His Moon, My Alpha

Spilling It

CC and I each set our bags down and get in line to grab our lunch. As we do, I unfold the paper that Gabriel left in my hand. It’s a sketch, much like my own. He’s drawn me. He has drawn me sitting, focusing intently on the desk in front of me. I’ve got a pencil in my hand, the annoying loose bit of hair is hanging in my face, and I am biting my lower lip. It’s an incredible drawing.

I can tell that it’s a usual hobby of his from the skill displayed despite clearly only taking a few minutes on the sketch. CC glances over my shoulder as we move forward in line.

“Oh wow! That’s amazing. Who drew it?” She asks.

“Um, Gabe did. He slipped it to me before he left.”

“Oh I knew it!”

“Knew what? That he drew this?”

“No.. I knew he was in love with you!”

“What?! No. That’s crazy. We literally just met this morning. There’s no way that he’s in love with me!” I shriek at her. She giggles and gently pushes me forward. The line has moved again and we can finally grab our trays.

“Come on,” she says, “I need some food before we continue.”

“Ugh, fine” I reply as my stomach rumbles. I usually eat constantly throughout the day and I’m just now realizing that all I’ve had to eat today was an apple and a granola bar this morning. I start piling food on my tray: pasta (I think it’s chicken Alfredo, but with school lunches you can never be sure), salad, roll, banana, and a chocolate cookie.

Most of the girls here eat like rabbits. Nibbling at raw vegetables and fruit and never eating a full meal. I’ve never been like that. My parents say it’s in my genes. They say I look, and eat, just like my birth mother. We both have thin waists, wide hips, and lean legs.

I pay for my meal and head to our table with CC on my heel. I settle into the seat with CC sitting across from me. She takes a bite of her pizza and grabs the drawing from where I placed it on the table.

“Oh, look! He’s left a note here in the corner.”

“Yeah?” I ask. “What’s it say?”

She slides the paper back across the table. There in the bottom right corner is a set of numbers. Gabriel’s phone number!

“He said he wants me to text him after school so we can start our game.”

CC gives me a puzzled look and says, “what game?”

In between bites, I explain that Gabriel is my lab partner and the TA for my Spanish class and we thought we should get to know each other. She hounds me for details as to how that ended up with him holding my hand, giving me drawings, and already having a pet name for me.

I tell her all about my side of things. The crazy attraction I’m feeling for him. The way he smells amazing. The game we’re supposed to play. The way I drew him in class without even knowing. I even tell her about the weird dream. She’s my best friend and we usually tell each other everything. I do decide to leave out that part about hallucinating weird sounds and even seeing a giant wolf. Maybe I’ll tell her eventually, but I’m just not ready to admit that stuff out loud yet.

When she is satisfied that I’ve told her everything, she begins to fill me in on her summer. She had an amazing time in Austin: she learned so much about producing, made some great connections, and made a new friend. She insisted I was not, and will never be replaced. She just has an “over there best friend” and a “here at home best friend.”

The warning bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. We’ve already tossed our trays and CC tells me she’s thinking about moving to Austin after graduation.

“Wow, Austin! Like, you’re going to be leaving Cloudcroft, and moving to Austin!”

She tries to blunt her smile, but her excitement shines through as she replies, “well.. I mean, nothing is certain yet. I just.. I felt right while I was there. I felt like, it’s where I’m supposed to be. Ya know?”

“Actually, no. I definitely don’t know where I’m supposed to be yet, but I am SO happy for you. I know ‘it’s not set,’ but chica, if it feels right then you should do it!”

“You really think so?”

“Yes! I mean, I’m going to miss you like crazy of course. But, I’m also so happy for you! From what you’ve told me, you already have a good support system there. And I’m sure we’ll always stay in touch.”

“Aw, well now it sounds like you’re saying good bye already..”

We’re a few steps away from the library at this point, and I abruptly stop and pull her into a hug.

“I’m definitely not saying good bye!” I release her and continue. “I have to give you the typical teen experience that is senior year!”

CC laughs and says, “okay, yeah. You’re right. We have this whole year, and we’re totally going to make the most of it!”

“You’re damn right we are! Now get to class or we’re going to be late.”

“Oh shoot! Okay, well, I’ll see you in the gym for weightlifting.”

“Later,” I call after her as she runs off to her next class. I make my way into the library, and put my things down at the desk. Just as I’m getting settled, the final bell rings and our librarian, Ms. Grissom comes over pushing a cart of books.

She sees me and immediately smiles. “Julia, great! So glad to have you back this semester. I’ve already got a lot of work for you to help with.”

Ms. Grissom is the one person who can get away with calling me Julia. Over the past three years we’ve gotten to know each other very well. See, I spend any and all free time that I find during school in this library. And Ms. Grissom has been the only librarian here for twenty-five years. So naturally, with me being here so much and her being in desperate need of help, I became her unofficial assistant. Then last year, CC suggested I earn school credit for everything I do around the library, and I told her that would be cool but I didn’t know how to make it happen. About a week later there’s a school council meeting and then bam. A Librarian Assistant class became available for upperclassmen to take. Because again, once CC sets her mind to something, she’s going to make it happen.

“I’m glad to be back Ms. Grissom! But how do you already have so much shelving that needs to be done? It’s the first day back,” I say teasing her. She knows I don’t mind the busy work.

“Well it’s not just shelving dear. They let me order a bunch of books from the new catalog and they just got here yesterday so I haven’t had time to get them all in the system and put out yet.”

“No worries, that’s what I’m here for.”

A few students are walking up to the desk, ready to check out, so Ms. Grissom goes over to help them. And I push the cart of new books towards the back so I can input their information into the office computer.

As I’m making my way to the back, I remember Gabriel’s phone number and I get a serious urge to text him. He did say he wanted me to text him.. but he also said to do it after school. If I texted him now, it would probably just seem desperate. But, I miss him. ..Wait, that’s ridiculous. I don’t miss him, I’m fine. I’m just hormonal or something. I mean, its been less than an hour since I’ve seen him. But, I do miss him.

I quickly shake my head. I just need to focus on my work for now. I’ll get through this and my last class, and then when I get home I’ll text him. Yeah. Okay.

At this point, I’ve made it to the back office computer and I just jump into my task. I start to get into a good groove. I feel like I’ve made decent progress, and then my thoughts start to wander back to Gabriel. Crap! I need to focus. I glance at the clock. Still forty minutes until third period is over! This is going to be a long day..