A hot mess

Chapter 20

Aria

The cold metal of his car merged with my back as we kissed. I was the one who initiated it but I am the one being swallowed, drowned and pushed to my limits.

Kissing him felt so good, reliving but at the same time toxic and needy. I have never had the urge to want someone so much.

Maybe it must be because he is the one who took my virginity. I don't know just a guess, because every time he has his hands on me, I feel this unquenchable fire. Everything in me just wants to be unravelled and ruined by him.

I must be sick. No one in their rightful mind would want to be with a dangerous person with a disgusting personality. But I am the one to talk.

“Do you want this?" he asked in between our kiss. I am surprised he questions my comfortability in this. Especially when he is the type to take it rough.

“Yes, I want this." I nod.

“I will f*****g ruin you." He threatens, a way of him to tell me to quit before things get too much for me to handle.

But I can handle anything, I can handle him.

“I can handle you," I boldly muttered and he parts away from me. I grew alarmed by his distance, afraid what I had said turned him off.

“Wait..." I tried to explain myself but he interrupted me.

“You have ten seconds to run as far as you can. If I catch you then I will ruin every bit of you, f**k that twisted little brain of yours and make you feel the entirety of darkness. Run," he ordered and I found myself tripping on my injured foot.

He is being unfair, taking advantage of my bad leg. But I won't give up with out a fight. I match my feet to the ground and start to run.

I don't want to give him the pleasure of easy access to my cunt. He has to earn it.

I sprint through the damp woods thrilled by his chase. The adrenaline rush feels my veins with excitement and fear of what he would do if he catches me.

The sound of his footsteps is far behind me and I think I would beat him to this chase until I felt a hard pull on my hair.

I launched back from the force and him my back on the ground. I haven't even ran deep into the forest and he has already caught me.

He sat above me focused on getting what he wanted while I fought him. Pushing my hands against him even when I knew he could overpower me with his strength. But he gave me the liberty to fight back or worse allowed me to use up my energy before he started to act.

The sound of his belt clicked in the air the second he trapped my hand above my head. I began to panic, thinking he would let me go if he notices my fear.

But he didn't instead he hunched my trouser down and yanked my panties off. My p***y was left bare for the wind to kiss for a few seconds before I felt the hard thrust of his rod.

I take back my words on handling him. I can't handle him. He is too huge and my v****a can't contain him even though one of its features is elasticity.

That day I had given him my virginity, I had ridden him. Which was completely different because I had the better advantage. But right now, he was too big for me.

He thrust in again and tears rolled down the side of my eyes as I gasped from the intricate mixture of pain and pleasure.

“You asked for this,Aria. From now on, this p***y is mine." He thrusts. “Mine to fill." Thrust. “Mine to misuse." Thrust. “Mine to devour." Thrust. “Mine to ruin." Thrust.

I think I am going to die from the pain and pleasure of his c**k as he makes claim of my p***y rough and hard.

With my hands trapped above my head, it was impossible for me to retaliate with a scratch or two. I also feel like he is f*****g me with all the hate he has for me.

He even goes ahead to choke me just to see me suffer under his cruelty.

His thrust kept going deeper and harder screwing every working circuit in my brain. I could feel the rage in his eyes, the contempt hidden in them. All because he hates me.

The way he stared at me with his harsh cold eyes as he rammed my p***y felt disturbing. I know this s*x is without emotional attachment but I don't want to be treated like a w***e. I want to be cared for, to be connected while being f**k. But that is too much to ask. What he is giving should be enough to satisfy my attraction towards him.

He doesn't spill his c*m inside me after giving me the most satisfying orgasms I have ever experienced in my life. Instead he spilled it on my belly, decorating it as he desired.

I felt dirty from being f****d on the ground, ruined like a w***e and treated with less importance.

That's how he sees me, an insignificant w***e that satisfies his delirious desire. I won't totally blame him because I have consented to be treated in such a manner by him. I should be disgusted by myself and not him.

“Can you walk?" He dared to ask after doing such a thing to me.

“No." I mumbled, my voice at the lowest I have ever heard it. I don't feel the same after the s*x. My self-esteem seemed to have poured on the ground. Shame was the only thing I could feel from it. I can't even bring myself to look at him. He doesn't say a word and carries me in his arms.

What the f**k have I done to myself? How am I going to live through this? how am I going to live through this with him? Will I ever return to my old self after this unforgettable truce of attraction? The answer is no. I will forever live in regret for the path I have chosen to walk on.