Escaping Reality

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ｔ ｈ ｒ ｅ ｅ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

~•Eliana's Point of View•~

Sometimes I wonder if there are some memories the mind doesn't want to deal with and that if it really wants to, it can block out the images, shut down, and numb the pain connected to what we saw what we didn't want to see. If we allow it to the numbness can drown out everything, even the spark of light inside us. And eventually, the person we once were is nothing but a vanishing memory. I didn't always use to be this way. I used to have hope. I used to believe in things. But here I am, the shell of a girl I once was. Empty.

The sounds of laughter pull me away from my thoughts. I'm sitting on a bench, looking out at the park when two girls standing not far away catch my attention. One glances my way before saying something to her friend and walk away, still laughing. I don't care to hear what caused them to laugh but I have a pretty good idea of what it was.

Wind breezes by causing a loose strand of hair to fall out of my bun. Gently brushing it back, I return to my sketch pad. Mindlessly moving the charcoal pencil across the page.

"Hey Ellie, sorry I'm late." Katie sits down next to me.

"No, it's fine. I know that you and your new boy toy love to spend time together." She shrugs sheepishly.

"His name is Dylan and I actually enjoy his company." She raises her chin, indignantly.

"I know you do, just like every other guy before him." I smirk which earns me a light shove on my shoulder.

"Anyways," she emphasizes. "He is throwing a party tonight, something to do with the football season kickoff and whatnot. We need to hurry and eat then go home to get ready. It starts at 9." I nod my head in response.

There's not much to say other than the fact that my life is a constant cycle, repeating days over and over again. If I get any sleep, it's not much. I spend some time at the library and then I go whenever there's a party. I need my next fix because of the way I feel right now, I want it to vanish.

Sighing, I close my sketched and gather all my supplies up. I'm not really hungry but it'll pacify Kate for now. Out of all my friends, or if that's what you wanna call them, she's the one who's always there to clean up my mess and likewise.

I met Katie over 2 years ago. A year after everything changed. For the most part, the night is a haze, of blurred faces and too much alcohol. I stumbled outside when I heard sobbing. She was sitting on the curb, crying into her hands. I ended up crashing to the ground beside her not so gracefully, curious. Her words were indecipherable through her tears and my alcohol-induced haze. Nothing much to our introduction, but she's been the only thing stable in my life.

No words are spoken between us on the walk back to our house. The surroundings around me, from the run-down buildings, vibrant green grass, and the smell of spring give me a sense of serenity. The outdoors are the only thing that I haven't stopped loving. My dad used to take me on hikes with him, showing me everything there was to look at. I miss those days.

One quick lunch later, I'm getting ready for the night. Wearing nothing but a form-fitting, navy blue, strapless top that helps push out my cleavage and a white miniskirt. Adding some curls to my hair and applying makeup, then I'm finished. Everyone has their own opinions about me, I might as well live up to my reputation in this piece of s**t town.

"Kate, let's go. You're the one who wanted to go, making me tag along."

"I'm finished, damn." She approaches me in heels that make her twice her height.

"You sure you can walk in those?"

"Like you have room to talk." She gestures to my own heels.

"Let's just go." I huff, linking arms with her.

Locking up behind us, on unsteady feet, we make our way down the stairs. A guy is just walking out of his apartment when we make it down, a faint tug of recognition enters my mind. Probably just another guy I've hooked up with.

"Whoooa, ladies. Lookin' mighty fine tonight." His voice drawls in a fake accent.

"f**k off buddy."

"Ellie! It's fine, just Andy." Kate smacks my arm in reprimand.

"Hey there Katie, I'm guessing from the slutty attire, you're also heading to the party." At his choice of words, I shoot him a glare. Even though I know it's true, it doesn't make it hurt any less.

"Ignore my friend over here, we need a ride since me and Ellie both plan to get wasted." She bats her eyelashes at him. I roll my eyes.

"Oh, I can give you a ride, alright." The innuendo is too hard to miss.

"Shut the f**k up and answer the question." I snap.

"Ooh, feisty. I like that too." Seconds away from punching him, Kate places a hand on my arm.

"Andy, I suggest you decide before she decks you in the face."

"You're no fun El. Yeah, I can give you two a ride but I have to pick up my friend." Kate flashes a big smile and drags me behind her.

Kate calling shotgun, I'm forced to ride in the back of his pickup truck. It's silent for most of the ride, which I enjoy, with a few flirtatious jokes. The hormones are raging. As we turn around a corner, I notice all the nice houses. Perfect lawns, a tennis court, huge houses. Great, a stuck up rich kid.

Andy pulls up to this long driveway and I can't help but admire the beautiful home. Or to be more accurate, it's practically a mansion. Not too long ago, I used to have this life. Just like everything in my life, this was taken from me. The sound of honking pulls me out of my thoughts and a couple of seconds later, someone is walking out the door. The night makes it difficult to make out who it is. And as soon as the door is pulled open, I regret even getting in this car.

"Oh hell no," I say loud enough to catch the guy's attention. Surprise flickers in his eyes before a huge smile spreads across his face.

"Uh, okayyy. Evan, this is Katie and Eliana but from her reaction, you've already met. They needed a ride."

"Wait, this is the jackass you were telling me about Ellie?" She turns around to look at me. I bury my face in my hands.

"You've got to be kidding me," I mumble under my breath.

"' Fraid not. Now, if you don't mind, could you move over some?" Obvious amusement present in Evan's eyes and voice. I glare at him and grudgingly scoot over.

"Well, this is going to be an interesting night." Andy comments.

"So Ellie-"

"Don't talk to me. And don't call me Ellie." I interrrupt, not even bothering to look at him.

"Who pissed in your cheerios? I'm just trying to be nice here."

"Don't. I don't like you, nor do I want to socialize with you. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to enjoy this ride as much as I can without you talking." I finally turn around to face him and just like the first time I saw him, my heart skips a beat.

Unwillingly, my eyes take in every inch of him. Damn him, why does he have to be so hot but an arrogant ass? Pulling my eyes away from his body, I notice that his eyes are zoned in on my body. Fucker doesn't even try to hide the fact that he is blatantly staring at my breasts.

"And focus on something other than my tits." Andy snickers and Kate hold back her own laughter. When Evan's eyes finally meet mine, there's a fire in them that ignites something deep within me. Quickly I turn back around, not liking the way he was looking at me or my reaction to him.

The party is in full swing when we pull up 20 minutes later. I don't even wait for the car to completely stop and just hurry to open the door. I need out of that car and away from Evan. Grabbing Kate on my way to the house, I hear her protest and stumble before she gains enough balance to walk behind me. The familiar loud bass of music pumping through the speakers gives welcome to me, along with a cloud of smoke. Needing a drink and quick, I maneuver through the people.

"Ellie, slow the hell down," Kate whines as I reach for the cup that's been set on the bar. I don't even care what's in it. From the bitter taste it leaves behind, I'm guessing vodka.

"C'mon, let's get wasted and dance. Just like we said." I shove a drink at her.

"Seriously, what's got you so worked up? Is it Evan?" Ignoring her question, I down the drink myself.

"You gonna dance with me or not?" I look at her expectantly. After a couple of seconds, she shrugs and grabs a drink. Grinning, I take another and walk out to the "dance floor" with Kate trailing behind me.

It's easy to slip right back into everything. The drinking, the parties, the dancing. I always forget the shame and regret I feel right after nights like these. My body starts to move and sway, following the beat of the music. Dark room, flashing lights, loud music all blur together the more I drink. At some point, Kate yells something at me but I just grin a nod my head.

The song Closer by Nine Inch Nails starts to play when I feel someone slide up behind me. From the way the body is pressed up against behind me, I know it's not Kate and I am way beyond the point of caring if I ever did. Slowly raising my arms above my head, his hands slowly go down my sides and brings my backside closer to his. If I had any doubts that this wasn't a guy, they're definitely gone now.

Somehow I end up moving away from the dance floor. Giggling like a drunken i***t, I don't notice the tight grip this guy has on my wrist. Managing to make it into a room, the door slams behind me and an unrelenting mouth is against mine.

"Mm, I sure missed you this morning." His voice slurs in my ear. Something in my intoxicated mind registers that I know that voice from somewhere.

My feet leave the ground and a rush of air flies past me as he throws me on the bed. I can't even get a word out before his tongue is shoved in my mouth again. My arms move at a sluggish pace, trying to push at his shoulders.

"Oh, c'mon now Eliana. Not how you wanna treat someone that you stole half their stash from."

"C-Cole?" My lips form the words but come out drawn out and confused. He just smiles, almost menacingly. As he comes in again, I turn my head away and continue to push against him.

"Fine. I can be that way too." His weight lifts off me and I try to get up but it's almost useless with my vision swimming.

Roughly I'm shoved back down, causing nausea. Using this as his opportunity, he yanks off his shirt. Forcing his knees between my legs, he puts all his weight on me and captures my mouth once more. Unable to stop him, he hikes up my skirt and my shirt ends up somewhere on the floor.

"You know you want it. You wanted it last night and you owe me." He growls harshly in my ear.

After that, I barely register the sloppy kisses he places on my neck or his hands on my thighs and moving upward. Just when I think Cole is going to have his way with me, the door to the room is burst open and all the weight is lifted from me.

"Get the f**k off of her!" Someone shouts but it all sounds distant and fuzzy to me. I can only focus on the swirling in my stomach.

What sounds likes something hitting the floor, everything finally gets quite. A figure stands in my line of sight. I can only make out certain features but from what I can tell, it's a male. His mouth is moving but I can't make out any words. The person disappears for a couple of seconds before reappearing. He reaches towards me, still talking. He helps me sit up and everything spins. Looking down, I notice I am still not wearing a shirt.

"Eliana, here. You can use my shirt to cover yourself up with. I can't seem to find yours. Come on, let's get you home." His voice finally makes it's way passed the fuzz clouding my brain.

"Evan?" Everything is in slow motion. I see in his hand a shirt but when I try to grab it, it's like my arms weigh ten pounds. Seeing me struggle, he helps put it over my head.

"Can you walk?" When I fail to respond, his arms are under my legs and he is scooping me up. The motion almost causing the food I ate to come up.

I don't remember much after that but as soon as the cold air hits my face, I'm shoving away and heaving in the grass. Hands gently brush back my hair and a voice soothing me until I am sure I'm not going to throw up anymore. From what I can recall, Evan helps me into a car and we leave. And everything after that is all black.