The Runaway Bride

Chapter 19

Maybe I did imagine that.

But it didn't even seem to matter because I kissed Reid. I kissed him to the point that he was practically all over me, and I was all over him.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. Justifying all of this just seemed pathetic.

I couldn't just ignore it. Maybe it's not feelings but just physical.

It's not like I can deny the fact that Reid was attractive. Maybe more attractive than I liked to admit.

But he was not a good person. So he can't be committed even if he wants to be.

Reid was a good father to Elias, but he could never be a good husband to me. He never was.

In the years I was living with him, I know how he was. How he still is.

It's not fair for me to let that change anything.

I need to get my head clear.

The only man I needed in my life was my son. And at least that was something I knew for sure.

I finished up dinner and went to set the table. Reid walked in and helped me. But I barely could stand next to him.

I tried to pretend that I wasn't uncomfortable, but it was obvious that I was.

"Okay, seriously, what the f**k is your problem?" Reid stared at me, his arms crossed.

"What do you mean? Nothing is wrong except your whole existence, but either than that, all is good," I rambled.

He rolled his eyes. "Remember, if I didn't exist, Eli wouldn't be here," he said with a cocky smirk.

I shake my head. "Be lucky. That's the only good thing you have done since the day I met you,"

"I don't think it's me that was lucky it was you," he said.

"Whatever. I'm going to get Eli," I moved past him to the living room where Eli was watching TV.

I didn't know how to act as nothing had happened between us. But he seemed to be able to do it, so shouldn't I be?

We had dinner like we did most nights. I acted cool.

At least I did until we had to go to bed.

When we first started sharing the bed, it was the most dreadful thing I had to do. But I got used to it.

I think we both did. Even when we first lived together, we shared the bed in the beginning.

But after what had happened between us, I could barely stand in a room with him but sharing the bed is a whole another level.

Reid didn't seem to care about anything. However, it's as if he did all the time.

He had countless people he slept with. So it's not something that's new to him.

"So are you going to me attack with you kiss now, or do we wait till I'm in bed," he asked, standing opposite to me.

I didn't understand how he could make jokes like this while I turned to beat red.

"I- Um, we probably should talk about it,"

We absolutely don't have to! Why the freak did I say that?

"If you want, but I much rather you do it again," he winked, sitting on the bed with his back pressed to the headboard.

"Can you stop? I didn't m-mean to do that," I said.

"Oh really? Well, I'm not complaining. Although, by the looks of it, neither were you," he smirks.

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you have to be such a bastard?"

He shrugged his shoulder.

"Look, I didn't mean to kiss you. It just happened. I rather we don't mention it again," I told him and got in the bed and under the blanket.

It was better this way. I didn't need to complicate things with anyone.

He stared at me. "You know I can't do that,"

I sighed. "And why not? It was just a stupid kiss. It's not like you haven't done this with countless other women,"

"Your not just another woman," he said. "You're my wife,"

"will you stop calling me that?" I rolled my eyes.

"Look, like it or not, I am not just some man and your not some woman. You're also the mother of my kid. I want this to work."

He was serious about this. I see it in his eyes. But the only answer I could give to him was no. I didn't know what else to say to him.

"I can't. You know I can't," I mumble.

"I just don't understand. Why not?"

"Are you seriously asking me that? You know why not. I don't trust you," I looked away from him for a minute. "If you really wanted this to work, why didn't you come back when you found I was pregnant?" I asked.

His eyes fell—the look of guilt all over them.

"I apologized for that. And I hate myself for doing that to you and Eli, but as I told you a million times, I'm not leaving this time," he said. "Stop holding it against me,"

I scoffed. "I'm not holding it against you. I'm just telling you why you can't be trusted."

He sighed. "Then let's get a divorce," he announced.

I looked at him, surprised. I didn't think that he would suggest this.

He was against it from the beginning, and now he wants one.

"But if we get a divorce, I want my son to come live with me, and we're going to figure out a custody," he suggests.

"You know I can't stay without Eli,"

"Then let's be a family,"

"You're saying it like it's something so easy. I don't want to be your wife. I never have. But I'm letting you be Elias's dad. We are family. What more can you want?" I questioned.

"I want you," he whispered.

I looked at him. "Why now? I always was there," I asked him. “We could make it work three years ago,” I say.

“That was impossible when you barely even glanced at me unless you had to,” he said.

“Ya, I wasn’t the one staying out all night at some girls apartment,”

He looked me dead in the eye. “Tell me you had seen me with any other girl before since I married you?”

I was startled at the question. I never had to see him with a girl. I smelled the girl's perfume on him—the messy look in his gazes when he came home.

“I didn’t have to see them. I knew that’s what you were doing,” I told him.

“I have never even touched anyone else since I married you. I may be f****d up at times but never to cheat on you,”

He was lying. I knew he was.

“Stop lying. I smelled them on you,” I said.

“Oh really? When?” he asked.

“All the time,”

“Whats ever that was it was never some women. I knew I had a reputation for being a player. It's not like it was a secret. It was everywhere. But I wouldn't cheat you,” he said again.

I didn't know if I believed him.

“You came home late all the time. I barely ever saw you,” he told him.

“That's because I am drinking. Getting drunk every single night since the day you came home with me.”

My eyes went wide.

“That's the only reason I didn't come to look for you and Eli.”