Unexpectedly In Love

10 Unexpectedly In Love

I didn't realize I was falling in love with him.

There wasn't a specific moment.

No dramatic confession.

No fireworks.

No sudden realization while staring into his eyes.

It happened quietly.

Sa mga maliliit na bagay.

Sa mga bagay na hindi ko naman dapat pinapansin.

And maybe that's what made it scarier.

Because I didn't notice it happening until it was already too late.

⸻

It started with his messages.

Ethan: Good morning.

Two simple words.

But somehow, I had started looking forward to them.

Sometimes he'd send them at seven in the morning.

Sometimes at ten.

Sometimes with a picture of his coffee.

Sometimes with a stupid meme.

And sometimes...

Ethan: Wake up.

Me: I'm awake.

Ethan: Prove it.

Me: I hate you.

Ethan: Good morning to you too.

I'd roll my eyes at my phone.

Pero nakangiti ako.

Every single time.

⸻

Then there were the little things.

Like how he always walked on the side closest to the road.

I noticed it one day when we were walking together.

"Why do you always walk there?"

He looked confused.

"Where?"

"Beside the road."

He shrugged.

"I don't know."

"You've always done it."

"Maybe."

I stared at him.

"You do realize you're weird, right?"

He laughed.

"You're just noticing?"

"Matagal ko nang alam."

"Then why are you still here?"

I looked at him.

"Unfortunately, I don't know."

He smiled.

I tried not to smile back.

But I failed.

⸻

He remembered things I forgot I had told him.

My favorite snack.

The song I listened to when I was stressed.

The fact that I hated raisins.

The way I liked my coffee.

The places I wanted to visit.

The things that made me uncomfortable.

The things I was afraid of.

He remembered.

Not because I asked him to.

But because he listened.

And somewhere along the way, I started realizing how rare that was.

⸻

One Saturday, we went grocery shopping.

Not romantic.

Not exciting.

Just grocery shopping.

We were arguing over cereal.

"Chocolate."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you already have too much sugar."

"That's not your problem."

"It becomes my problem when you're hyper and annoying."

"I am always annoying."

"Exactly."

I grabbed the box.

He took it away.

"Ethan!"

"No."

"Give it back."

"No."

I reached for it.

He lifted it above my head.

"You're so immature."

"You started it."

"I hate you."

He smiled.

"You say that a lot."

"Because you deserve it."

He laughed.

I couldn't help smiling.

Then he finally handed the cereal back.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I looked at him.

"Wait."

"Hmm?"

"You just let me have it?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because I like seeing you happy."

I froze for half a second.

He walked ahead like he hadn't just said something that made my heart do something weird.

"Ang daya mo," I muttered.

He looked back.

"What?"

"Wala."

He smiled.

And suddenly, I realized something.

I liked this.

I liked ordinary days with him.

I liked doing nothing special.

I liked grocery shopping.

I liked arguing over cereal.

I liked stealing his fries.

I liked listening to him complain about traffic.

I liked being around him even when we weren't doing anything.

And that thought scared me.

Because when someone becomes part of your ordinary...

losing them becomes terrifying.

⸻

That evening, I was alone in my room.

I was scrolling through our messages when I stopped.

There were hundreds.

Some were important.

Most were completely stupid.

Pictures of food.

Memes.

Random thoughts.

Complaints.

Good mornings.

Good nights.

Small pieces of our lives.

I smiled.

Then I whispered,

"Oh no."

I sat up.

My heart started beating faster.

"No."

I shook my head.

"This can't be happening."

I knew what was happening.

I just didn't want to say it.

"Kailangan ba talaga?"

I covered my face with my hands.

"Seriously, Lyss?"

I put my phone down.

Then picked it up again.

I opened his conversation.

I stared at his name.

Ethan.

I smiled.

And that's when I finally admitted it.

I was falling in love with him.

⸻

The realization didn't feel exciting.

It felt terrifying.

Because love had never been a safe word for me.

Love used to mean trusting someone enough to hurt you.

Love used to mean waiting for apologies.

Love used to mean wondering if you were enough.

Love used to mean losing yourself.

But Ethan had slowly shown me something different.

Love could be patience.

Love could be communication.

Love could be respect.

Love could be someone remembering your coffee order.

Someone asking if you got home safely.

Someone giving you space when you needed it.

Someone staying without making you feel trapped.

And maybe...

love could be safe.

⸻

The next day, Ethan noticed something was different.

"You've been staring at me for five minutes."

I immediately looked away.

"I have not."

"You have."

"No."

"Yes."

"I was thinking."

"About?"

"Nothing."

He smiled.

"You're lying."

I rolled my eyes.

"Grabe ka. You really need to stop saying that."

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Looking away."

I looked at him.

He laughed.

I couldn't help smiling.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

I shook my head.

"You're just..."

I stopped.

"Just what?"

I smiled.

"Nothing."

He narrowed his eyes.

"You're suspicious."

"Why?"

"Because you're smiling."

"Am I not allowed to smile?"

"Not like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're hiding something."

I laughed.

"Maybe I am."

He leaned closer.

"Tell me."

I looked at him.

For a second, I wanted to.

I wanted to tell him everything.

I think I'm falling for you.

But I wasn't ready.

Not yet.

So instead, I said,

"I like being with you."

His expression softened.

"I like being with you too."

Simple.

Easy.

But my heart was anything but calm.

⸻

That night, I called my best friend.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I think..."

I hesitated.

"I think I like someone."

There was silence on the other end.

Then—

"FINALLY!"

I pulled the phone away from my ear.

"Why are you shouting?"

"Because I've been waiting for this!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Is it Ethan?"

I froze.

"How did you know?"

She laughed.

"Lyss, you talk about him all the time."

"I do not."

"You do."

"No."

"Yes."

I sighed.

"Okay. Maybe."

She became quiet.

"Are you happy?"

I thought about it.

Then smiled.

"Yeah."

"Are you scared?"

My smile faded slightly.

"Very."

"Then take it slow."

"I am."

"And don't forget yourself."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

I smiled.

"Promise."

"Good. Kasi baka ma-inlove ka tapos makalimutan mo na naman sarili mo."

I went quiet.

She was right.

That was one thing I couldn't afford to do again.

"I won't," I repeated.

"And Lyss?"

"Hmm?"

"If he's good to you, let yourself be happy."

I smiled.

"Okay."

Maybe that's what I needed to hear.

Not don't fall.

Not be careful.

Just...

Let yourself be happy.

⸻

The next afternoon, Ethan and I sat together at the café.

He was talking about something I barely heard.

I was watching him.

The way he smiled.

The way he moved his hands while talking.

The way he laughed at his own jokes.

The way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

"Are you listening?"

I blinked.

"Huh?"

He laughed.

"I knew it."

"Sorry."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Again with the nothing."

I smiled.

"Ang daldal mo kasi."

"I'm literally the one talking and you're the one not listening."

"Exactly."

He laughed.

I smiled.

And suddenly, I felt peaceful.

I wasn't thinking about Marco.

I wasn't thinking about the past.

I wasn't thinking about what could go wrong.

I was simply there.

With him.

And for once...

that was enough.

"Ethan."

"Hmm?"

"I think you're becoming my favorite person."

He smiled.

"Only becoming?"

I laughed.

"Don't ruin the moment."

"Sorry."

He grinned.

I looked down at my coffee.

My heart was beating faster.

But this time, I didn't tell it to stop.

I let myself feel it.

The warmth.

The excitement.

The fear.

All of it.

Maybe love wasn't supposed to make me fearless.

Maybe love was simply choosing someone while knowing you could still get hurt.

And somehow...

I was willing to take that chance.

I looked at Ethan again.

And this time, I didn't look away.

Because somewhere between the coffee, the stupid jokes, the random messages, the quiet walks, and all the moments in between...

I had fallen.

Unexpectedly.

Quietly.

Completely.

And the scariest part?

I didn't want to get back up.

Maybe, after everything that happened...

I was finally learning that falling in love didn't always mean falling apart.

Maybe this time...

I could fall without losing myself.