Honey Dew

Three

I think I've seen this film before / And I didn't like the ending / I'm not your problem anymore / So who am I offending now? / You were my crown / Now I'm in exile seein' you out / I think I've seen this film before

Exile - Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver

    With Alpha Uroso and Luna Janice taken by the Council, Finn was left to conduct the meeting with the other packs on our ground. He had made a speech early this morning regarding the events that occurred yesterday and throughout my time here. I felt humiliated as the members looked upon me with pity. Several of them have come to apologize to me and offer services, especially the ranked members. I politely denied their offers, not wanting any more attention or pity than I’ve already received. I don’t like being in the spotlight.

   My room was cleared out and Finn insisted I stay in his room until I decide if I want to leave or not. He slept on the couch in order to not cross any boundaries I have. New clothes were purchased for me by Omegas, courtesy of Finn’s credit card. They measured every inch of my body before leaving. The small gasps I heard when they saw my back was disheartening but none of them said a word about it. When they returned, I was shocked to see the amount of things Finn had them buy for me. The entire left side of his walk-in closet was now consumed by my new clothing and shoes and four of his eight-drawer dresser consisted of more of my new clothes as well as brand new bras and panties that fit my body flawlessly. He even bought me a cellphone.

   I am now currently amongst the thousands of people flooding our territory, nervously sipping my drink in a corner. I feel rather uncomfortable in the fitted dark blue gown the Omegas insisted I wear. Although, it is beautiful. The straps hang loosely over my shoulders as the neckline plunged between my breasts. Finn is trying desperately to make his way towards me, but he’s stopped by multiple she-wolves who unfortunately were previously informed of his bachelor status. Many men have come to hit on me as well, but I politely turned them down. Finn on the other hand isn’t being so polite about it as I hear him shout that he has a mate.

   He finally made his way to me, panting goofily. “I’m already done with this,” he whines, “I can’t even breathe in here.” I nod in agreement, subconsciously staring at the muscles daring to rip through his blazer. I feel my body begging for his, Athena is going wild. The pull is nearly uncontrollable. Finn smirks as he tilts my chin up to meet his eyes. “Like what you see?” He asks, gesturing towards his body. My face heats up and I choke a little on my drink. “I-I’m so sorry!” I exclaim patting my chest. “It’s yours... if you want.” He says nervously while scratching the back of his head. I smile in response. I’m still not sure what I want.

   “Come on, follow me.” Finn takes my hand and leads me out of the crowd of desperate wolves. He pulls me to an area of the estate I’ve never been able to visit. It’s a garden, and a breathtaking one at that. Solar powered lights create a subtly lit pathway between the lively flowers, shrubs, and trees. Soft white bulbs are strung through the matured trees, creating a magical glow throughout the massive plot of land. I see a bench planted below an oak and a bird bath nestled a few feet away from it.

   “Wow,” I breathe, taking in the beauty of the land before me. “Yeah, wow.” He mocks and begins to guide me through it. A chilly wind blows, and Finn takes off his jacket to drape over my shoulders. I feel the desire to have him creep its way back in from the simple gesture. Shaking the impure thoughts, I thank him and continue our journey through the magical garden. I take a seat on another bench buried in the depths of the garden and inhale, appreciating the wonders of nature. Imagining life outside of the pack is becoming harder to do now that the past has been put to an end. Finn hasn’t tried to convince me to stay, he only offers to accept whatever decision I come to. I expected the pack members to accuse me of lying about the abuse from their Alpha and Luna but instead, they took my word without question. I strongly believe leaving will lead me to death as a rouge or a life of scavenging. Staying here will always hold horrible memories, but maybe the good ones in the future will outweigh those of the past. Finn and I have established the start of our bond and I’d genuinely like to see where that goes. Confident that I’ve reached my final verdict, I turn to Finn to tell him.

   His eyes are lost in the distance, he looks deep in thought. “Finn, I’d like to stay.” I abruptly say. He quickly smiles, taking my hands in his own. “I was hoping you’d say that. You are welcome to stay in my room or I can have your things moved to a guest room.” I nod, appreciating his understanding of my apprehensiveness towards our newly discovered relationship. I have insecurities and instead of being offended by it, he wholeheartedly respects it. Although, sleeping beside him sounds comforting tonight, given the past few stressful days, I simply am not ready for it. “I’ll consider your generous offer; thank you. But... I’d like to move to a guest room for the time being.” I shyly say, tucking my hair behind my ear. I hope I didn’t offend him. “Of course, little one. Anything to bring you comfort.” He sounds honest with his words as he kisses the back of my hand.

   We make our way back to the party after spending a decent amount of time getting to know one another. Finn excuses himself to mingle with an honored guest, an Alpha from a neighboring pack, and I awkwardly stand beside a gazebo. A man approaches me, his sandy blonde hair complimenting his vibrant blue eyes. He’s tall and athletic in stature and his face holds a dazzling smile as he nears. “Hi, my name is Gavin.” He introduces himself with a thrust of his hand. “Mila,” I shake it. “Are you enjoying the party?” Gavin asks, gesturing around us. I nod my head with a polite smile. “Are you here with anyone or did you meet your mate?” He suddenly asks, catching me off-guard. “Oh, not entirely. I have met my mate but he is very busy tending to this party.” I reply and point towards Finn. Gavin nods his head understandingly as he leans against the column beside me.

   “I’m surprised he left you alone here. Most of these men are pigs,” he chuckles and points at a brunette man across from us, “see that man over there?” I nod, sipping my drink. The man has two women hanging onto him. Both of his hands are exceptionally low on their backs. The women are clearly beautiful. One has long chocolate hair that touch her shoulders, the other is platinum blonde and her hair is nearly the same length as mine. I can’t see their faces but their skin-tight dresses that barely cover their butts say enough about their physical appeal. “I guarantee he thinks he’s going to take both of those girls home and end up slapped for thinking he’ll have a threesome with them.” Gavin shrugs, his hands lifting in the air. “No way!” I giggle, slapping his arm. “Does he do this often?” I question. Gavin nods while laughing, “I’m his Beta and yes, he does this very often.” I laugh again and shake my head in pity for the situation.

   My eyes travel the crowd and see Finn now standing beside another woman. He seems to be having the time of his life as they both are laughing, and his arm is around her shoulders. I can’t help but to feel a bit jealous even though I have no reason to. He may be my mate, but we haven’t defined anything romantic between us. Gavin notices my disappointment and forcefully guides me towards a small clearing beside the patio door. He pays the seat beside him, ushering for me to sit with him on the wicker bench.

   “So, tell me about yourself, Luna.” Gavin says as I take my seat. His interest surprises me. I still haven’t had time to explore my own likes and dislikes after being a slave for the past twelve years. I focus on the small details I was able to figure out over the years. Finn reminded me of those recently. “Well,” I swallow, “I do love to read.” I couldn’t come up with anything other than that of substance. “Do you? I have an extensive library back home. What genres are you interested in?” His eyes lit up at my confession. “Mainly adventure or romance, it helps me escape reality.” I was shocked at my involuntary openness with this man. It seems so easy to talk with him. I haven’t been able to chat much with other people over the years so conversation didn’t come very natural to me. “I’ll have some books sent to you when I return.” He flashes another dazzling smile at me. 

   I thank him wholeheartedly. Gavin’s kindness is making my transition to a new life easier. If most people are like this, maybe I won’t be socially awkward forever. He knew nothing of my past and I didn’t plan to tell him. Being viewed as a potentially normal person is comforting. No looks of pity, no awkward apologies for my past suffering. I suddenly feel Gavin placing his coat around me. I can’t help the flinch when he does. “Whoa, sorry! You were shivering. I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries.” He’s nervous now, I can sense it. “No, it’s okay. I was just spacing out.” I lied. I don’t want him to think anything out of the ordinary about me.

   After an hour of casually talking with Gavin, the party started to die down. He suggested our leave and we exchanged phone numbers, explaining that it’s getting late and the temperature is dropping. Many wolves found their mates and left to spend quality time with them. I haven’t seen Finn in quite some time, so I assumed he was caught up with the other Alphas that were present. I went to return his coat, but he stopped me. “Keep it.” He simply says with a smile. I thank him and make my way back towards the house to retire for the night. Climbing the stairs, I see Finn. And what I see isn’t what I wanted to.

   There is Finn, his back against the wall with the woman he was wrapped up with from earlier. Their lips are connected. My heart sinks. Athena is whimpering in betrayal. I feel rage and jealousy and sadness all simultaneously boiling within me. Without a second glance, I turn and quietly and blindly pad back down the stairs. How could he do this? He left me alone at this mate meeting, being my mate, to find another woman. He spent a good amount of time convincing me to be present just to make a fool of me... and himself. He even confessed his feelings for me, stating his pleasure in being my mate. 

   I feel my body collide with another. I recognize his face, but I can’t remember his name. “Luna, I’m so sorry,” he exclaims loudly. I hear a masculine gasp from the top of the stairs where I left the heartbreaking scene before. “Is the Alpha up there?” He asks. “Yes, but don’t interrupt. He’s lip-locked with another woman.” I blurt out. Was that even me who said something so bold? No, it was Athena. I can feel her presence consuming mine. A look of shock covers the man’s expressions as I push past him. I make my way back down to the second floor and slip into a random guest bedroom. One perk of being the house maid, I know which rooms are vacant. 

   I sit on the bed and silently cry with Athena for a moment. I desperately wish I had somewhere else to go. Somewhere else to run to. Somewhere other than this torturous place. I feel as if I’m being treated as a joke. Hours earlier, Finn was announcing our bond and me as his future Luna. He had his parents arrested for the way I was treated. All the time he spent convincing me to fully trust him was thrown away faster than it came. I can already hear many people searching for me through the house, but I have no desire to announce my presence. I want to be alone and I definitely do not want to hear Finn’s poor excuse as to why he was kissing another woman.

   With a heavy sigh, I slip off my constricting dress as well as Gavin’s coat and curl up under the fresh blanket; only wearing my bra and panties. I beg for sleep to consume me and my wish is granted.

   Late morning light filters through the curtains. I lay there, helplessly pondering the events of last night. The pain in my heart is still heavy with Finn’s betrayal. Athena is feeling it too. She hasn’t been very vocal after our pity party last night. Glancing at the clock, I notice it’s past ten and I should show myself because I’m positive they spent all night looking for me. I pull my dress back on and make up the bed, making a mental note to wash the linens later. I step into the bathroom, smoothing out my hair and wiping the mascara circles from under my eyes.

   Quietly exiting the room, I trail up the stairs to Finn’s room. Before I could even knock, Finn swings the door open and pulls me into a tight hug. “Please don’t touch me,” I push him back, “I do not wish to talk. I only want to collect my things.” I stand my ground with pride even though Athena is begging for his touch. “Whose coat is that?” A look of hurt fills his features and I sigh, pushing past him to grab my toiletries and a few sets of clothing. “It wasn’t what you–“

“Don’t.” I interrupt, not even turning around to face him. I’m nervous about my newfound attitude but for some reason, I can’t help it. “Please, Mila. Let me explain.” He pleads. I can feel his body standing behind me. I turn, meeting his eyes. “I said I don’t want to talk.” I repeat. Finn drops to his knees. I hide my shock towards the sight. “Please. I submit myself to you. I am begging you, my future Luna, to hear me out.” His hands are now holding mine tightly, his voice is trembling. Athena is growling in pleasure at the sight of our mate kneeling before us and openly submitting himself. I shake my head shamefully. “After everything I’ve been through, everything you’ve promised me... Finn, I’m sorry. I cannot bring myself to talk to you at this moment.” I say with strength. His hands drop from mine. “Very well.” He whispers.

   I finish collecting my belongings and place them in the guest room next to Finn’s. Even though I don’t want to talk to him, I also don’t want to torture him. My phone rings, Gavin’s contact displayed on the screen. I don’t want to talk to him either. I ignore the call and go into the bathroom to get cleaned up before breakfast.

   Everyone in the dining hall is staring at me. I hear whispers of a man I was with last night as well as the woman Finn was with. Gossip is flying through the large space, causing me to be frozen in my spot. Athena is becoming hostile, snarling at the accusations of our infidelity. I urge myself to move or at least stop looking back at them, but my body is working against me.

   “Stop!” I hear Finn roar beside me. All eyes drop immediately, and silence encases the room. “As Alpha and Luna, we are to associate with members of other packs. I expect these rumors and utter nonsense to no longer be spoken of from here on.” He demands. I don’t look at him as he guides me to the head table. We awkwardly sit side by side and Finn ushers the other ranked members to disperse from our table. We’re alone now. “Are you okay?” Finn asks with concern. I simply nod in response. I should talk to him about what happened rather than giving him the cold shoulder. “We can talk after breakfast.” I say. Finn flashes me a sad smile.

   After breakfast, we went back to his room. I sat on the couch, Finn respectfully across from me in the oversized leather chair. “I want to begin by apologizing for what you saw.” He starts. I nod. That’s all I can muster. “I also want to explain that she came on to me and I denied her. I know you saw her kissing me but not my refusal. You must be hurt.” I laughed a little, a tinge of anger rising in me. “I saw you all over the entire night her beforehand.” I explain. “She is the Alpha of the Goodwin Pack. We have been close for years now. I never once was under the impression that she had feelings towards me. When her mate passed away, she confided her feelings in me. But after last night’s daring actions, I’ve reduced our contact to only pack related business.” I can tell he’s telling the truth by the look in his eyes.

   I begin to think I’m overreacting. The mate bond between us is bringing out sides of me that I never thought existed—jealousy, passion, possessiveness. My pull towards him is strong as I stare at his lips, a heat filling my cheeks. Athena is purring, begging to take him right here on the couch. I shake my head and meet his eyes. “I accept your apology and explanation, Finn. May I explain the coat you noticed?” I ask. Finn nods in agreement. “When you left, I met a Beta named Gavin. He was very polite to me. We ended up talking for some time and I was cold, so he lent me his coat.” The explanation was simple but true. “That’s very kind of him.” Finn responds. I feel guilty about my earlier behavior after seeing how accepting Finn is of another man tending to me.

   After our awkward conversation of clearance, I went back to the room to relax. I wasn’t in the mood for socializing today and Finn was very understanding due to the gossip about us. He left to make a speech to the pack about the misunderstanding that’s circling, which I probably should’ve attended, but I chose to sit this one out. I can’t help but feel wildly overwhelmed over all the drama. I find myself desperately wishing I could turn to my mom for advice.

   Things between Finn and I still don’t seem right, as if there was something left unsaid. I didn’t receive the closure I expected to feel. In fact, I feel a strange sense of rejection. Pondering our bond, I wonder if Finn and I will ever actually work out. Even though we’re technically meant to be, I don’t think the draw I have towards him is very strong. I remember tales of the mate bond being undeniable and immediate love but I’m unsure if I share that with him. My life has been in shambles for a long time so I’m convinced I’ve blocked some of those immense emotions because of my insecurities and fear, but I can’t help but question it. I can greatly feel the lustful longing and even the comfort his touch brings to me... but where is the emotional side of it? 

   My thoughts caused me to be restless. I had planned on reading and taking a nap but instead I chose to explore the parts of the estate I haven’t seen before. My body aimlessly traveled the land as I discovered a library, gym, and even a medical ward. I never knew any of these existed here, but I wish I did while I was repetitively injured. I considered beginning training at the gym with the rest of the members as well. As I entered to watch, Finn jogged up to me. He is shirtless and only wearing shorts. Sweat is beading down his chest and as I stare, I feel that familiar pull again.

   “Hey, what are you doing here?” He smiles, breathlessly releasing the words. “Just exploring.” I say, still checking him out. He chuckles as he notices my stare. I break my eye contact with his bare chest and meet his eyes. “I think I’d like to start training.” I admit. That statement came out more as a question. “Really? Of course! We can start now if you want to get changed.” Finn agrees without hesitation causing my heart to feel a bit lighter. I nod and make my way back to the third floor to change into leggings and a tank top.

   Once I come back down, I see mostly everyone is in wolf form. I haven’t shifted since the first time on my sixteenth birthday and embarrassment instantly washes over me. My face feels hot as Finn’s wolf, Ferro, gestures me over. His wolf is ferocious looking, honing silver eyes and a thick black coat of luxurious fur. He stands much taller than the rest of the wolves here. The man beside him tells me to shift. I concentrate on Athena, allowing her to surface. She howls in excitement as she ravages my body. Bones snap and crack as I painfully and slowly transition. I see Ferro’s eyes widen, along with everyone else’s in the room. Insecurity and confusion grips me as they all bow down on their front legs, including Ferro. He rises, shifting back to his human form.

   “Mila, is there something you want to tell us?” He asks with caution heavy in his tone. I tilt my head in curiosity towards his question. Finn ushers me to follow him in front of a wall of mirrors. I look myself over, a massive white wolf bearing solid black irises and serrated teeth that are exceptionally longer than most. Athena is fit and muscular even without training or even having run free in the past two years. “Mila, you’re a Lycan.” Finn says with... enthusiasm? 

What the hell is a Lycan?

  Behind us, all the wolves are still bowed in submission. Finn tells them to rise and as they do, I notice their tails are tucked. Whatever I am, it seems to frighten everyone. Athena is humming with pride, shaking her snowy fur. She barks and all the other members retreat out of the room. Finn is still standing beside me, his eyes still scanning over me in admiration.

   I shift back... again, painfully. Finn hands me my clothes and turns his back to me as I try to catch my breath. I quickly pull them on, clearing my throat. “What is a Lycan?” I timidly ask him. “A Lycan is a wolf produced by two Alphas of pure blood. Little one, you and Athena are one of the strongest and rarest wolves in existence. That’s why we all bowed down to you without demand.” He explains, both of his hands are on my cheeks which are burning from embarrassment. My mind is racing, my heart pounding. Anxiety is consuming me as I hyperventilate. Too much is changing and way too fast. I feel my consciousness slipping and before the darkness comes, I feel the hardness of the cold floor beneath me.