Crossed

I am a murderer.

I pick up the kettle and wrap it in a plastic too. I look back at the black garbage bag I just packed the dead man in, it still sat on top of the pool of blood from before.

I knew I wasn't suppose to handle it this way but reporting this to the police because Sekani would have to serve jail time, even if it was in self defense, she would be gone for at least five months.

I snap the idea of the officials out of my head and limp to mum, who was still motionless on the floor.

"Mum, we need to get rid of him before Sekani and Lileti get down here again." I tell her but she stays put, her eyes on the bloody black plastic.

"Mum." I call but she doesn't respond, she makes to attempt to look at me.

Fury thrusts down my nerves, she didn't have the right to sit there like she just lost the best thing in her life.

I yank her by the shoulders and bring her face to mine.

"Snap out of it mum!" I say underneath my grintted teeth. "This...this is all your fault." My voice breaks this time.

"She..." she whispers, her voice barely audible, "she hit him, she killed him." She's louder with the second sentence.

"No mum, No." I squeeze on her shoulders, my finger nails digging into her woollen sweater. "You killed him." I tell her with all my might.

"My Sekani can't go to jail." She wiggles herself free from my grip and jumps straight for her phone. "She's only a baby." She goes on as she punches a few numbers.

"Who are you calling?"

I ask, grabbing the phone before she could say anything.

'911' I see the numbers flash on the half cracked screen

I immediately cut the call.

"Are you insane?" I scream at her.

She doesn't say a word. She just looks at me, like she didn't know what to do with me, or what to do to herself. She just stood and stared at me.

"Help me get rid of him." I say as I walk towards the body but she stays still.

I have nothing to say to her as I feel anger ring up my body. If she wasn't my mother, I would blow her head with a kettle too, or catch her skull open with the baseball bat the house owners left lying in the corner of the kitchen.

But she gave me life, and even though she isn't the best mum in the world, she is still mine.

I limp on and open the kitchen door, when I come back to the living room, mum had disappeared, she was probably up stairs trying to keep Sekani from coming down, I thought.

I yanked one of the cloth sheets on top of the piled boxes and rolled dad's plastic wrapped body in it.

It got stained red almost immediately.

I knotted it neatly and with every atom if energy in me I pulled on it. I pulled it on, my ankle felt like it was ripping into a thousand tiny pieces, but I didn't stop for a second.

I pulled the body until I was far enough from the house.

A sloppy forest of woods and a well no one used stood right at the end of the property we were supposed to be taking care of till the next owners moved in.

I could have just rolled his body on the sloop nd allow him disappear in the woods, but I couldn't risk anyone finding him.

I finally pulled his weight over the wall of the well after so many attempts.

I swallowed hard as I looked at the cloth sheet that was fully stained with his blood. Tears rushed to my eyes. Even if he wasn't my biological father, this drunk raised me.

I put my hands forth to push him but stopped half way.

I thought I heard it wrong, but there it came again, an agonised breath came from inside the sheet.

'He is alive!' My mind registered.

I immediately began to undo the knot when I heard him speak, grasping for air.

"I will kill that brat." My hands come to a halt immediately, he was talking about Sekani, even after everything, after tasting death, he wanted her gone, he wanted to abuse her like he always did me.

I feel nothing but anger in the pit of my stomach. I battle with the knot, finally it comes undone. The plastic must have sagged off as I dragged him because I could hardly see it waist up.

My angry eyes meet his as soon as I allow him to breath again. It takes a second for him to realise he is laying on a well wall.

He flights, probably because of his pounced headache from the blow.

"I will kill her, " he says, almost out of breath.

I cup his chin between my fingers, hard enough I could feel them drain of blood.

"Look at me you bustard!" I say as if he wasn't already, "you will never hurt us" I grind my teeth against each other when I speak, "NEVER AGAIN!"

It all happened to fast, not even I got a moment to think about it lest I hesitate.

I hear his scream disappear with him as he descends down the well, then there was silence.

I hardly have the guts to keep standing. I feel last night's dinner coming up my throat and before I know it, I'm on my kneels puking it out.

Felt like my intestines were coming up too.

I roll on my back once that episode of vomit is over and look at the morning clouds make form.

I killed him. It was me, not Sekani. I finished him.

Tears trail down the sides of my face.

The weight on my heart seemed to add up mass.

I was a murderer.

I am a murderer.