Silent Echoes

Fading Footsteps

Weeks have passed since I last saw her online, and I’ve started to wonder if this is the distance I needed—time without the reminders of her smile, without the echoes of what we once had. But just when I begin to believe I might be making progress, a notification pulls me back.

A mutual friend posts a group photo. There she is, standing at the edge, just out of focus, but unmistakable. Her laugh, her body language, everything about her feels so familiar, yet so unreachable. I find myself zooming in, studying her face as if I’ll find an answer hidden in the details.

I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t even look. But the heart doesn’t always listen to logic. It follows its own rhythm, stubbornly pulling you back to the places you once called home. And no matter how many times I tell myself that it’s time to move on, I can’t seem to silence the part of me that still believes she’s somewhere out there, thinking of me, too.

I close the app, setting my phone aside. This time, I won’t let it consume me. I tell myself that over and over, as if repetition will make it true.

I’ve been working on myself lately, or trying to. I wake up early, start the day with yoga, breathe through the restless energy that comes with missing someone you were never supposed to lose. I focus on my career, my friends, anything that will keep my mind occupied. Sometimes it works. Other times, like now, I’m caught in a loop of “what ifs.”

What if I’d fought harder for us? What if I hadn’t let her walk away so easily? Maybe things would be different now. But I know that’s a lie. She needed space, and maybe I did, too. We were at different stages, on different paths, no matter how much we tried to pretend otherwise.

The thing is, I don’t regret letting her go. Not really. I think, deep down, I knew she needed that time to grow, to find herself. I’ve needed that, too. But what I regret—what I can’t seem to shake—is the idea that she’s moved on completely, while I’m still here, stuck in this in-between space where she’s neither fully gone nor fully present.

I sit by the window, watching the world outside move forward without me. Couples walk by, holding hands, sharing laughter. It used to hurt more, seeing that, but now it just feels like a reminder of what life could be. I don’t want to be bitter. I want to be free, open to whatever comes next.

But how do you make peace with the fact that someone who once knew you better than anyone now feels like a stranger? How do you move forward when the past keeps pulling you back?

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything that’s unsaid. Maybe I’ll never have the answers. Maybe I’ll never really know if she thinks of me the way I think of her. But for now, I’ll try to find my own way forward, one step at a time.