—actually believe his lies? Well, no.” I continued my question despite cutting me off.

He mumbled something inaudible, but I didn’t bother asking anymore. I wasn’t interested—or maybe I was, a little, I think, but not really now that I think about it. “Go.”

Go?

“He leaves before five-thirty, and it’s already five twenty-one. The stock room’s still on the other side from here. If you walk, you can get there in fifteen minutes. Five minutes if you make a run for it.”

I didn’t know if I should even continue because of my encounter with one of his friends, but my feet took off and led me to the building Tyler was talking about. Maybe my body was desperate to get peace of mind, and I can only get that once I settle things with Marcus.

I ran for it.

Tyler’s five-minutes-if-you-make-a-run-for-it hypnotized me.

When I reached the stock room, I was panting hard. I didn’t even need to make this much effort to fix this issue with him, but I did. I went inside and it was a mess. It was a stock building for a reason. I went upstairs and saw the first door to the right that Tyler was talking about.

Why did I even trust Tyler that instant?

He could be lying about this too.

I’m already here, so there was no point complaining.

I hesitated, but my hands reached out for the knob, and slowly, it was moving on its own. I pushed the door and saw him sitting by the frame of the broken window.

He slowly turned his head and uttered my name. “Nami?”

I didn’t even realize that he already noticed me, so my whole body flinched as I averted my attention back to him. I was feeling too nervous about accepting my mistake. No, it’s not because of him. I didn’t want to carry this guilt with me until the day I die, so it’s best to just patch things up now.

“How did you—What are you doing here?”

“Tyler told me.” I crossed my arms, still acting cold because now that I saw his face, it only reminded me how much I hated guys like him. “I came to say sorry, and he said you’d be here and,”

“And?” He shifted his weight towards me.

I looked away, gulping. I still couldn’t bring myself to accept that I’m the one wrong between us. “And I came to keep my promise.”

He let out a chuckle. “I thought you weren’t the type to keep promises and that the joke’s on me?”

My eyes went droopy as my eyes found their way back to his. “It was haunting me for days, and I pitied you.”

“Which is which?”

“Pity.”

He bit his lips. “Come.” He gestured for me to walk closer to him, so I did.

The view was pleasant from here. It wasn’t as relaxing as the rooftop, but it was still a magnificent spot. This tree was in an aesthetic shape, and today’s blue clouds were going well with it. It was a very calming and lovely view. “Are we just gonna stay here and watch our time run out or what?”

“Are you really here to hear me out?”

I frowned, glancing back at him. “No, I’m not here to hear you out. I’m here to stare at that tree with you. That’s what.”

He turned to me.

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head furiously. “How can you ask the most obvious questions? You think I’d be wasting my time here to just stand next to you and look out the window? Of course, I’m here to get rid of the guilt I feel! Are you stupid?”

“As I was saying—”

“I really don’t get you.” I blurted out. “You tell me off about the worse possible qualities I potentially have, and you ask me the stupidest question after like, are you okay in the head?”

“Can’t you shut your mouth for ten minutes and hear me out like what you came here for? You really talk a lot, you know?” He said, making me speechless.

I hissed. “Red flag.”

“Red flag?”

That’s when I realized he didn’t understand what I meant, so I shook my head and looked further away saying, “Never mind.” It would be weird to talk about something like that with a guy like him.

“I usually come here alone. It’s a little new to see a face here with me.” He suddenly said. It’s not like I even needed to know that. “This is really refreshing,”

“I thought you’re going to talk to me about what you’re supposed to say to me!” Pissed, I exclaimed impatiently. “Why are you talking about how refreshing it is to have some company?”

His jaws dropped. “Well, you started talking about other stuff, and I had to get that out of my chest because I really enjoy some company here,” Sure. “Especially with you.”

“Just tell me already!” I yelled this time. “I set my pride aside for you to stop feeling guilty, but you’re just clearly wasting my time like I expected!” Maybe his flirting got the best of me, and I went full beast-mode. “Do you even have something to tell me for real, or you just absolutely love wasting other people’s time?”

“You really can’t shut your mouth, princess.” He wheezed.

I glared at him. “Are you going to stop calling me princess, or I’m leaving you here right now, and you can never tell me what you’ve meant to tell me? I’ll bury the guilt with me down the grave if I have to. That’s better than biting onto a player’s game.”

He laughed. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”

“What do you really want? Why do you approach me like we were friends when we never even spoke? What do you want from me? What are you trying to do?”