The man in black

Prologue

I look at myself straight on in the mirror and will some insane revelation to come from within. Can I see my purpose if I look hard enough? Nope. Nothing insane has revealed itself to me. I squint and push my brows down purposefully so they cover my eye lids. My long, blonde hair has got to go this summer. I take another look at myself and assess the appearance i see before me. Long legs feel lanky under my even longer torso and arms. I shrug at myself and blow an errant strand of hair from my face one more time. 

I know the uber is probably already here but I’m doing whatever I can to avoid it all. Do I really have to go? What was I thinking? I can’t move to the city by myself. I don’t even have a job. I give myself one more angry look in the mirror and stomp out of my bedroom. Well, ok – now it’s my dad’s new ‘train room’. 

I had this bright idea that I would finally fly the nest by up and leaving and flying all the way across the country to NYC. I know a girlfriend there that’s going to let me stay and honestly, there’s a whole bunch of nothing here for me – except for some fleeting good memories, mostly bad memories – and a whole lot of heartbreak. 

As I walk down the hallway to the kitchen, I can hear my mom whispering. “What’s wrong, what did I miss?” I look back and forth between my mom and dad. My mom has this look on her face that worries me, but she wipes it away within a millisecond. I try to ignore it. They both seem oddly quiet lately, and I’ve just chalked it up to you they are really tired of me being in their space constantly. Maybe I really am making the right decision here – it’s time to give them their life back. I’ve been moping too much. I can b sad in the city, alone. 

My mom, Jayne, has always been this bright, shiny light. The kind of light that I could never match. She has the longest blonde hair and the most kind eyes. I think if she asked me to stay I would, but I don’t know if the thought even crossed her mind. These past few months at home have felt a little more than uncomfortable. It’s like she wants me to get away from home for one specific reason but is keeping it a mystery from me. I catch myself staring at her face and quickly look away as she makes eye contact and offers a soft and knowing smile. There's one moment of concern there, but her warm smile is tacked on safely back in place. 

“Hunny, why don’t you go grab your bags. I’ll carry them out to the sidewalk.” My dad looks at me and offers a megawatt smile. He’s always been such a good dad. Sure, he has his anger issues sometimes – but honestly is there a dad that hasn’t? 

“Are you sure I can’t drive you to the airport? I think a suber is a little unnecessary, don’t you think?” 

I choke back a laugh. “Dad, its called Uber. I promise I’ll be fine. I am nearly 30 years old.” 

“Whoa, whoa whoa – don’t age me 5 years all at once!” My mom laughs as she runs towards me from across the room. She rolls me into one of her amazing hugs and I smell her hair. She always used this minty shampoo that brings back all the good memories from life. 

“I love you, mom.” I smile into her and she squeezes me as hard as she can. The Jayne special. She makes a weird noise that makes me forces a laugh out of me and finally breaks the awkward silence. I quickly wipe away a tear that escaped as I turn away from my parents. I mean, I haven’t left home like this ever before… I’m allowed to be emotional, right? 

I give one last kiss on my dad’s cheek and rush out the door. If I linger any longer in my childhood home, I’ll never leave. It's time to start over, my new life is waiting.