The Runaway Bride

Chapter 17

It was an awkward goodbye to say to Chris. I had wanted to say more to him.

I wanted to let him know that what he saw was... was... well, I didn't know what it was.

Maybe a mistake. But maybe not. I lusted after Reid at the moment. I didn't want to feel regret when I made the move on him.

I didn't know what I could have told Chris to convince him. What he had seen was nothing but my crazy frustration. But at least trying to say something will be better than not saying anything.

Reid had taken Eli to put him to bed when I stepped out of the apartment and stood in front of Chris's.

I knocked only once before he opened the door. He didn't look surprised to see me, almost like he expected me to come.

He invited me inside and I stepped in.

"Want something to drink?" He asked as I stood in his living room.

I shook my head. He shrugged his shoulder and went to pour himself a glass of rum I believed it was.

"Chris, what you saw between Reid and me was-"

"You know you don't have to explain yourself to me," he says before I could finish my sentence. "He was your husband and technically still is and he's living with you, so you have nothing to explain to me when I'm merely just your neighbour." He shrugs his shoulder.

There was a pang in my heart when he said that.

"Is that how you see me, too? Just as your neighbour," I asked.

He looked at me. His eyes scanned me. "I don't know what else to see you as if you don't feel the same way," he said.

I shifted closer to him. "If you see me as your neighbour fine. But I do not see you just like that," I say.

He turned fully to face me, placing his glass of drink down. "What do you see me as then?" He whispered. "Tell me."

"Your... your my friend."

I wanted to curse. Of all things I could have said, I said he was my friend. Why do I keep messing up with him?

He sighed and moved away from me.

I reached up and pulled the hem of his shirt. "Wait, that's not what I wanted to say,"

He didn't look at me, but he also didn't move away from me.

"I like you, Chris. I-i wants us to be more than friends," I stuttered but managed to say what I had wanted to say all these years.

He didn't wait any longer and pounced on me. Pulling me closer to him, crashed his lips onto mine.

I kissed him back right away and wanted to feel a sense of relief when I did.

Kkissing Chris was soft and slow. Almost like kissing the air.

It's not like Chris was a bad kisser, but It's not like kissing Reid. With Reid, it felt like I was burning in him. It was almost like it was a drug that I should stop before I get addicted, but keep finding myself going for more.

Even the way he was pressed against me in that kitchen felt more than this kiss with Chris.

And I hated it. I hated it so much that I wanted to scream.

I pulled away from Chris. Bitting him a quick goodnight wanting to be out of there as soon as I could before went further than I liked to.

I rushed into my apartment, closing the door behind me and stood there for a second thinking about what had just occurred.

"So I bet that kiss knocked you off your feet."

I jumped at his sudden voice, startled to see him standing there with his arms crossed and a smug smirk on his lips.

Was it obvious that he had kissed me?

"It did," I lied, knowing damn well if he knew the truth, he would torture me with it.

I hurried past him and went into Eli's rooms to see him fast asleep clutching to his dinosaur stuffed animal that Reid had recently got him. I kissed his forehead and made my way out.

"Did he sleep right away?" I asked Reid.

"Ya. I think he was super tired," he said.

I nod my head and make my way to my room with him behind me.

"Tell me was he better than me?"

I ignored his question and began getting ready for bed.

He stood in my way.

"Move. I need to change," I tell him.

"Answer me first. Was he better than me?" He questioned.

I sighed, glancing away from him. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth. There's no way I would tell him. I don't need to boost his ego even bigger than it already was.

"He was. A million percent better than you," I say with sarcasm. "Now will you please move?" I place a hand on my hip.

He didn't move right away. He stood there, studying me with his eyes. "What I said in the kitchen wasn't a lie. The way you pressed against me showed that you wanted it too. So whatever happened with him doesn't hide the fact that you want me," he smirks, looking me up and down.

"I don't." It sounded pathetic, but after what he had said, I couldn't think of anything to say. A good comeback didn't come to me either.

My breath hitched as he took a step closer.

"You do." He said it like it was a statement. I can't let him take control again, and I'm not going to.

I stood to his level. Finding the boost of confidence I needed. "I don't, and I probably never will. I already told you 2 weeks ago not to try anything with me," I spat.

He took a step back. I waited for him to say something and call all of this a bluff. But he didn't. He moved away from me.

I took this opportunity to move past him and into the bathroom to change and do my nightly routine before walking back into the room.

He was already in bed.

I quietly made my way to the bed, getting under the covers and turned off the lights.

A begged for sleep to come to me as soon as my head hit the pillows but none came.

I lied awake for what felt like hours. My eyes burning and a headache formed, but still, no sleep came to me.

My mind kept playing back the kiss with Chris. I wondered what this will mean for us.

I had wanted this to happen. But will I now be happy if it did?

Questions after questions ran through my brain.

And then there was Reid.

I wondered if it was wrong for me to even think about Chris while I shared a bed with this man?

The moment we had in the kitchen was, well, I still didn't know what exactly it was but I knew if I had met it go further I would have wanted him to keep his words and rip open my shirt and take me there and then.

He, of all people, made it hard for me to focus.

But I couldn't do that to myself. I didn't want to be with him and I believe I never will.

I've struggled my time with him before and having it be changed just because of one stupid moment will ruin everything.

I turned over to the other side, my back to him.

I heard his slow and steady breath as I pulled the blanket closer to me.

He draped his arms around me, pulling me into him so my back was pressed against his chest.

I thought about moving it. My arms itched towards it to move, but right in that second, sleep came to me and my arm felt weak to move falling on top of him.