Missing Star

Chapter 15

Marissa 

I had always found comfort in backing. But tonight was not my night. It started out with the Game Warden finding me at school and not wanting what I had to offer. I mean it wasn't much, but friendship was maybe something. I say maybe because I'm not sure. I have issues and trust is not an easy thing. 

I was finally facing the fact that how I was raised is not normal or even right. I am messed up six ways to nowhere. So I wanted to bake, I had hoped that this would make the pain I was feeling go away but that didn't happen. It started off with me burning a whole batch of bread rolls.

That turned on the smoke detector and as I ran to get the oven I swiped the counter and took out the small bag of flour. It exploded like a bomb and now I was covered in it as well as half my trailer. And to top off this perfect mess I pulled out the burnt rolls without any oven mitts so when I felt the pain I let go and they all went crashing to the ground. I opened the back door to help let out the smoke and just sat on the floor hoping for a miracle. 

Then a half howl came from the door. I look up to see a beautiful Wolf standing less than six feet from my back door. He was massive in size but his color was a deep gray with silver underneath. He was amazing and for some reason, I wasn’t scared of him. It was the opposite. I felt a pull of something towards him. With a small tilt of his massive head, I looked around me and it was a mess. No wonder I heard a laugh come from him. 

“Are you laughing at me?” I asked more for myself than anything. But then I heard a powerful voice that was deep and sweet all at the same time. 

It was like he told me that I had exploded a bakery. There was no way that I heard him. I could help but feel like I was losing my mind. There was no way that animals could talk to me. I mean I was good at reading then and learning what they needed but never had I ever been able to hear back from them. 

He was so calm about things at this point. Then when he stood I got a memory flash of the night that I had run from Jerome. This was the same wolf that was in the woods that night. I was so sure of it that without realizing it I moved closer to him and found myself on the first step to the trailer door. 

I looked at him for a long time and was just mesmerized. I found myself talking hoping to find answers.   “Okay so now I'm officially crazy. But I've seen you before. You were in the woods the night I left. I saw you there. But that can't be possible over 400 miles away and there is no way that a wolf would travel that far.” I was talking and he was just listening to me. My mind could seem to wrap around the fact that he was here and talking to me to top it off. But as I rattled off, he stood up. 

I went silent for the first time in a few minutes. half of me thought that he was going to leave and my heart hurt at that thought. But to my surprise, he moved slowly closer and closer to me. As he approached my face I held my breath. He leaned in and placed his head on the crook of my neck and shoulder. As he took a deep breath in, so did I. The feel of him made me feel free and safe all at the same time. 

I couldn't help but reach out and push my fingers through his fur. It was soft and warm as I moved down towards his paw. I could feel the strength that he had under. He was just overwhelming to me. When I pulled away I felt like I was pulling away from everything that I needed to survive. 

“What do we do now?” I asked more of myself than anyone else. But then that voice offered me to be friends. All the animals that I had treated and found over the years had been close to me but this was different. We somehow, someway we were communicating and it was different than anything I had ever felt before. Looking up to the sky for an answer. 

“While it never hurts to have a friend,” I said and this answer made me smile. For the first time, I was hopeful. This feeling drove me, so how I felt like this was a major change coming and I was not going to run but face it. 

With that, I had renewed energy I got up and headed back to my home to clean the mess and start over fresh. Over the next few hours, no one spoke but it was clear that things were changing. I felt safe for the first time in a long time and it was all because I had become friends with a wolf. As I cleaned and moved around over the night I pulled out an old comforter that was well past its best years. So I folded it to add volume and placed it in the back corner next to the back door. There was my new wolf spot and he seemed to agree. 

Without saying a word he came up and got comfortable while I finished the last batch of bread rolls that I had in the oven. I also made a simple chicken broth for dinner. There in the quiet trailer, we eat slowly making a new routine.