Fragile

Her Smile, His Sadness.

Sunday, 10:00 a.m. A Park Without A Name

The image that painted itself before Jack Ernest's eyes was something that rather offended him. There he was, inside a park that was quite far from his apartment, sitting on a wooden bench, observing couples, young and old alike, walking alongside each other hand in hand. A smile formed on his face as he saw different types of romance unfold around him, but it immediately faded as he remembered what he had done yesterday.

Meanwhile, here I am, escaping the guilt of yesterday, as I watch the present before me...

These were his thoughts as he continued searching for people in the park, on the bench where he sat on. The idea of meeting new people, of making new friends was something he was very open with, since he needed more people to talk to. The first few weeks of his last year in senior high school was spent talking to his notebook, or ever so rarely, the only classmate who bothered to talk to him, Alexander Frye. And so, he continued searching, and searching, and searching...

What am I searching for, exactly?

Deep inside his heart, Jack knew exactly what he was looking for. He was not looking for a what, but a who. He felt the urge to walk away to a place where it was desolate and empty, where he can wallow in guilt and sorrow. He walked until he reached the gates leading out of the park, so that he will not be reminded of his loneliness. As his feet continued to move along the muddy path outside the park, his loneliness was eventually replaced with hunger.

It was around ten o'clock in the morning, and yet, he hungered. This was because he had not eaten breakfast, as the disgust of yesterday continued to cling to him, as if it was a chewing gum that he was not able to swallow, even if it had already lost its flavor a long time ago. His plan was to go back to his apartment and cook something, but alas, fate, or whatever Jack wanted to call it, had other plans in mind for him.

Why is it that we want to run away when we find the things that we have longed to see the most, when we finally find them?

Standing directly in front of Jack was-

The object of his love, but at the same time, his lust...

The one who filled his heart, but at the same time, the one who made it empty...

The one who-

"Oh, hello there. You seem to be familiar. Were you the one who forgot his umbrella, some few days ago? Forgive me, but I can't seem to remember your name, but I do believe I teach in your class. What exactly are you doing here right outside the park at this time? Have you been dating with a special someone, perhaps, and slacking off on your studies? Oh, gosh. Pardon me, I just speak on impulse, all the time, and I think-..."

Miss Kate Summers. The words she was speaking drowned in the ocean of Jack's confusion, for he did not know which question to answer. It was his first time knowing that his History teacher was this talkative. He simply stared at her, completely dumbfounded that she was actually in front of him. That she was there. Not even there, but here. The soft voice of Miss Summers snapped Jack back to the present.

"Uh...look, I am terribly sorry about that last question, but I would really appreciate it if you would say something back, you know..." Jack saw that Miss Summers looked genuinely guilty-worried, even-about what she suddenly blurted out, and that was more than enough to push him to talk to her.

"Good morning, Miss. No, no, it's fine I get that a lot when people I know would see me here in this park, so it's really fine. And no, I, uhh.... don't have a someone in here; I just usually go here to relax and mess around, I guess", Jack replied to his teacher. It was hard for him to do the simple task of having a decent, normal conversation; he was flustered and he was hoping she would not notice.

After a few moments, Jack asked Miss Summers a question that instantly became part of his textbook of regrets. It was a question, a common one, but one he did not believe he had the guts to ask.

"What about you, Miss? Are you seeing someone in this park? I'm sure it's the first time I saw you here..."

The eyes of Miss Kate Summers, which were usually bright and happy, widened for an extremely short moment, as if Jack said something in a rude manner. This, however, was left unnoticed by Jack, as he continued to gaze at his teacher. Or so he wished, for he was looking for any signs that she actually did have someone to meet in the park.

Miss Summers smiled, but it was not the warm smile that Jack knew. It was a smile that contained a story, a story that Jack was desperate to know. However, she avoided the question with her reply.

"I don't believe I got your name yet. May I ask what it is?"

Jack smiled too, but it was a pained and bitter smile. "Jack. Jack Ernest, though you don't really need to kn-"

Though you don't really need to know anymore, because you'll be saying someone else's name, once you go inside the park...

Jack was fortunate that he was able to stop himself for saying that. However, certainty turned into doubt as Miss Summers went near him, as if to say something.

"If you are fine with it, maybe we can talk in this same spot."

Jack placed both of his hands in his pockets. He remained quiet for a while, even as his teacher waited for his response. Then, he turned to wards Miss Summers.

"Yes, if...you're fine with...telling me stuff..."

For some reason, Miss Summers looked relieved. Jack did not know the reason why, but being able to see her smile brightly again made him really happy.

Jack and Miss Summers simply stared at each other for a long while. Then, they bid each other farewell, with not so much as a simple "Goodbye."

All Jack remembered of his conversation with Miss Summers was the sadness within her smile.