My 26-year-old female tenant

Chapter 10: There are bad people in the crowd

After a moment, Fang Yuan and I went downstairs together. He got into the company's business car, and I sat in Yan Yan's car.

My nerves were inexplicably in knots, and I even blamed Fang Yuan for telling me the news of Jian Wei's return so suddenly. After three years, I no longer knew what emotions to face her with.

I had longed to see her day and night, yet feared it... fearing the pain of silence and awkwardness that would follow our meeting.

Yan Yan started the car, switched lanes after checking the rearview mirror, and asked me, "Zhao Yang, why do you look so burdened?" She then shook her head and added, "It's... not quite like you!"

I smiled and said, "Do I have to be heartless to be myself?"

"Fang Yuan told you Jian Wei is coming back, right?"

"Mm-hmm," I responded, rolling down the car window and lighting a cigarette.

"No wonder, in this world, besides Jian Wei, no one else can touch the melancholy nerves of Zhao Yang, can they?" Yan Yan remarked.

"I think you're overthinking. She's not invincible, and I'm not that vulnerable," I replied with a smile.

Yan Yan shrugged and said, "Zhao Yang, you know your own heart best... The brighter you smile, the more it hurts inside, doesn't it?"

"As if you know me so well," I finally put away the smile that Yan Yan thought was a facade, to prove that I wasn't as hurt as she suggested.

"After so many years of friendship, if I don't understand you, who does... Zhao Yang, let me tell you something from the heart. Although we all feel regretful about you and Jian Wei, I have to tell you: when a woman's heart changes, the man she once loved becomes a second-hand cigarette that no longer brings pleasure, only stinging her eyes with smoke. The only thing she can do at this point is to discard that second-hand cigarette. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, taking a deep drag of my cigarette.

"I hope you can be more graceful about it."

I was silent for a long time before asking with reluctance, "What is love, anyway? Isn't it a promise and a lifetime of commitment? Why make a promise but lack the courage to persist?"

"Zhao Yang, love is really not as simple as you think. You should understand why Fang Yuan and I can make it last, but you and Jian Wei couldn't."

I fell silent again; I did understand. Fang Yuan and Yan Yan, though not from extremely wealthy families, were well-off, a good match. But Jian Wei and I... I clearly remembered that before going abroad, Jian Wei's father bought her a Cadillac CTS as a graduation gift... But does love really need to be measured by material things? I'm not quite sure!

Yan Yan continued, "Jian Wei did truly love you. You know she went to study in the U.S. to avoid her parents' arranged marriage, hoping that after three years, they would accept her being with you when she returned. But why did she break up with you after arriving in the U.S.? I'm also puzzled... Maybe it's really because..."

Not wanting to relive the feelings from the breakup, I interrupted Yan Yan, "Stop, like you said, she changed her heart, and I'm a second-hand cigarette that can't be smoked with pleasure."

"I only used the change of heart as a metaphor..." Yan Yan tried to comfort me.

There's a kind of person in this world who has a special ability to comfort someone who wants to die to the point where they actually go and die. Undoubtedly, Yan Yan is one of them.

...

The entire day, I accompanied Yan Yan to buy the items on the list that Fang Yuan had prepared for their wedding. It wasn't until the evening that Yan Yan and I had a simple meal and parted ways.

Despite not sleeping at all last night and working hard all day, as night approached, I had no desire to sleep. Walking on the street, every time I saw couples cuddling under the neon lights passing by, I felt an endless sense of loneliness and emptiness.

I still habitually wanted to empty my mind, as if my nights should belong to nightclubs. I told myself: maybe after having some drinks, I would sleep soundly tonight.

Listening to the explosive bar music, watching the flickering lights, and people wildly twisting their waists, I had already downed several bottles of beer and was feeling a bit dizzy. I liked this feeling, free of worries, free of love and hatred, only with a blurred and illusory state.

There are two resident bands in this bar, and they take turns performing every night. Today happens to be the "Torn Nerves" band led by Luo Ben, and I have a good relationship with Luo Ben. Sometimes we play music together.

Luo Ben, using his fingers to hold down the guitar strings, created a series of abrasive noises as he teased me with a smile, "Zhao Yang, come up and have some fun...?"

I put down my beer bottle, jumped onto the stage, took the guitar from Luo Ben's hands, and said to the rest of the band, "Let's do 'Resurrection.'"

Everyone nodded, various instruments began to make sounds, and under the flashing lights, heavy metal music started to swell.

With the venting of drunkenness, I stepped on a prop shaped like an ammunition box with one foot and began to play the electric guitar wildly, singing with a roaring, explosive sound: "The hand of fantasy holds the big flag, my bones tucked in my coat, desperately recalling the way back, turning around and smashing into the wall; Oh mom, I can't come back; Oh mom, you have to bear the burden, mommy, hurry up and give birth to me, give birth to me... Raise your voice and tear open your neck..."

I only sang half when a young man with long hair, wearing a black jacket, and a gold chain, who looked like a thug, glared at me and shouted, "What the hell are you singing, you hick... Change the song..."

I stopped, squinted at him, and said, "You grandson say that again."

The long-haired man kicked over the nearest drum set: "You i***t, I said change the song!"

"Damn you..." I stood high up and kicked the long-haired man in the face, as if finding a sense of pleasure in venting, then jumped down from the stage with the guitar and started smashing it. In a moment, the guitar was smashed to pieces, and the long-haired man was beaten, holding his head and curling up on the ground, screaming in agony.

A few people who were with the long-haired man rushed at me with beer bottles, but were blocked by Luo Ben and the band members. Amidst the chaos, I saw someone calling the police, so I immediately threw away the remnants of the guitar and ran outside the bar.

...

In the interrogation room of the police station, the light shone on me, and an older police officer, who seemed quite friendly, sat opposite me.

"Name, gender, age, workplace."

"No... Police officer, that guy really deserved to be beaten. He was the one who kicked our drum set first. You know, for us musicians, our instruments are like our own flesh and blood. He hit my flesh and blood, how could I let him go? ... Police officer, I really didn't want to fight. It's just that there are bad people in the crowd!!" I said with a mournful face.

"Stop talking nonsense. No matter how many reasons you have, fighting is wrong. The law doesn't give you that right, do you understand?"

"Police officer, I know I was wrong. I have already done a very deep reflection and self-criticism in my heart. I shouldn't ignore the dignity of the law. In the future, I will definitely raise my awareness and be a good citizen who abides by the law, and resolutely not drag the legs of a harmonious society!"

"Alright, stop talking nonsense! ... Go and pay the fine."

"No detention, right?" I asked cautiously.

"The young man you hit only suffered some minor injuries, and he agreed to settle privately. You compensate him for the hospital expenses and lost wages, plus the fine, a total of 6000 yuan."

"6000!!! ... Police officer, I don't have so much money on me!"

"Call your family or friends."

Hearing the words 'family' and 'friends,' I suddenly felt lost. At this moment, I truly felt how lonely I was in this city where I had lived for two years.

I definitely couldn't call Fang Yuan or Yan Yan. Firstly, they are about to get married, and I don't want to bring this trouble to them. Secondly, they have expressed to me countless times their hope that I live a stable life, so it's better not to let them know about this, for fear they would be disappointed!

...

After thinking for a long time, the extremely hateful but overly beautiful face appeared in my mind.

Call Mi Cai, yes, call Mi Cai! Anyway, in her eyes, I'm already a scumbag with no image to speak of. Let her help me pay the fine first, and then I'll pay her back next week's salary along with the money I owe her.

At this moment, I was really glad that I had memorized her phone number in the morning.

I took out my phone from my pocket, found Mi Cai's number, and then dialed it.