In My Second Life, I Became Someone Worth Loving

Chapter 9 — A Heart Still Afraid

The afternoon sun rested gently over the gardens of the Richter estate.

A small table had been prepared beneath the shade of a flowering tree, its white cloth fluttering softly in the breeze. Three cups of tea sat upon the table, accompanied by a plate of delicate pastries and freshly cut fruit.

It was one of those quiet afternoons Josephine cherished.

No guests.

No formal conversations.

No watchful eyes from other noble families.

Just her mother, her sister, and the peaceful garden.

Josephine lifted her teacup and took a small sip. Estelle, however, had apparently decided that peace was overrated. "So."

Josephine glanced at her.

Estelle smiled.

"So?"

"You know what I'm going to ask."

"I don't."

"You do."

Josephine returned her attention to her tea.

Across from them, Eleanor watched the exchange with an amused expression.

Estelle leaned closer. "How does it feel knowing half the young ladies in the capital are probably jealous of you?"

Josephine nearly choked on her tea. "Estelle!"

Eleanor calmly reached for her own cup. "Do try not to make your sister spill her tea."

"I'm only asking."

"You're teasing."

"That too."

Josephine sighed. She had learned long ago that arguing with Estelle only encouraged her. "People are merely talking."

"About you and His Highness."

"We are childhood friends."

Estelle raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Josephine looked at her. "And nothing."

"Really?"

"Really."

Estelle stared at her for several seconds before sighing dramatically. "You are extraordinarily difficult to interrogate."

"Then perhaps stop interrogating me."

"I refuse."

Eleanor quietly laughed. The sound made both daughters turn toward her.

"What?" Estelle asked.

"Nothing." Eleanor placed her teacup down. "I simply find it amusing how easily the two of you return to childhood whenever you are together."

Josephine smiled faintly.

The warmth of the moment settled comfortably around her.

Then Eleanor's gaze moved toward her. "Josephine."

"Yes, Mother?"

"May I ask you something?"

Josephine nodded. "Of course."

Eleanor's expression became gentler. "How do you feel about Lucien?"

Josephine's fingers paused around her teacup.

Estelle immediately became quiet.

The question sounded simple. Yet somehow, it wasn't.

Josephine lowered her gaze. "I like his company."

Eleanor smiled. "I know."

"He has always been kind to me."

"I know that too."

Josephine hesitated. "He remembers things I tell him." A small smile touched her lips. "He even remembers which tea I prefer."

Estelle grinned. "Because he's been paying attention."

Josephine's cheeks warmed slightly. "Perhaps."

Eleanor watched her daughter carefully. "Do you look forward to his letters?"

Josephine didn't answer immediately. Then she nodded. "Yes."

"Do you look forward to seeing him?"

Another pause. "...Yes."

Estelle's smile softened.

Eleanor remained quiet for a moment. Then she asked, "Then what are you afraid of?"

Josephine's heart stopped. For a moment, she couldn't answer.

The garden suddenly seemed much quieter. A breeze moved through the flowers.

Josephine stared at the tea in front of her. "I don't know." It was not entirely a lie. She knew what she feared.

She simply didn't know how to explain it. Because the answer belonged to a life nobody else knew had existed.

A life before this one. A life she had buried beneath years of being Josephine Richter.

Yet sometimes, memories still returned. Voice. A conversation. A relationship she had once believed would last. And then the words that had stayed with her long after everything else had faded.

You're boring.

Josephine's fingers tightened around the teacup. She remembered the feeling more than the details.

The slow realization that the person she loved did not love the way she was. That her quietness was considered a flaw. That perhaps she should have been more interesting.

More outgoing.

More exciting.

More...

Someone else.

And after the relationship ended, she had accepted the conclusion far too easily. Maybe there really was something wrong with her. Maybe she was simply too difficult to love.

Josephine slowly released the cup. "Perhaps..." Her voice was quiet. "I'm afraid of becoming attached to someone."

Eleanor waited.

"Only to discover that I'm not enough for them."

Estelle's expression immediately lost its teasing edge.

Eleanor's eyes softened. "Has someone made you feel that way?"

Josephine's heart tightened. She looked away. "Perhaps." She couldn't say more. Not because she didn't trust them.

But because how could she explain something that belonged to a life none of them knew?

Eleanor did not press. Instead, she reached across the table and gently placed her hand over Josephine's. "My dear."

Josephine looked at her.

"Love should never require you to become someone you are not."

Josephine's eyes widened slightly.

Eleanor continued. "If someone makes you believe that your nature is a flaw simply because they do not appreciate it, then the flaw does not belong to you."

Josephine stared at her mother. The words struck deeper than she expected.

Eleanor smiled softly. "You are quiet. You enjoy books. "You prefer peaceful afternoons to crowded halls. You think before you speak. None of those things make you difficult to love."

Josephine's eyes began to sting. She quickly lowered her gaze. "I know." But perhaps she didn't.

Not completely.

Eleanor squeezed her hand. "And if you ever choose to love someone, choose the person who makes you feel safe being yourself."

Josephine swallowed. "I will."

Estelle suddenly spoke. "Also..."

Josephine looked at her.

Estelle rested her chin against her hand. "You're allowed to be scared."

Josephine blinked.

Estelle shrugged. "You can like someone and still be afraid." A small smile appeared on her face. "Those two things can exist at the same time."

Josephine stared at her sister. For some reason, that simple statement made her chest feel lighter. "You really think so?"

"Of course." Estelle picked up a pastry. "You don't have to decide everything right now." She took a bite. "And you definitely don't have to marry him tomorrow."

Josephine stared at her. "I wasn't thinking about marriage."

"I know."

"Then why mention it?"

"Because Mother was getting sentimental."

Eleanor laughed. "Estelle."

"What?"

Josephine couldn't help it. She laughed too. The heaviness in her chest slowly faded.

For the first time that afternoon, she felt as though she could breathe again.

Later that evening, Josephine returned to her room.

A familiar envelope waited on her desk. She immediately recognized the handwriting.

Lucien.

Josephine opened it carefully.

Dear Josie,

I hope your day was peaceful.

I heard the book exhibition in the central city will open next week.

If you are still interested, I would be happy to accompany you.

However, if you would rather stay home, I will understand.

I simply thought you might enjoy it.

Take your time deciding.

— Lucien

Josephine read the letter twice. Then she smiled.

He wasn't demanding anything. He wasn't assuming she would agree. He had simply given her a choice.

Something about that touched her deeply. She sat at her desk and picked up her pen.

For a moment, she stared at the blank paper. Then she began writing.

Dear Lucien,

I would like to go.

I think I would enjoy the exhibition.

And...

I would be happy if you accompanied me.

— Josie

Josephine paused. She looked at the final sentence.

Then, after a moment of hesitation, she added one more.

I look forward to seeing you again.

She put down her pen. Her heart beat a little faster. She folded the letter and sealed it.

Perhaps she was still afraid.

Perhaps some part of her still believed that love could disappear the moment she failed to be interesting enough.

But Lucien had never asked her to become someone else. He simply seemed happy whenever she was herself.

And perhaps...

That was what made him different.

Josephine walked toward the window.

The evening sky stretched peacefully over the estate.She rested her hand against the glass. "I'll try."

She didn't know whether she was speaking to Lucien, to herself, or to the woman she had once been.

But for the first time, she felt that trying again might not be such a frightening thing.

At the royal palace, Lucien received Josephine's reply the following morning. He read it. Then stopped.

Elias looked up from his papers. "What?"

Lucien slowly smiled. "She said yes."

Elias sighed. "I suppose I should congratulate you."

Lucien looked down at the letter again. His smile softened. "She said she looks forward to seeing me."

Elias stared at him. "You're going to frame that letter, aren't you?"

Lucien carefully folded it. "...Perhaps."

Elias covered his face. "Hopeless."

Lucien smiled.

"Very."