Ghost Boyfriend

cousins

Pulling over the roadside opposite Sixth Poo Street where my dear uncle lives, I notice a couple of kids squealing in the garden with baseball bats, aiming for a giant-sized pinàta hung up on a tree. I mentally groan, stepping out. So it's a child party then? I hate kids. They were so scuffy and always wail so loud.

Observing more closely, I note my uncle (the bald haired one who dressed as a booger last year to his own birthday party) at the centre of the charade, not only laughing with the children but dressed as a clown too with a puffy marshmallow nose and a meat steak around his neck. Ridiculously shameful enough that I stow away to the toilet for a few minutes. Don't want anyone asking me 'Hey, isn't that your uncle the clown guy? By the way he's really funny and it's a pity you both are related' bah, people say garbage these days.

Back pressed against the door, I shoot Maya a few texts which she responds to in an awkward rush.

Pete: XD, ready for the Dojo?

Mag: No. Dance class came up.

Pete: Crap, what about Trudy.

Mag: Um..he had to take Makyla on a date. Sorry, have fun!

Crushed, I switch my cell off and head out to the damned garden. It's no news I've got worthless friends.

"Hi there Gill!" I snap my head back to the direction of the call and, oh no. It's the bleakest of eyes. Dad's brother who always calls me Gill like I was some fish and try all I could to correct him, he still does it. I think he does it on purpose, he's such a creep.

Anyways, it was hard to blend in and not get noticed with his hyperactive sight. With half his lids closed!

I glance everywhere else for a getaway but find none.

Fuck, I mutter. The universe is against me today.

"How's it going? It's been a long time since I've seen you last. Look at you, all grown!" drawing closer, the air instantly becomes saturated with his ginger cologne which smelt like spice so much my nose twitched.

He places a hand on my shoulder and the area of contact crawls.

Lawd.

Guess this is the part where I have to say something.

"Oh I've been around. Mostly studying," I smile brightly with my teeth and nose closed while taking wise, cautious steps backward. I'm wheezing harder. "I plan to be a doctor someday." although I don't know why I said the last part but I was up for anything right now.

"Good. You found your calling quite early." he reaches into his back pocket for something and my heart thumps faster. Dad's brothers have this age-long tradition of giving out out one copper pence to anyone they felt they've impacted knowledge into. It was made up ages ago before my parents were even born when Granny Collins was much younger and had helped an old woman out of the rain with her luggage. Pleased with this, the lady pressed a copper pence to her forehead and told her to close her eyes and say 'This is my breakthrough'. When Granny opened her eyes, the lady was gone and so was the copper pence. There and then the age-long cheesy tradition of passing copper pences became a thing.

"Figured you'd use this," he drops a large book or a dictionary of some sort and slowly withdrew into the crowd.

Hot with embarrassment (And silently hoping no one saw that) I edge away in annoyance, flinging the book into some dumpster. So much for socializing. So much for family and acceptance. At the top of my to-do list right now was to get through this stupid party and go home.

As I let myself into the very spacious house, I'm appalled with the crowd and fancy chairs with Danish tables, everyone about and abuzz. Why, this is where the fun is! Not outside with a couple of crazy kids, trying to grab a shot at a pinàta which obviously isn't very bright.

Jostling with the crowd while trying not to get in the way of the stewards milling about with drinks in tall sparkly glasses, I also prevent myself from ripping a gown or stepping on a toe.

Uncle Jin is at the farthest end of the room talking loudly to a man in a wolly suit with Mom and Dad watching on with bored expressions. Mom smiles and I wave, almost tripping against the loads of presents lined so close to the walls.

Good thing no one saw that. I do a sign of the cross just before realizing I forgot my present at home. I stand, stunned. What would I do? Will Uncle Jin notice I sent him nothing? Pfft like he even knows I'm around. Oh no, he's looking this way! I quickly squat behind some kid with an explosive afro and wait till the coast is clear.

Shoot, that was a close one.

"Peter! So nice to see you here." A voice hollers and as I look up, I hunch farther behind the kid who looks mortified to do anything. A cold palm wraps itself around my arm and yanks me out. I come face to face with...

Shit! He's here?

"Peter." he beams.

"Hi cousin Br-ad-ley," I stutter. My face heats up when his lips curl up into a smile.

"Cousin?" he asks.

Yeah, cause that's what you are.

"Come on Pete we've talked about this, Aunt Morgan and I aren't related so much that we can't still get back together."

As he says this, my lungs constrict and I'm suffocating.

It all started last summer when Bradley saved me from a speeding tube and a bunch of whoodnits at the train station, we had our first kiss under some dingy but romantic tree (wow Peter so fast! But what could I do? He's gorgeous) and so we took a couple of nights off, sloshing back wine in his cozy apartment downtown and the next thing is that we're too drunk to stop anything from happening.

So it happens and we both visit Dad and Mom to consummate out relationship/bond whatever yuck explains this and they're telling us we're both related and pointing out the similarities in our eyes and that our noses are pointy with Mom ending with a question 'Hope nothing has gone on between you two. This is a delectable situation and young adults these days are so in a rush to do stuff. You're both related and s*x would be incest.'

Thanks a lot Mom. Wish you'd told us that beforehand.

The appropriate thing left to do is, never speak again, block each other's number and play it cool like nothing happened.

Which is exactly what I did.

He, of course keeps pestering me.

"Look Brad it's over. We were so young back then and as cousins - " his lips descends on mine unexpectedly and I push him back, wide-eyed. "Get a grip on yourself twerp. Not here at least."

"Where baby?" Eyes shining, his tone is laced with lust.

"Here," I raise my knee up and hit him where it hurts the most. He screams, falling to the floor.

I bolt out the doors, almost bumping into Mom.

"Peter! Where have you been? I've been searching all over for you. The party's started."

I'm breathing hard while looking behind me anxiously in case Bradley shows up. "I've been around. Inside mostly."

"Well come on, everyone is waiting for you."