Soul searching - Jasper Whitlock

Chapter 19

Bella…

When Alice said we needed to leave I couldn’t help but lash out. She was making me leave my nephew. What gives her the right to do that? We’re supposed to be best friends!

When we arrived in Doncaster my depression got worse. I wouldn’t talk to anyone except Jasper. I wouldn’t allow anyone near me except Jasper. I know I’ve been a b***h with everyone but they’ve been so good about it. They’ve stayed out of my way. Every time I look at Emmett I can tell he’s heartbroken seeing his ‘little sis’ as I am.

What kind of Auntie am I if I just up and leave my nephew without a fight? I know Jazz hates seeing me how I am. That’s why I want to do everything I can to get back to my normal self. My bubbly, fun self. I know it’s going to take time, but if vampires have anything it’s time.

When we pulled up to mine and Jazz’s new house in Vegas I fell in love. It was gorgeous. It was small but perfect for the both of us. It wasn’t big as what we usually live in when were with the Cullen’s. It was two stories high with a garage that goes under the ground. It had big bay windows. It was also surrounded by a forest. It was perfect for us.

Jazz carried me into our new home It was absolutely gorgeous inside. It had me and Jasper written all over it. After Jazz put me down so he could go get our things I had a walk around the house. It had pictures of me and Jasper everywhere, some of the whole family, some with us and Peter and Char. I walked in to our room and it had a big queen size bed. I walked in to the closet and Jasper already got me new clothes, shoes, coats and underwear. As I was walking out of the closet there he stood; my very own personal god. As I looked at him I couldn’t stop the lust that made its way in to my emotions. Jazz gave me that sexy smile he knows I love.

He was in front of me within seconds. “Your defiantly back to your normal self” He mumbled while nipping and sucking at my neck. “Well what do you expect when I have all this privacy and my very own Major” I whispered back. He growled against my neck, like he always does when I call him major.

“You’re a naughty girl darlin” He purred at me. “You love” I told him before crashing my lips against his. 5 hours later I was laid on a bunch of tangled sheets, laying my head on Jazz’s chest and drawing random things with my finger.

We didn’t say anything, I knew Jazz knew I wouldn’t be my total self for a while, but I’m getting there. Hopefully it won’t take long, but for now I’m going to enjoy my time with my Major.

“I love you” I told Jazz while looking into his eyes. “I love you too darlin” He mumbled while kissing my forehead. “You know I think this was a good idea” I told him, he smiled at me. “And whys that?” Jazz asked totally curious. “Well we have our own freedom, we can do what we want, and we can swear when we want, but most importantly we have our own privacy and I can spend time with you” He laughed. “I know darlin. I didn’t realise how much we both actually swore, until we moved in with the Cullen’s and hear Esme snap at us for ‘cussing’” I laughed at him. He smiled at me. “How are you feeling now babe?” I smiled at him. “Honestly?” I asked him he nodded at me.

“When we first left Forks it felt like a part of me was missing. I didn’t want to live anymore. I just wanted to smash s**t up, take my anger out on something. I knew the family wouldn’t be able to handle me in a mock fight with the amount of anger I was feeling and I didn’t want to fight you, because you was all I had left. That’s when I calmed down, when I looked in to your eyes. It reminded me I still had something to live for. I knew If I shut myself off you’d be in the state I was and I didn’t want that, so I did everything I could to give me the will to fight against the depression. I know I might have been a total b***h, and I’m sorry for that. I promise though I am going to do everything I can to get out of this state” I told him. “I hate to hear how you didn’t want to live anymore. I’m so sorry you had to go through this darlin. I hate it when you’re not happy. Sometimes I wanna rip Alice’s head off, for what she’s done to you, but then I think about Edward and how he’d feel if I Killed Alice. It’s exactly how I feel if I think about losing you.” Jazz told me while pulling me closer and nuzzling my neck.

“Don’t ever do anything like this again. Do you hear me Isabella?” This wasn’t Jazz anymore. No it was my f**k hot major. “Yes Major” I purred.

Jasper…

We’ve been in Vegas now for 2 years, Bella is finally back to her bubbly, fun self, and I couldn’t be happier. We decided to head back to Doncaster to the Cullen’s. They’ve been ringing us every day, to see how Bella’s doing and to see when we’re coming home. We’ve had such a good time in Vegas. Peter and Char even visited us for a couple of days to our shock.

Bella’s blocked Alice from seeing our decisions, so they won’t know were coming back. I know there still in Doncaster so I don’t need to ring them up to find out anything.

We pulled up in to the garage, when everyone was stood there waiting for us. Just as Bella got out the car Emmett came charging towards her I was in front of her in seconds. “What the f**k Jazz?” Emmett asked me. “I’d stay away if I was you Em for a bit. After been alone for 2 years he’s going to be protective” I heard Bella tell him. f**k I just wanted to pick Bella up and take her back to Vegas. “Come on Jazz let’s go upstairs and get unpacked” Bella told me while dragging me in to the house and up to our room. “I bet Em got the shock of his life” Bells laughed. I smiled at her. f**k I love my mate.

After getting our room sorted out again, we headed downstairs. “Wanna play Xbox Jazz?” Em asked me. I nodded and got up with Bella and sat down with her in my lap with a controller. A couple of hours later, Bella snuck out of my hold when I wasn’t paying attention. I dropped the controller and followed her. “BELLA!” I growled. “What?” She asked coming back down with a book from my library. “Get back here now” She rolled her eyes but did ask I told her.

Everyone came in to the living room with shock written all over their faces. So what if I’m a protective fucker. I know my mate loves it so f**k everyone else. “What the hell Jazz. Don’t talk to her like that!” Emmett hissed. “Em stay out of it please” Bella told him, but he didn’t listen he should of listened. “What gives you the right to demand s**t off of her” “EM!” Bella shouted. I was losing my cool quickly. No fucker demands me to do f**k all, and I will do as I wish with my f*****g mate!

“Emmett, maybe you should stop” Alice told him. “f**k that! He doesn’t talk to my little sis like that!” Everyone looked at me with wide eyes. Bella she kept on rubbing my arm up and down to calm me. “Come on baby. Calm down. I’m here” Bella kept whispering in my ear. “Em, I told you he’s protective since the last time you saw us, I’m not aloud out of his sight, or he freaks out” Bella told him. Finally the d**k nodded his head and started the game again. Bella took the remote out of my hands and played herself but stayed sat in my lap.

I know I might be a bit protective but these 2 years alone with Bella as made me love her even more, even though I dint think it was possible, and I’m not gonna let any fucker take that away from me!