Arranged Imperfectly

Chapter 5-The Talk

Mrs Muskan.

I wanted to flee this room to a quieter location; sometimes when we are surrounded by people, we feel lonely and as if something is missing within us.

You just do not wake up and turn into a butterfly.

Everyone has their own struggles; no one is perfect.

"Please have this at least," I whispered, keeping the other dish next to him. He finally looked at me, but I stared down.

"I do not feel like eating," he said, and my mood changed; I had made so many preparations, waited for him, and prepared dinner, which I had rarely done for anyone before.

I swallowed, feeling a lump in my throat, and wanted to just smash everything, but I forced myself to calm down. I did not want us to get into an argument. He was being extremely stubborn at the moment.

His icy voice shivered me and made me numb. I had no idea how to start a polite conversation with him; I rarely had trouble conversing with people of the opposite gender, but it seemed like no matter what I tried, I failed. Maybe he hated me for other reasons, but I also knew that I had deeply hurt him and his family.

***

An alarm snapped me from my dream and I rubbed my eyes while searching for an alarm to snooze but then I remembered I had kept an alarm to wake up for tahajud I glanced towards the side next to me and it was empty.

"Where is Imad?"I asked my self and stretched my arms I sat my eyes landed on a figure who was busy that he hadn't even noticed me staring at him. He looked so calm and relaxed while praying there was total silence.

We keep alarm and snooze because we feel like oh no! we will wake up for fajr or for work so there's still some more time, but we should make it a point and start praying tahajud how lucky we are to pray in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep?

I rushed silently towards bathroom did ablution and stood behind him he must have noticed my presence but I was glad he didn't comment anything about it in fact when he stood up to pray I followed him, once done we made dua, my heartfelt at ease and relaxed, I felt like I was praying after so many months and that too with my life partner a smile formed on my face.

I turned to face the figure as he stood up, and he responded with a feeling I could actually understand. We had so much to talk about, but we were remaining silent.

"I believed you were late for prayer?" When he asked in that deep, seductive voice, I was secretly ecstatic that he had struck up a conversation. I wanted to run to my mother-in-law and tell her how happy I was, but I restrained myself from taking any unnecessary risks.

He continued to stare at me when I said, guiltily and in a low voice, "I used to pray, but not on time. Since a few days, I have started praying namaz and tahajud."

Nothing changes between us as a result of this, but if you would like, we can pray together.

No matter how hard he tried to ignore or avoid me, he undoubtedly had a soft spot for me, did not you think? "He told me in a very polite manner.

The first step was successful.

"Thank you."I thanked him with a smile, and instead of smiling back, he folded the prayer mat and opened his laptop. Who studies or works at 4:30 a.m.?

"Just sleep, and I will wake you up for fajr," he said, words I never expected to hear from him.

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," I said, chuckling, but he shook his head and stared at his phone; it was nearly 5 a.m.

"I am sorry for all the harsh words I said to you," I apologized again.

"Just forget about it, it is fine, I am really mad at you, everything happened so unexpectedly, marriage, the paparazzi, but I am struggling and hoping we will work out," he said, and I nodded.

He said, "I just could not control my anger when I found out you were the one who was taken advantage of while you went against your father, against me. But then I realized you were not at fault; it was just the situation, and you got your punishments even though no one deserved that treatment."

I paid close attention as he started speaking in a dejected manner once more, and I hoped he would not take offense at me.

He said calmly, "Mom and dad listened to your dad and they urged me to help you to find out about you and if it had been anyone else I would have assisted same way, for now you have to stay indoors, some people are after you, you and your father have some enemies around."

He finished with a lost expression, "I will support you, you are my wife, my commitment and my dignity just do not break rules, or mistreat any of my parents, do not disclose out family matters to anyone," and I at last felt at peace because he had spoken to me so much in such a short amount of time, which I knew he did not do very often.

"I just need you, do not worry," I said in a very low voice.

"Baby steps are making a difference," I said to myself.

***

Fajr Adhan was heard, and we paid close attention. After washing our hands and putting on our prayer mats, he led the prayer from the front while I prayed from the back.

His voice was full of curiosity as he said, "I wanted to ask you a question since long."I wondered what question he wanted to ask, but I remained silent.

"What is the reason behind your use of sleeping pills?" he asked, causing my hands to shake and my eyes to widen in confusion. How did he find out about them when no one else did?No, he can not find out, but how long can I keep my secret?

**

You meet people for reasons and everything happens for a reason.