Chapter 1: The Last Bell
826 Words
There are exactly three hundred and sixty-five dents on my locker door.
Yes, I counted them.
No, I don't know why.
Maybe because counting tiny things is easier than admitting that today is the last day I'll ever walk these halls.
The final day of senior year.
Everyone else seems... happy.
People are laughing, hugging, signing yearbooks like they aren't about to cry in their bedrooms tonight. Someone is running through the hallway with a graduation cap already on their head, even though the ceremony doesn't start for another three hours.
Chaos.
I smile to myself.
Once you get to know me, I can be just as chaotic.
Unfortunately...
Almost nobody sticks around long enough to find out.
"Alicia!"
I don't even flinch.
Only one person says my name like she's announcing the arrival of royalty.
Maya appears beside me, somehow carrying two iced coffees, three notebooks, and enough excitement to power the entire school.
"You've been staring at that locker for five minutes."
"I was thinking."
"You were overthinking."
"...Same thing."
She snorts.
"You counted the dents again, didn't you?"
"...Maybe."
"Oh my gosh, you actually did."
"I got three hundred and sixty-five this time."
"You need professional help."
"I know."
We both laugh.
That's the thing about me.
People assume I'm quiet because I'm boring.
They're wrong.
I'm quiet because I'm shy.
Once I'm comfortable?
I say the dumbest things imaginable.
Maya says I'm like a golden retriever trapped inside the body of an anxious cat.
She's... not entirely wrong.
"So." She wiggles her eyebrows. "Today's the day."
I don't look at her.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"The boy."
"I still don't know."
"The one you've liked since forever."
"I wouldn't say forever."
"Tenth grade."
"...That's not forever."
"It's close enough."
I sigh dramatically.
"Can we not?"
"No."
She links her arm through mine as we walk toward our classroom.
"You know what your problem is?"
"I have several. You'll need to be more specific."
"You think confessing means you're asking him to date you."
"...Isn't that what people do?"
"No."
She stops walking and turns to face me.
"Alicia, sometimes people confess because they don't want to carry the feelings anymore."
That...
Actually makes sense.
"I'm not expecting anything," I admit quietly.
"I know."
"I don't think he likes me."
"I know."
"I don't even think we really know each other."
"I know."
"I just..." I shrug.
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what would've happened if I'd said something."
For a moment, Maya doesn't tease me.
She just smiles.
"Then tell him."
The rest of the day passes too quickly.
Teachers give emotional speeches.
Everyone signs everyone else's shirts.
Phones keep flashing for pictures I'll probably cringe at in five years.
I laugh.
I joke.
I even get into a fake argument with Maya over who cheated during our sophomore chemistry test.
(She definitely did.)
By the time graduation ends, the sun is beginning to sink, painting everything gold.
People are leaving.
Parents are calling.
Cars are pulling away.
If I don't do it now...
I'll never do it.
I spot him standing near the football field, talking to one of his friends.
He's taller than most people around him.
His graduation gown sways slightly in the breeze.
He laughs at something his friend says.
I don't know why...
But that laugh has always made me smile.
Maya notices where I'm looking.
"Go."
"I suddenly forgot how to walk."
"You've been doing it for eighteen years."
"I think I've retired."
She rolls her eyes and gives me a tiny shove.
My feet move before my brain can object.
One step.
Two.
Three.
Every step makes my heartbeat louder.
When I'm finally close enough, he turns around.
His eyes meet mine.
For a second, I forget every word I've ever learned.
"Hey," he says.
His voice is softer than I expected.
"Hey."
Brilliant, Alicia.
A whole vocabulary, and that's what you come up with.
He waits.
Patiently.
I take one deep breath.
"I just wanted to tell you something before we graduate."
He nods.
"I've liked you for a while."
The words come out surprisingly steady.
"I'm not saying this because I expect anything."
His expression changes just slightly, but I can't tell how.
"I just... didn't want to leave high school wondering what would've happened if I never told you."
A tiny smile finds its way onto my face.
"So that's all."
I let out a nervous laugh.
"I hope you have an amazing life."
Before he can answer—
I turn around and walk away.
Not because I'm embarrassed.
Not because I'm ashamed.
But because I said what I came to say.
For the first time in years...
My heart feels lighter.
I don't see the boy behind me smiling to himself.
I don't hear his friend call his name.
"...Elliott?"
And I definitely don't hear his quiet reply.
"I was too late."
- Writer
