Tailor Made

Chapter Eight

“Hello all,” Reid said sweetly, “It’s so nice to meet you.” She stressed the word ‘meet’ as she looked around at them, and Aria’s club mates were silent in face of the quiet threat. “I’m looking forward to teaching my classes, but I’m most excited to work with all you; the ones who have made fashion and design a priority in your lives. It makes me so happy to meet students eager to be part of this world of creativity.” Reid spoke slowly and deliberately, and liberally applied honey to some of her words. Maybe she thought the emphasis would make her seem warmer, but Aria could only remember the cold way Reid spoke to her the previous night.

“Excellent,” Mr White said, unsmilingly, “If you’re set Ms Reid I will leave you in their capable hands. Good luck on the competition all of you.” With a nod, he exited the studio.

“Well,” Reid said, clapping her hands together, and never letting the smile drop from her face. “Why don’t I go about the room and you show me what kind of work you’ve done in the past so we know what you’re… capable of.”

Reid looked hard at Aria. “How about you, what can you do.” It wasn’t much of a question, Reid seemed more intent on silently scrutinising Aria than anything else.

Elise stepped forward. “Sorry Ms Reid, but Aria and Jarod are both new members this year and have no portfolio built up yet. I’d be more than happy to show you what the rest of us have done, as we’ve all been sewing for about three years-”

“The term started almost three weeks ago. Have you made nothing in that time?” Reid asked. “Maybe you joined the club for…” She glanced at Jarod, Chris, and Mat, “Other reasons?”

The belligerent side of Aria was rising. What was it to this woman why she joined? Besides, who’s to say those reasons hadn’t changed? Aria felt the heat rise to her face, but she reined her feelings in and silently brought out her completed projects. The stuffed dog, a cushion for her bed, a pincushion in the shape of an apple, and a small canvas bag.

“This is all you’ve done in a month?” Reid asked.

“I also made a skirt and top. But I was… wearing them last night,” Aria finished quietly.

“Don’t tell me. Black lace?” Reid said, “Sounds nice. Maybe a little simple though.”

Nora made a face and stepped in front of Aria. “Aria’s been working hard learning the techniques, but she’s also been working with us more experienced sewers to design outfits for the competition. Our group likes to sit together and work on design ideas, and Aria is always making suggestions while she works on her own things. She has not been slack.”

“You trust the opinion of someone who knows nothing of design?” Reid asked.

“No one has any experience until they seek it out,” Elise argued, coming to her defence. “Aria’s trying to learn, and that’s what’s important.”

“Quite,” Reid said. She turned from Aria and looked through Elise’s work.

‘What a bi-’ Nora mouthed, but Aria shook her head. She headed across the room away from Reid, and over to Chris who was busy getting his own projects out.

He smiled, unaware of the tension in the room. “How’s it going?” he asked.

“Not to look a gift horse in the mouth,” Aria hesitated, “but isn’t it sort of cheating to get an adult’s assistance in a competition specifically for students?”

Chris shook his head. “Not really, this competition may be for young people, but the entrants are often quite skilled. Many have been sewing since they were quite young, and have had teachers throughout their lives to prepare for being a designer once they’re of age. We’re just getting a teacher a bit closer to the deadline.”

“Oh, I guess I am kind of late to the party,” Aria said.

“Don’t worry yourself so much. It’s not like there’s a cut-off point to start learning all this,” Chris laughed, “A famous designer I like didn’t start designing clothes until she was forty. You’ve got plenty of time. And if you work hard this year, maybe you can enter in next year.”

Aria warmed at his suggestion, but said “Maybe, but it wouldn’t be as fun without you, Mat, and Elise. I don’t know about you, but I’ve just enjoyed trying to design things together.”

“Next year we’ll need a new president of the club. Maybe taking that role and guiding new students could fill in the gap we leave behind?” Chris said.

“Maybe,” Aria wondered.

Reid nodded over Mat’s work as Aria and Chris talked. “Well tailored. I like this one particularly,” she said, tapping on the picture of Chris in the black suit with gold embroidery. “But the rest seem rather plain, don’t they?”

“I prefer function and comfort over style,” Mat said flatly.

“Who’s to say you can’t have both?” Reid suggested.

“These do have style. They’re simple and classy without being flamboyant, and that’s the way I like it.”

“I think you should experiment with more shapes. And colours too; move beyond black and grey.”

Mat didn’t respond.

Reid put the book down and moved past him without another word. She sauntered up to Chris and Aria. Sliding deftly in between them so to subtly block Aria out, she asked to look at Chris’s work. He brought up his folder filled with pictures of Elise and other women who posed in classy yet ostentatious dresses. His work was beautiful, there was no denying that, but most of it was extremely fancy and impractical; more like art than clothing.

Aria may have been unsure about the clothing, but Reid didn’t try to contain her joy as she flipped through it. “This is wonderful!” she exclaimed. “The colours, the shapes, how they shift the look of the body… to think you have such a concept of design at your age, it’s a delight to see!”

Chris grinned and began to speak about how he developed the ideas. Aria decided to skirt out of the way rather than interrupt Chris during his moment to shine. She retreated to Nora who was staring at Reid with blatant dislike.

“I don’t like her,” Nora said quietly when Aria approached.

“I never would have guessed by the look on your face,” Aria murmured.

Nora glanced at Aria. “Sarcasm does not become you,” she chided. “I’m just… worried. She clearly knows it was us she saw last night. She could get us into a lot of trouble by telling someone that.”

Aria snorted. “This is the first time you’ve shown concern about being in trouble. Need I remind you how recently you got into an argument with a teacher for absolutely no reason?”

“Alright, fine. But there’s something… odd about Reid.”

Aria shrugged. “She’s made a few odd comments, but if she wanted to out us for the mistakes of last night, she would have done it while Mr White was still here.”

Nora shook her head. “You don’t have many people swear vengeance on you, do you?”

“Come on, she wasn’t serious. She was just angry,” Aria said. “I’ll be my normal lovely self, not spill more drinks on her, and she’ll grow to like me. It’s worked with the rest of you.”

“That was before we all polluted you with our evil ways. You have a bit of badassery to you now that puts an edge to your sweetness.”

“I never know if you’re complimenting or insulting me.”

“Why can’t I do both?”

Reid finished exclaiming over Chris’s work and made her way to Nora. Nora had that look in her eye as she stared up at Reid, but Aria silenced her with a warning glance, and sat down nearby to keep an eye on the two of them.

Reid sweet smile was back, but when she flipped through Nora’s book and held peered at a few garments Nora had left in the club house, Reid’s honey-sweet smile shrank as she looked genuinely impressed.

Nora was skilled with patterning and sewing, but she also had a fair hand at embroidery and beading. One of Aria’s favourites of her works was a halter top and skirt combination. The skirt was light-pink silk which draped beautifully and had been pleated into a narrow waistband. But the top was the crown jewel of the outfit, literally. It was sleeveless and high-necked, perfectly accentuating Nora’s slender frame, for she was her own model for the outfit. She had painstakingly couched gold thread all over the black top, and sewn a stunning array of beads onto it. In one photo Nora stood with her back to the camera looking over her shoulder to display the large tear-shaped hole in the back. Her short black hair was tucked behind one ear, and she grinned mischievously at whoever took the photo. Aria couldn’t tear her eyes from the photo of her friend, but Reid flipped the page, jolting her back to reality.

There were plenty of photos of people Aria didn’t know wearing Nora’s clothes, and she felt a pang of jealousy, but she couldn’t understand why. Undoubtedly Nora had friends before attending Smartwood. In fact, it would be quite sad if she didn’t. But she never spoke of them, and Aria realised there was a part of Nora she couldn’t reach. Nora’s personality was so unmistakeable, so it wasn’t hard for someone to feel like they knew her. But Nora never really spoke about herself, Aria realised. Except for the brief time she spoke about her mother.

There was a photo of Nora in a leather jacket, paired with a puffy meshed skirt of dusty pink, with thick black tights and similarly black boots. She looked younger in that photo; her hair was longer. Her face was angled to the ground, and because her hair was out from behind her ears it shielded much of her face. To anyone who didn’t know Nora, she would have looked simply calm and quiet. But Aria could see the sorrow in her features.

Aria looked up at Nora with a question in her eyes, but Nora was conveniently playing with a lock of her short hair and didn’t notice.

“You have real talent,” Reid said with the first simply honest look she’d had since arriving. “You’ve clearly got a good concept for how to use the bias to make your fabric contour to the body, and how to give the body a different shape without changing things too dramatically. It all looks like a natural addition to the body. I think you could do some wonderful things with your skills.”

Nora lowered an eyebrow suspiciously.

“This is the Couturier club,” Reid said, now addressing them all, “But have any of you heard of haute couture?”

“That’s just high fashion, isn’t it?” Elise asked.

Reid shook her head. “It’s more than fashion, it’s art. It’s the reason people have fashion shows. No one wants to show the clothing of ordinary people. Haute couture is the ultimate piece of expression for a designer. The whole point is that it’s clothing you wouldn’t wear normally. It’s about art, it’s about reaching your personal limits of a designer by flying past the limits of normal clothing. It’s a statement of your technical ability as an artist. But it’s also a battle ground where you face off against the world’s best in fashion design. In fact, the term ‘couture’ is rigorously policed; only ateliers in Paris who follow strict guidelines can use that name. To call your club the ‘Couturier Club’ is somewhat misleading.”

Aria was starting to feel inspired until that jab at their name. But Mat spoke up.

“We could have been the ‘Aspiring Couturier’s Club’, but it was already a bit of a mouthful,” he said. He was wearing that apathetic look Aria knew well by now, and she knew he wasn’t even slightly taken in by her speech.

Reid continued as if there was no interruption. “The world of couture is at its highest point of influence right now; with the rise in social media, more and more people are able to view this clothing which would initially only be seen by the elite. Now that it’s being more widely viewed it’s become even more exciting to be part of; it’s starting to influence fashion for normal people like you.”

Elise rolled her eyes.

“Look up fashion shows in France, you’ll see how small aspects are taken by clothing you can now buy in stores.”

“So we have them to thank for why clothing focuses on style rather than being comfortable. Or, say, having pockets,” Nora grinned wickedly.

Reid ignored the comments from them, and launched into a discussion about the origins of fashion design and its effect on modern clothing. Somehow she even procured a computer and projector for an impromptu presentation. It should have been fascinating, but Aria couldn’t stop noticing the way Reid’s upper lip curled when she spoke, as if she was trying to contain some heavily-seated disdain. She also had an uncanny knack for being insulting in such a way that Aria was never quite sure if she intended it to sound that way. Needless to say, Aria’s impression of Reid was not great. But Mr White was clear; Reid was giving her own time for this lesson, and that the club should uphold the school’s reputation by being polite. If they must.

Reid’s presentation lasted well over an hour and she only paused when the bell for pre-dinner study time rang out. She sighed and packed up her things, and headed for the door. “Remember these lessons well and they’ll take you far in design.”

Aria frowned and looked about at the others. Chris was smiling eagerly, “Wasn’t that fascinating?” he said to Mat as they headed back to Rhodes hall. Mat looked back to wave, and rolled his eyes in Chris’s direction.

Jarod looked a little defeated however. “Classes all day, then a lecture from that woman, then study time? I joined this club because I thought it would be easy.”

“It is easy,” Elise grinned in reply, “You rarely actually sew anything. I think Ms Reid gave you a good dose of reality.”

“I’m just glad she didn’t ask to see any of my projects. She gave an icy enough stare at your projects, Aria, and they’re amazing,” Jarod said.

Aria pursed her lips, “I don’t think that’s what the stare was about.”

“Eh?” Jarod asked.

“She clearly recognised me from the other night, and she was pissed,” Aria said, but she faltered at Elise and Jarod’s questioning stares. “You didn’t notice that?”

“That was her?” Elise wondered, “Oh, of course! The red. I don’t know, Aria, she seemed stern, but not angry.”

“Nora?” Aria asked, turning to Nora who had been quiet throughout the discussion.

“She was definitely colder to you, but all the while hiding behind that smile. Ugh, I hate it when adults do that, like we can’t tell,” Nora spat.

Elise and Jarod, who were less used to Nora’s ups and downs, looked over in surprise at her tone.

“I just don’t trust her is all,” Nora finished. After a pause she added, “And I’m shitted off I didn’t get to work on anything.”

Silence fell between the four of them, and they headed their separate ways for study.

After spending her Saturday at the stables to escape Nora’s stressing and instead take care of Jinx, Aria received a message from Mat to come by and continue their conquest of Triple M.

“Is this really what you do with you weekends?” Aria asked with amusement, noting the Mat-shaped ditch in the couch.

“I do many things with my weekend, but I felt like I deserved a break. Especially after a whole afternoon of Reid breathing down my neck.” Mat shuddered. “She’s such a broken record. ‘Make it fancier, use more than two colours!’” he mocked. “I know what I like, I don’t need her coming in and telling me what she thinks is best.”

“Have you decided on your design?” Aria asked.

“Please, I’m honestly a bit sick of talking about sewing. Can we talk about something else?” Mat had booted up the game and threw Aria a controller.

“You were the one who brought it up,” Aria frowned.

“So I’m not flawless, big shocker.”

“Are you alright? You seem pretty aggravated.”

Mat actually considered the question seriously for a moment. “Aside from lasting sourness from Reid, I’m actually pretty good. You came to visit me knowing Chris would be out, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Aria smacked her face to her hand. “You know I enjoy hanging out with you. And having my arse kicked in Triple M, apparently.”

“Yes, but it’s always nice to have it reaffirmed.”

Aria glanced at Mat. He was leaning forward on the couch and staring at the TV with incredible focus. That was something she admired about him; he had incredible capacity for focus, even on something silly like a game. He was certainly someone who gave his all.

Aria and Mat’s avatars teamed up with a tank to destroy an enemy vehicle that the so-called ‘monsters’ drove. She felt she was becoming decent at the game, so she paused it and spoke. “The first time we played together we made it more interesting with a wager. What do you say we do the same now?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“You don’t tell me much about yourself. So if I earn the most points in this mission I get to ask you a personal question about yourself. Full truth answers.”

Mat smirked. “You could just ask me like a normal person.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” Aria asked innocently.

“Hmm, fine. But only if the reverse holds true.”

“You’re on.”

Aria didn’t even know what she was going to ask. But there was something about harmless games like these that made her competitive, and seemed to do the same for Mat. Lady Luck was on her side and she won. Too easily. Maybe Mat was testing the waters of the wager and letting her win. It didn’t matter.

“Tell me about your family,” Aria requested when the mission ended and their stats were shown.

“First of all that’s not a question. And second… That’s seriously all you’re going to ask? I thought it would be something interesting by the way you talked this up!” Mat cried.

“Answer.”

He shrugged. “Two parents; the standard allocation. And an older sister who’s studying biochemistry in university. It’s pretty boring. Sorry Aria, but my backstory is not interesting at all. I think you wasted your question.”

“Not wasted, I had no idea you had a sister,” Aria said.

“Very exciting. Whatever, we’re going again. And this time I’m going to crush you.”

True to his word, Mat brought his A game. In fact, he earned so many points with his precision shooting that he was able to rub in his point superiority by assassinating Aria, despite them being on the same team. Killing a teammate incurred a point penalty, but even with that he was soaring ahead.

“Asshat,” Aria muttered.

“What was that?”

Aria drummed her fingers on the couch and stared at Mat’s suspicious face. She smiled quietly to herself; when they were alone together Mat was so expressive. Not just his words, but his face contorted into bold and often comical expressions that she never saw when they were in a group. “Ask your question,” she sighed.

Mat considered for a moment. “Ok, forgive me for prying. But since you’ve started in this school you’ve been saying things that have made me wonder… Why is the idea of being with Chris so important to you?”

“Ahh,” Aria considered. “He’s funny, passionate, he makes me feel like I’m important. My heart buzzes when I’m around him.”

“I think I phrased my question badly. I don’t care about the specifics of Chris, I’m more curious as to why you want to be romantically entwined with someone?”

“Have you spoken to many teenage girls? It’s kind of this big thing we do.”

Mat held up one hand. “I think you’re missing the point of my question. I want to know why you specifically want someone. Are you suggesting you only want to be with someone who cares about you because that’s what you’re ‘supposed to do’? I get that it’s the time in our life when we have ‘urges’,” he said with a roll of his eyes, “But that could happily just be a fling. No need for commitment and dating and all that stuff. I want to know if you know why you want these things.”

“Well I… I want to feel like someone knows me, and…” Aria replied, not sure how to answer his question.

“You don’t have to answer now. Actually, you don’t need to give me an answer ever,” Mat said. “You seem smart to me, the kind of person who could find interesting answers, if you were willing to question things like this. I don’t know, maybe it’s not your kind of thing.”

The door slammed open and Chris burst into the room in a manner strikingly similar to the first time Aria was there.

“What’s up, my lovelies?!” he cried.

Aria jumped off the couch in a hurry. She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or pleased by Chris’s arrival, but it gave her an out. “Actually I was just leaving. Sorry guys, Nora undoubtedly calls for me.” She headed for the door and eased past Chris.

Mat pointed at her from on the couch and mimed ‘call me’, “About the stuff and the things,” he added.

“Uh huh,” Aria agreed, “Weirdo.”

She exited into the hall, to which Mat called from behind her “You say that like it doesn’t describe all your friends!” She closed the door quickly.

Aria was barely two steps away when the door opened again. Chris emerged and jogged down to her. “You,” he emphasised, “have been neglecting me.”

“I saw you yesterday,” Aria said evasively, not liking where the conversation was going.

“That was club time. I’m talking about time when you grant me all your attention,” Chris said, his eyes burning with a playful intensity.

“Well then, I saw you a week ago,” Aria reminded him.

“Yes, and that was too long ago,” he replied.

“You’re pretty busy these days.”

“I’ll make time,” he insisted. “Aria, we have a lot of fun together. I’m never too busy for that.”

Monday horrified Aria and Mat, for Reid returned to their club sessions with gusto. While she stopped lecturing them, she hovered over their shoulders as they drew designs or prepared fabric. “Bigger!” she continually cried. “You’re not going to catch anyone’s attention with those meek designs! Don’t be tentative, throw your everything into it!”

A strange dynamic evolved around them. Reid was singing Nora and Chris’s praises, while all but ignoring Elise and Mat for their simpler and more functional designs. But it was Chris and Jarod who warmed quickly to her. Chris talked endlessly with her about her history in the fashion industry, but that seemed normal for him. But Jarod was unusual. If anything; he worked on projects even less than before, which was saying something. Instead he pampered Reid like a queen, bringing her drinks and snacks. The snacks she refused with a smile and a pat on his cheek. Aria wasn’t quite sure about the reasoning for his behaviour, especially after he showed displeasure for her taskmaster ways earlier in the week. She asked Nora, who muttered something about ‘an older woman.’

Nora’s feelings towards Reid seemed unchanged; Nora stared at her suspiciously even as Reid looked like she wanted to pull Nora into a hug. If Aria wasn’t so uncomfortable she would have laughed.

The club began to lose some of its charm. With Reid around so often, Aria’s productivity dropped. Aria began to feel as if she had to hide her projects as she worked on them, for fear of Reid peering over her shoulder and critically pointing out errors. It was hard to commiserate with the others however. As Elise had said, she was only stern with the others. So while half of them were not particularly fond of her, they found little to complain about. Reid was full of useful advice that would only come from being in the industry, and the others were learning plenty.

Reid wasn’t the only problem. Whenever Chris wasn’t talking about fashion and his plans for the R-fad, he was talking about Ruby. Apparently she was an angel in human form, based on what Chris had been saying. And whenever he wasn’t talking about her, it was because she was there. Mat’s eye rolls had made Aria laugh at first, but eventually Chris’s relentless happiness got to her. She knew she should just be happy that he was happy, but she couldn’t help it. Something about Ruby annoyed Aria so much. Aria swore Ruby only ever spoke about herself, but no one else seemed to mind. Instead they flocked to her whenever she was around, eager to listen to her stories. Only Nora remained by Aria’s side, saying “People flock to me, not the other way around.” Aria resisted comparing Nora’s ‘flock’ of one to Ruby’s ‘flock’ of everyone else.

After a week of being surrounded by the less-than-lovely women in Aria’s life, she left the club with Nora feeling particularly run down. Nora was in the middle of trying to lift Aria’s mood with a spirited rendition of one of their books for English in language she described as ‘hella gangster’, when a hand touched Aria’s shoulder.

In her fright, she drove her elbow into their stomach and wheeled about. Alton was doubled over and clutching his stomach. “Oh no! Are you alright?” she cried in panic.

Alton held a finger up as he breathed deeply. “Nope, that’s my fault,” he winced. “I should remember that by now.”

Aria tried to ignore Nora who was also doubled over, but from laughter instead. “Can I help you? Can I do anything?”

“I did actually come here with a question,” he laughed weakly, “But now I’m frightened of the consequences.”

“Hug-apology, maybe?” Aria asked. “And hug-hello, it’s been so long since I saw you.”

Alton embraced her, and glanced at Nora. “Evidentially you two are becoming fast friends, or I would have been seeing a lot more of her.”

“What can I say, I’m good at stealing people away. If you want, I could steal you too,” Nora smirked.

“And again I’m scared.” He released himself from the hug with Aria, and began to follow them home as he spoke. “Since you’ve abandoned me, I’ve found a way to rope you back in. Remember how I told you about the Theatre club? Well we’ve got an upcoming performance, and we believe with just a little fixing and altering of the costumes we have at the moment, we could save some funds for the sets. Would you discuss with your club about helping us out for a week?”

“I thought Chris said he was going with Ruby to the Theatre club to do that a week ago to do that?” Aria asked Nora.

Alton raised his eyebrow. “A guy said he was going to ‘go hang out at his girlfriend’s club’ and you believed him? Cute, I’m glad to see you haven’t changed much.”

Aria’s cheeks warmed. “You mean he wasn’t there?”

“He joined us once, and he and Ruby had a real ‘get a room vibe’.”

Nora laughed, “That’s how we met them. They got a room, just not a private one.”

“Moving on,” Aria cut in, “You want help from us? I’m sure all of us would be happy to join your club for a little bit.”

Nora frowned. “All of us? What about the R-fad? I know it sounds like there’s lot of time until the event, but we really need to buckle down. Seven weeks.”

“If we all help we’ll all be back to working on our projects much quicker, rather than leaving one person to deal with it for weeks,” Aria reasoned.

“Bluh,” Nora complained.

“Consider it repayment for the food I grabbed you when we first met,” Alton suggested. “But if you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll just assume the love has gone out of our relationship.”

“Ouch,” Nora said, “Aria, I’m so grateful you’re not like your brother. Such a manipulative guy. Fine! Let’s do this.”

“Excellent, that’s a huge relief.”

“So Alton, how have things been going since I last saw you? Last time you mentioned some guy thinking you’re rivals?” Aria asked.

Alton laughed. “Oh boy. Yeah, he still hates me. I think he is actually in love with me but can’t admit it to himself yet. To be fair, I think about ninety per cent of the club is in love with me. It’s hard for them; I’m attractive, smart, and engaging. That’s really all you need in a person to find them irresistible.”

“That’s not love, that’s just infatuation!” Aria argued.

“Oh yeah? And what about you, still got that pesky crush on Chris? He’s basically another me, but mildly less handsome. Actually, you should probably see someone about your brother-complex,” Alton grinned.

Aria groaned. “Must everyone give me their two cents about how my feelings are a bad idea?”

“We’re your on-campus parents,” Nora explained.

“How does everyone know about this anyway?”

“Because you’re basically a love-sick puppy. It’s sweet.”

They stopped in front of Shrew Hall and Aria hugged Alton once more. “We will catch up soon, I feel like I’ve been missing out on you because we have no classes in common. At least you’re getting that time alone like you wanted?”

Alton shrugged with a small smile. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss having you around. No one gives as good reactions to my shenanigans.”

Aria frowned faintly at his words.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“What? Oh, no. It’s fine,” she replied.

“And I completely believe you. But I have some work to do before dinner, so I’m going to head off. Remember, come down to my club tomorrow with your thread and… whatever it is you use.” And he wandered off into the night.

Nora looked at Aria curiously. “It’s not like you to lie. However it is hilarious to see how badly you do so. Remind me to never ask if you can keep a secret.”

Aria pulled a face at her, but despite continued prodding, she didn’t explain further. Aria couldn’t hide the uncomfortable look on her face throughout what remained of quiet study and dinner time. It wasn’t until they were back in their room and Nora finally had a chance to sit down and pick up her pencil to work on her design when Aria finally spoke up.

“I don’t just… uh never mind,” Aria said, blushed, then busied herself with her notes.

Nora sighed faintly and put down her pencil. “You don’t… what? You don’t love me anymore? It’s ok, I’ve been seeing others behind your back for months.”

Aria laughed in spite of herself, but hesitated a moment longer before trying again. “I don’t just follow people around do I?”

“I don’t follow.”

Aria ran her fingers through her hair and looked to the side as she replied. “I mean… It’s what Alton said. He misses me because he says I give the best reactions to his craziness.”

“Uh,” Nora replied intelligently. “There’s more to your relationship than that. Clearly. He was making a joke. Don’t worry so much.”

“No, I mean, that’s not what I’m worried about. I know he loves me, but it got me thinking. I’m surrounded by these powerful personalities; my brother, you, Chris, Elise, even Mat to an extent. You all have such a definitive sense of self. People may not adore you as much as you say, but there’s no chance of you being lost in a crowd. You’re so comfortable with who you are, and nothing compromises that,” Aria said in a rush.

“You’re sad because you have badass friends?”

Aria leant her head back. “I’m not explaining this well at all. I mean, I feel like I’m just the person who follows you guys around and just reacts to your quirks, but I have none of my own. I’m just quiet and unobtrusive. I don’t know, that doesn’t feel like enough.” She sank down in her chair, twiddling her fingers restlessly through her hair.

Nora looked at her for a moment before standing up and pulling Aria’s wheelie chair away from her desk. “First up, come with me. If we’re going to have a D&M we’re going to do it right.”

“D&M?”

“Deep and meaningful. Get up and get here.” Nora pulled her over to Aria’s bed and sat her down on it and all but swaddled her in blankets. Aria looked a bit like a sad puppy while she was wrapped up. Nora curled up on the bed with her. “This isn’t a new worry is it?”

“No… but it’s silly, we don’t need to talk about it.”

“Hardly!” Nora replied. “A worry is just a few steps from an anxiety if it’s left to fester in your mind. Best tell me now or I’ll be picking up the pieces of you in a few weeks’ time. And I don’t care if stuff you say is stupid; you’re cute enough to get away with it.”

Aria twiddled her fingers around and around as if the words themselves were tumbling about in her mind as she tried to explain what was going on. “I’ve noticed myself change depending on who I’m with. With you I’m inspired to be more impulsive. With Mat I tend to be quick witted, and maybe more sarcastic. With Elise, erm, I feel like a kid looking up at her mum, strangely enough. I don’t feel like a particularly consistent person. If you three got together and discussed me you might have conflicting stories. Isn’t that strange?”

Nora shrugged. “I think that’s just being a teen. Many of us are like this. It’s all social expectation of different people. But it’s more than that, you’ve unconsciously noticed what people respond more to, it’s why you feel like a different person. As far as I’m aware that’s pretty normal. I mean, you should see me with my mum.”

Aria frowned and shook her head. “Maybe, but I want to be someone who’s more comfortable with themselves so I don’t feel like I need to censor myself with different people. I want people to see me and know my main traits that are consistent.”

“You’re just saying this because you can’t see yourself from the outside. Everyone who knows you knows that you’re a ball of positive energy. Seriously, I’m not sure if you’re actually a teen, you have no anger in you. It’s pretty weird. But cool,” Nora added hastily. “I wish I could be like that. I’m all hot and cold, no in between. You’re also driven by your sense of justice. Maybe that’s a lame way to describe it, but you make us feel like we should be better people simply through your example. Don’t underestimate that.”

Aria was silent. A familiar feeling of sadness was aching within her heart and head. Her mind begin to flood with thoughts, worries, and an emotion somewhere between anger and sadness. It was as if these worries broke the dam containing her thoughts, and they had to spill out now or she would swept up and drowned by them. “It’s just… All this stuff with the club is so intense. I joined the club because there were some fun-looking people and I wanted friends. But it sounds like all of you, except Jarod, joined the club because you needed to. Sewing and fashion design is really important to you. I don’t have that. I don’t have anything like that. There’s nothing that drives me to distraction like this does for you. And I’m envious for that. In the last year or so I’ve changed a lot, but that was all shedding old aspects of myself that I didn’t like. I worked out who I didn’t want to be, but I’m not really sure who I do want to be.” Aria finished speaking and slowly pitched herself forward until her head rested on Nora’s shoulder. It was good to be close to her, and feel her warmth.

“Sounds like you need Ikigai,” Nora exclaimed.

“…What?”

“You might know it better as raison d'être. ‘Your reason to be’. Funny how English doesn’t have a word for it. Do you think that means it’s not as important to us?” Nora wondered.

“You think I need more meaning in my life?” Aria asked sceptically.

“Sure. There have been plenty of studies showing that people with a sense of purpose gain physical, mental, and emotional benefits from it. Hell, people generally live slightly longer too. People lacking that often have issues with depression and whatnot,” Nora explained.

“Researched this topic much?”

Nora shrugged with a grin, “It’s amazing what kind of videos you can find on the internet these days. And I don’t care if you think this sounds stupid. I know you’ve worried about your lack of reason for being before. Remember when we discussed my mother and her issues? You can’t just keep pushing this out of your mind, that’s clearly not working.”

“But it’s so much effort!” Aria pouted.

“It’s just something to stuff into the back of your mind. Just think about it from time to time, it’s not something you can work out in a few days anyway. In fact it could take years.”

“Wow, way to bum me out.”

“And yet you’re smiling more than when we first started here. My work is done.” Nora nuzzled Aria’s hair to make her laugh, then jumped out of bed and returned to her desk.

When they all gathered the next afternoon in the studio, Aria explained how they had been approached by the theatre club. Chris was plenty eager of course, and the others shrugged their agreement, keen to be away from the stress of the competition prep for a short time. Chris, Jarod and Nora packed up a few small sewing supplies and headed to the theatre club to chat with them, and the others stayed behind to gather a few sewing machines and an iron.

“An iron?” Aria asked.

“They’re an essential part of sewing,” Elise explained. “I’m sure I’ve explained this a few times, but without using an iron, the seams of your garment can end up quite puffy and ridiculous. They make everything neat.”

At Aria’s rounded eyes, Mat said “You forgot that when you made that dress, didn’t you?”

“I wondered why your garments always looked so much nicer!” Aria exclaimed.

“Mmm,” Elise muttered.

“Something wrong?” Mat asked as Elise packed their accoutrements particularly roughly.

“Oh, I just think I misplaced a bracelet from my grandmother. I haven’t been able to find it these last few days. Mum’s going to be pissed when she finds out. And she’s not the only one, I really liked it,” Elise frowned.

“I remember that one. I liked your grandmother, she was astonishingly sassy,” Mat replied. “I hope it turns up soon.”

They were making so much noise that they didn’t realise when Reid appeared behind them. “What are you three doing?” she asked in her sickly sweet voice. “And where are the others? They’re a bit late aren’t they?”

Elise jumped. “Oh! Ms Reid. Sorry, we would have explained if you were here from the beginning, but the theatre club asked us to assist on fixing their costumes, and we thought a small break would do us some good. You know, step away from the problem and come back with fresh ideas.”

Aria noticed the faint crease that appeared on Reid’s brow. “Oh, you’re going to leave the studio in the middle of club time? Is this something I should be informing the school about?”

“We’re allowed to, ma’am, so long as we’re going to join another club,” Elise explained with a look of confusion at Reid’s tone shift. “Smartwood encourages us working with different groups to prepare us for our future.”

“Maybe I should tell them about a different time you left without permission then?” Reid said, her eyes narrowing dangerously. “Maybe I should suggest to the school that you may not be mature enough to enter the competition if you’re flouting the rules like that. Maybe all your work until this point has been for nothing. What a pity.”