The Internship

Let Go

Paige

My feet wouldn’t keep my body balanced, and my knees bent under my weight with every step I took, feeling like I was walking on jelly. My lungs gave way and heat rushed in, consuming me whole. “Chad,” I choked out as my eyes darted from him to April.

The tears I had held back finally started to come down. I was choked up. My chest burned with searing pain.

I took deep breaths while panicking over not being able to catch my breath. “April you…” I could not get it out. Ragged sobs wracked my body. “You are my best friend, you hate Chad.” I could not make sense of what was happening in front of me. And I didn’t want to either.

My eyes landed on her car keys sprawled across the floor. I needed to leave. I lunged forward and scooped them up before fleeing toward the door; April quickly followed me, sobbing.

“Paige please, I can explain,” she sputtered, her face stained with tears. She looked worse than I did, which confused me. Why betray me if she would only feel this devastated?

“Please, it’s not like that! Just listen to me!” she cried as she grabbed hold of my shoulder.

I immediately pulled away. I needed to breathe. I managed to take a deep shaky breath of cool air outside the apartment.

Blair’s words played in my mind.

Had they known? Had everyone known that my best friend was sleeping with my boyfriend? Was I really that stupid?

The universe had written this scenario before. I was a part of it. The best friend sleeping with the friend’s man. It was an annoying cliche at this point.

I found April’s car and shoved the keys in. The doors unlocked with a click. Before I could open it she grabbed me again, crying and pleading. Her hands wrapped around my torso. “Don’t go, please!”

I pulled her off and let our friendship fall off me. As she fell to the ground, I reached for the door, but she grabbed me again, her fingers digging into my arms. “Paige, I didn’t mean to, please just listen to me!”

I spun her around, pushing against her shoulders. She stumbled, grabbing on tighter and pulling me back. Crying, she shrieked, “Why won’t you just hear me out!”

“I can’t! I trusted you!” I screamed. “You slept with him! How could you”

Her sobs cut me off. She clawed at my jacket. I staggered back, pulling it off and trying to fight off her hands. We both fell together.

“I loved you like a sister; how could you just-”

“AHHHHHH!” she screamed. “It’s not how it seems, I swear, if you’d just listen to me, I can explain…”

“STOP!” I yelled, shoving her off me. She fell against the wall, shaking. I ran to the door with shaking hands, focused on leaving.

I closed the door and fumbled the keys into the ignition. The engine growled, the rumble vibrating through my body. I threw the car into drive and sped out of the driveway.

The streetlights blurred past, and my thoughts sped faster. Images of April on the floor, Chad’s smirk, Blair’s warning… I was such a fool.

Every thought flew through my skull. I hit the gas, trying to outrun the pain and betrayal.

I turned corners cautiously, trying to keep the car in line. Bumps threw my perspective off and made my vision swim. I hardly noticed the red lights, the honk, or the city fading into darkness. My hands gripped the wheel until my knuckles turned white. My body was overrun with adrenaline.

My heart thundered, drowning out the sobs escaping my mouth. The faster I drove, the more intense the chaos inside me became. I didn’t want to think, I wanted to go.

My panic grew. I took a corner too fast and the car spun out of control. My hands shook as I tried to control it, but my vision blurred even more.

The rest happened in an instant. The car spun, its tires squealing. My body slammed into the seatbelt and shot forward as it hit a tree. Glass shattered, airbags burst open, blinding me and leaving me in pain. I couldn’t breathe. I heard the pounding of my heart and the ringing in my ears.

Finally, my heart gave a last desperate beat, then went still. I felt the moment my life slipped. I had imagined it would be terrifying, but it wasn’t; it was gentle. The burning pain ceased, draining away like a receding tide. My lungs no longer ached and my limbs didn’t throb. I felt myself fading.

The darkness wasn’t terrifying. It was soothing, especially when I saw them.

My parents stood before me, they looked the same as always. My mother had the same smile, and my father’s arms were open. Peace filled my body, the ache I had carried felt insignificant.

“You can let go now, sweetie,” mum whispered.

I wanted to. I wanted to melt into her arms and never return.

But before I could reach her, a different voice echoed. “Paige.”

The sound broke through me. My ears rang again, and the glow flickered.

“Paige!” The voice came again. “Stay with me Paige, stay with me.”

I tried to move, to tell them I was there, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. This place turned into an explosion of bodies. They lifted me, strapping me onto something. My vision went blank from the flashing lights and sirens. Cold hands touched me, needles stung my skin, and the beeping sound of machines echoed.

The voice stayed in my head, keeping me anchored. “Don’t go, Paige, stay.”

I had no idea why but I had a feeling I could trust it. I held onto the voice with all I had left, stuck in an endless void between consciousness and unconsciousness. For the first time in my life, I thought to myself, at least I wasn’t alone.